[Vicki H]

Poll Idea, thanks to Kay.

PS. Made this multiple choice for those who have adopted more than once.

[KimOH]

I registered one vote for each.

Although both transitions had their "moments," DS's transition went pretty smoothly. I loved being a mom and I was honestly "better at it" than I expected to be.

DD's transition was a little rougher (okay, a lot rougher by comparison) and we added a new layer since DS also had to get used to having a new sister. Although he was/is a great big brother, it's still mommy being stretched in a lot of directions. Fortunately, I had heard from others and these boards that the first 6 months with #2 are often really hard, so I was prepared for it. When things got bad I reminded myself, "You knew it would be like this." and it really helped.

[2Bulgarianbeauties]

My first 6 months with my first DD was SO hard. She had anxious attachment, was severly delayed, and I was learning how to be a mom.

My second one has been home 4 days. While she is not anxiously attached, she wants to be held a lot, and gave me my first kiss on Saturday! My problem with her is that she is very defiant, espicially when tired. She also pretends to bite her arm when she does not get her way. So, we are working though a lot of that.

I am tired!

Kay

[kretzklan]

I voted purgatory - but that was due more to me and my reactions than to the kids...but, yeah - it was not fun (and we're only at month 7...so still learning)

[Jim_in_PA]

All of the above, depending on the day, hour, minute and phase of the moon...

[justmp]

DD was our first child. She was healthy and developmentally on target when she came home. She bonded to us right away and we to her. Things went very smoothly. It really was a honeymoon. I do remember being incredibly tired all the time and it was a big adjustment going from couple-hood to parenthood, but it was a wonderful time.

DS came home with some medical issues that we had to get past. We made trips to several doctors weekly and I was much more educated on bonding and attachment and found myself worrying about every little thing. It probably took 6 months for me to finally relax and just really enjoy our little guy.

[lippylulu]

We adopted an 8 year old. Our first 6 weeks were close to hellish. We were stressed and exhausted, and our daughter was full of anger, fear and loss. Things got better around month 3 when language became less of a barrier and we could really begin working on the grief issues. We also realized that we needed to discipline at times, something we had sort of neglected at first thinking it would take away from the love we wanted to convey. By 6 months things were MUCH MUCH better and now at 9 months home we are so normal its scary. Today was her first day of camp. She came home so deliriously happy and tired she could barely stand up! Its not a honeymoon phase, but it sure feels great!

[waitinginnj]

I can't say honeymoon, but purgatory doesn't seem right either. I think because the time was as I expected. Some great highs and a couple of lows. Going to sleep was a real challenge for a couple of months. Baths took a couple of weeks, but mostly it was good. Tiring, but good.

[LilyMoon]

I can't say the first 6 months were purgatory, but the first few weeks were! Things got better after that and continued to improve with attachment parenting.

[Sipper]

Our first 6 months were awesome. Gracie was great and adapted like a dream. We all just got along. Then, she turned 2. We have more purgatory these days. The little child we live with now is a full fledged toddler in every way and thinks she is all grown up. You say No to her and look out!

[blueprints]

Home with 2 children... later diagnosed with severe RAD, the first 6 months and then some were totally INSANE!

[Pinkie]

I voted purgatory!!....Classic Honeymoon.....Purgatory..... Classic Honeymoon!!..

[ddahl]

I thinks its all of the above for us as well. We picked up baby after court and had two glorious days of honeymoon-ish enjoyment. By the time we hit Moscow two days later we were all a wreck. Peeked after one day home back up to honeymoon, then back down again. I was so worried about DS bonding with us that it never occured to me that my bonding with him might take some work as well. It was never a question of loving him just more of an adjustment period where we were all getting to know one another. 10 months later we are all settled in. Many more good days than tough.

[kcgirlinfl]

I voted purgatory - even though I wouldn't say it lasted 6 months. I was thrilled to have DS home and be a mommy, but the two of us had a rough adjustment period. He was bonded to DH right away, but he struggled to let me love him. It was very hard for me emotionally.

But fast forward to today, and I have an almost two-year old momma's boy! He looks at me with love in his eyes, and I know our relationship is deeper because we struggled to get where we are today.

[tbristow]

I'm with waitinnj. It wasn't a honeymoon but it wasn't purgatory either. The first month was tough. My youngest at that point was almost 9 so it was tough going back to a little one again and our first boy so it was an adjustment. He was pretty needy there for awhile too. By 3 months, we were in our honeymoon. We still are...at least as much as you can have with a 29-month-old boy!!!