[pequele]

New to this of course and just starting my research. I haven't figured out the age of the child I am looking for (preferably under 5yrs). My question is how many of you rename your child upon adopting him/her? I would think it is easier if the child is an infant/toddler. I just worry that if I decided to go with a 3-5 yr old I'd give the kid an identy crisis if I wanted to give her a new/American name.

Any help/suggestions would be great! I know I have a ways off to even worry about this...heck I haven't even figured out if I can do this on my own yet

[beckyww]

Julia's Russian first name was odd - to them, and to us. Long story behind it. We kept it as her middle name and gave her the closest-sounding American/biblical first name, which was "Julia." When she's an adult, she could always change, but we think it's cruel to saddle a six-year-old with a name that begs for explanation.

Becky
www.woodworthfamily.blogdrive.com

[SingleMama2B]

Hi... You will get alot of different answers to this question... and strong feelings about it.

For me, I adopted my DD when she was alittle over 8 years old. I of course would NEVER think to change it on her at this age. Her birth name is Anna, but her 'pet' or 'child's' name (in russia) is Anya. When I hosted her that summer, I introduced myself to her, and said "prevet Anna".... she looked at me and said... "Nyet... Anya". So, when I was filling out the paperwork, and in court, I did request that all of her new paperwork have "Anya" on it. She would be fighting everyone (including teachers) to call her Anya. The good thing is, is that it is still truly her name.

As far as a baby/infant or even a 3 - 5 year old.... I couldn't tell you, since I didn't have to think about it. Just off the top of my head... I think I would first have to know what the child's given name was....

Congrats on starting your Love Journey!!! It is the best!!!!

Blessings..................

[hybell]

We had a similar experience with our 4 year old son adopted from Poland. We had planned to keep his original name, but give him a more American sounding nickname. But he had a pet name that is more common in the US (although it is much more Italian than Polish - go figure), and he preferred to be called that. We changed his official name to reflect the nickname.

The real struggle came when we decided to give him a middle name. He had some clear preferences, so it was a process of negotiation. In the end, we were all happy. I think it depends upon the child as much as anything.

[deidra_mitchell00]

I am new to this blog thing but I just wanted to reply to your question. I think even at a young age kids now there name. If it is hard to pronounce then give them a nickname but to change it completely, to me is sad. That is who they are and some day it could help them reconnect with their birth family. Good luck and congradulations!!!!!!!!

[Abdulina]

Won't make a difference if you rename them or not in my opinion. We've adopted all older children and some we've changed their names and some we haven't. They are learning a new language anyways so it all just ties into that. And, some of the teens when adopted (ones I've spoken to) said they preferred their name be changed to an American one so that they don't stick out so much. They told me they want to blend in w/ their peers essentially. It is a matter of personal choice. This next one (7yo when she gets home) will keep her spelling of her name but have an entirely phonetically different pronunciation to match the American phonetic system. Good luck in whatever you decide. Speaking of htis topic, my 13yo Irina HATES her name. She wants to be called by her middle name, Taylor. I do think all kids go through this though. However, have no fear there will be no identity crisis. As always, these are just my opinions, and I am no professional!

Best wishes,

[waitinginnj]

There are many threads on naming and renaming. It is a very personal decision. However, you should keep in mind that most childre are called by nicknames and may or may not recognize the name that you are agonizing about.

My daughter was two. I changed her name entirely. She did not recognize her Russian name. The Russian nickname, that she responded to, was not something that would work in the US. She is very proud of her name right now at 4 1/2. She knows that she had another name, but when I tell her what it was she giggles.

If she had had a different name, I may have been more inclined to keep it or a part of it, but I loved the naming process.

FYI - she recognized her new name within two days. I consider her Russian name part of her story. She will learn her story and it is not a secret in our family.

[Butabzig]

Our little one was not quite four when we brought her home. Her Russian name was quite a mouth full and we couldn't really figure out a way to use it. We changed it to something similar. Much like waitinginnj she began to recognize the name in days. I think she thought we were pronouncing it incorrectly at first. 7 1/2 months later she completely understands what her name was in Russian and what it is here in America. She tells us that that was her Russian name and this is her American name. She's just so happy to be an American though that she wants everything about her to be American.

[GCS]

We changed both our children's names completely. We were prepared for our 3 year old to need some time for the transisition, but he took to it right away.
Some people used both names at first to transisition. We just started calling him his new name after our translator explained to him that along with this new language he was learning, he would have a whole new name. She told him his first, middle and last name and then told him that everyone would call him "Sam" if that was ok. He said yes, he liked it.

Christina

[Jim_in_PA]

We did not rename our girls. We adjusted the transliteration of the older's name in "hopes" that folks would pronounce it in the Russian way, rather than the "Disney" way.

This is a personal decision. With infants and toddlers there is usually little risk with renaming. With older children, I'd suggest that they have a say. Some will prefer to keep their own names and some will want or even "demand" a new name. These kids suffer a huge amount of loss and grief already relative to adoption so the idea of a name change needs to be considered in that light. IMHO, of course...and you know how much it cost you!

[waitinginnj]

I agree with Jim - as the children get older they would have a say in the decision about names. That makes perfect sense to me.

[LilyMoon]

We kept our daughter's name of Anastasia, but changed to the "Disney" pronunciation. She was adopted at age 4. We used the nickname of Nastia that she was called in Russia for the first 6 months and then switched over to her full name when she started kindergarten. We felt that Nastia was too close to the word "nasty" and we had already heard another child say so. I love the name and things have worked out really well.

[pequele]

This is great insight guys! I love this board! I totally agree the older kids have to have a say in it, I was just trying to get an idea of at what age, I guess, that they have their ability to have their say (can you tell I have no kids right now!) I have just always wanted to have a little girl and name her after my great grandmothers. Did I mention I am figuring a girl no older than 5, but I don't think I quite want an infant. Maybe I need a Dr Spock book hehehe

[torussiawithlove]

Hope this will help.

My parents came to this country from the Ukraine. My name is Tatiana. I did struggle with it a little as a child. As I grew older I did learn to appreciate it more and more. (when I did get tired of it I had people call me Tanya which is the American translation). I love my name and am very proud of it today. I am very thankful that my parents chose it.

[britfish]

[quote=deidra_mitchell00] but to change it completely, to me is sad. That is who they are and some day it could help them reconnect with their birth family. /QUOTE]


Often times in Russian the children are named by a staff member at the hospital or orphanage. The names often don't carry any birth family connection or meaning. I certainly wouldn't describe changing a child/infants name as "sad". JMO