[amberl10]

So how long does it usually take start to finish, if we started the process now would we have our child home within a year? Also, we don't have any children due to infertility and this would be our first child. How do you go from no children at all to raising a toddler? Do you miss out on a lot by not raising an infant??? Could we handle this? I sat and watched my 3 year old nephew and he was exhausting, so hyper, I'm not used to that, could we do this??? Any suggestions would be great!

[SingleMama2B]

Hi Amber..... YES YOU CAN!!!

Time wise.... I believe it will depend on your agency (NGO clearence, accredition, etc.), the region(s) it works in, and ANY unforseen changes (on Russia's part), you are probably looking at about 18 months or maybe sooner. If you are looking more at the toddler age, it might even be alittle sooner. Soooo many things hinge on other things, that it's hard to know for sure.

I would FIRST of all, get educated about agency(s), their success and possibly failures to complete adoptions. What their current status is in Russia. What regions they have a good working relationship with, costs, paperwork (dossier), requirements, medicals, etc. How many trips, and many more questions.

I adopted an older child (home at the age of 8.3 years old). My DD is my first and only child, and I adopted as a single woman. Sooooo, if I can do it, you can do it.... and you will LOVE it too!!!

Blessings..............

[LilyMoon]

YES...it is exhausting! It is also, for me, one of the most rewarding experiences in my life. But, you need to ask yourself if this is what YOU want. I knew for certain that my child was waiting for me in an orphanage in Russia and that I would do anything to that end. I brought home my daughter at age 4. It was not easy in the first few months...getting adjusted, the language barrier, attachment work needed to be done, but with a great deal of time and effort, she has blossomed into the child the most wonderful child and a blessing in our lives beyond measure.

Bringing home a child from an institutional setting has it's challenges. The key is in being realistic and being prepared. Read up on attachment in post institutionalized children. Talk to others who have done it and research agencies very thoroughly.

This is a good place to start.
Best wishes,

[cathvash]

Hi, and welcome. Timeframes are so hard to call these days... However, I think it is very likely you could have a child in one year. Agency choice, favorable politics, making sure all your ducks are in a row, and a little luck will make the difference.

I think toddlers are the BEST. No more adaptation on your part than how you would have to adjust for a baby - Each comes with unique needs. My daughter had her second birthday on the day I had court. This is the cutest age you can imagine (though you'll think they are all cute!). I was able to enjoy her last few months of "babyhood" - I have lots of "baby" stories to share with her, and I had a lot fewer diapers to change...

Good luck!

[SingleMama2B]

Hi Amber.... I wanted to add.... though I adopted my DD as an older child.... I thought that I would miss having alot of "HER FIRSTS"... sometimes I do, but NOT as much as I thought I would.

I still had her firsts steps on American Soil, her First School Day in America, her First American words, sentences, her First Puppy and Kitten, Her first Bedroom to herself, her First Large Family, and SOOOO MANY MORE FIRSTS!!! My DD came from a VERY POOR village, and she had a VERY ROUGH start in LIFE.... she suffered ALOT, and now being home 17+ months, how she has BLOSSOMED and THRIVED!!!

I too, knew my daughter was somewhere in Russia, and I was VERY Lucky to have found her!!! Nothing like the smile on your child's face just because she feels safe, and loved!!!!

Blessings..............

[BlissMom]

Duration: It took us three days short of a year from signing up to landing back at home.

From zero to toddler: Our little girl was 14 months and of course you miss things BUT... I feel as if we have always had her.. and I am CLEARLY her Mommy... she knows it down to her cute little toes!

It is the single most exhausting thing I have ever done ever hands down period..... and I've been a VP of a huge company... a wedding coordinator for large events.. a public speaker.. I've done some pretty taxing things and sister let me tell you NOTHING has come close to this in the exhaustion department.

THAT being said... Nothing in my entire life has brought me this depth of true unbridled deep irrevocable joy. I quit my job to be a stay home Mommy before she came home and it was THE best decision.

The fatigue in no way shape or form compares to the joy.
<And this is coming from someone who was TERRIFIED to become a Mom! Didn't think I'd be a good mother, didn't think I could handle it.. dreaded problems with adoption etc.>

It is funny.. I am DELIGHTED when I get her down for the night and just want to collapse... then about two hours later I start missing her and can't wait 'till the morning when I get to see her again.. there is truly NOTHING in the world like this!

Being prepared it important.. but you sound like that won't be a problem

Suggestions: Hmmm... Prayer and caffeine.. in that order

~Praying for my daughter during the year long process really was the most important thing. I truly believe that she has attached to me so well as a result to answered prayer~

[lakimnafite]

Timeframes... Ah... so different! If everything goes as planned, we will complete our adoption 12 days short of 3 YEARS after signing on with our agency!

Now, we are an unusual case.. So don't be too afraid. Hope for the best, understand worst case scenarios, and plan for something in between.

I went from a single, carefree, perhaps wild ..., woman who drove a red convertable mustang and traveled all the time - to a married mommy of an 18 month old son. It was a huge system shock! A person who LOVED my sleep - and would rarely open my eyes before noon on Saturday - had a new son who would wake up at 7am ready to eat and play. Traded my mustang for an SUV..

That little guy just turned 7 a few weeks ago - and he is the greatest thing that ever happened to me! I sometimes miss my mustang, and often still miss sleeping in until noon - but I wouldn't trade it for the world.

As far as what I missed.. Well, at first I was very sad to have missed the first 18 months and all that goes with it. When we started our adoption process, I wanted to make sure we got a baby much younger so I could experience the things I missed before. Well, we're getting a toddler and I'm actually okay with it now! I may have missed a lot of my son's first months - but I have experienced far more of his life that I have missed. I have also missed a lot of my daughter's first months, but I know now all the things I have to look forward to - with both of them!

[LisArno]

In a few months my husband and I will be going from no kids to three kids (3, 4, and 10) from Poland. My theory is "that will be normal" since we won't know any differently. I'm really not into babies, so I don't think I'll miss many of those milestones. As SingleMama2b stated, there will be plenty of other firsts to share.
If possible, start spending more time with your nephew or other young children. That will give you a little more experience and positive thinking - "Yes, we can do this!" It will also be helpful in learning what you do NOT want to do with your child or allow him/her to do. My friend's son has pretty much been allowed to eat whatever/whenever/wherever he pleases since he was 1 1/2 and he just turned three. After sweeping up a trail of cookie crumbs, spilled coke, and finding pieces of cheese behind a statue a couple days later, that's definitely not going to be allowed at our house. The boy recently spent three days at our house and it only took two reminders for him to learn that he can't carry a drink around our house and it stays on the kitchen table.

I am also sending you a PM.