[apoole]

My husband and I have finally made the decision to disrupt our adoption after trying to parent our twins for 5-1/2 years.

We have been struggling since the first night with them in Hotel Krasnoyarsk. We have tried therapy, drugs, and hypervigilant parenting. They have worn us down, and our family members have finally intervened this week to plead that we disrupt for our own sanity and marriage.

We have no idea what to do, how to do it, or what the implications may be.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, we have never officially finalized the adoption in the US. I guess subconsiously we knew that this day may come.

Can anyone offer us advice? How about camps that we can send them to (separately) over the summer so that we can collect ourselves and make some very important decisions.

[Katie63011]

I am so sorry for all that you have gone through. There was a post on Frua recently that talked about disrupting. I personally don't know anything about it, but I believe that there are some professionals that post on the board that might be able to assist you.

[amyfk]

Dear APoole

I have no idea about anything on disruption(we didnt even accept a referral yet). You may want to go to www.FRUA.org and look for the national or local chapter to talk to someone.

I just want to offer you a ((((HUG)))) for the very difficult time you must be going through. I'm sure that's not enough but we're thinking of you here.

Sincerely,
Amy K, New Jersey

[jkkclinton]

I am proud of your honesty and humbled by your ability to come on here and say that you need help. I applaud your efforts and will pray for you and your children...that you will all find a happy ending and that God will guide you to and give you a peace about the decision that you will make. I pray that your path will be blessed and that you will seek wisdom in all your decisions.

[aimeemk]

You should be able to contact your agency. I know our contract said something relating to this.

I am sorry you are having a difficult time.

Please keep us posted.

[leeinmemphis]

I'm so sorry to hear about this.... i know it must be a very hard decision. At a few points early on with our double adoption we had similar thoughts about one of our boys but we have struggled mightily i will admit and luckily it has worked out well.... but I remember thinking that maybe our agency would have helped us if it had come to that.. .is that an option?

alli

[BrandyHagz]

There are a couple of things you should be doing at this point.

1. Locate agencies out there that specialize in disrupted adoptions - they're out there, this happens more often than is discussed, sadly.

2. Find out what the laws are in your state regarding placing the kids in foster care, should you be unable to find a place for them in the private sector.


Lucyjoy, a member here, has adopted several children who were adopted from EE countries and disrupted after coming home. PM her and ask her if she has any information on resources available to you.

You may want to obtain an attorney to represent your rights - in this regard, because the adoption was completed in Russia, regardless of readoption status, you are considered the 'birthmom' in this type of situation. You will need to go through the process of finding the right parents for your children and terminating your parental rights.

Be very careful when reading the laws in your state - some states have very strict 'abandonment' laws for parents who willingly surrender their children to the state foster care system.

Do EVERYTHING in your power to keep that from happening...place these kids through private adoption if you can...in the end, it works better for all involved.

Like I said above, send Lucyjoy a PM and ask her what references she can give you on disruption of EE PI Children.

Good luck to you, your husband and the kids.

[amanda_p]

I have read your past posts and it seems that you have really done everything in your power. I really hope things work out for the best for your family. I am so sorry.

[LilyMoon]

I have also seen information posted on the FRUA chat about disruption of adoptions.

http://www.frua.org/chat_main.html

Try doing a search for disruption.
Good luck!

[GCS]

There is a camp in Wyoming that specializes in disruption of adoption for EE children. Google Ranch For Kids [Edited to remove the URL...also acts as an agency]
Karens adoption links also has a page on disruption in adoption. There are so many resources noted there. She does point out that the first step should be to
contact your agency. Here is the link to her site's disruption page as well.
http://www.karensadoptionlinks.com/disrupt.html

All the best. I can only imagine how hard this is for your family.

Christina

[Abdulina]

I pm you. So sorry.

[his,mine&ours]

Have you spoken to the professors at TCU? They have an amazing program that may be able to help you. It is Karyn Purvis. Here is an article about their program:

http://www.magazine.tcu.edu/articles...issueid=200601

If the link disappears, PM me. It is well worth the read.

Good luck to you with your decision.

[stayjay]

Talk to your agency. They will steer you in the right direction. My heart breaks for you. You will be in my thoughts, I am so sorry.

[DebiP]

While I am not famular with your situation I am wishing there was more I could do for your little ones and for you as you make this transition. I cant imagine the hearache you have gone through to get to this place.

Please contact your agency if you are still comfortable with them of follow the adivce here to get you and your little kids to a good or at least better place for everyones sake.

I would be willing to talk with my agency about working with a disrupted adoption if you want to talk to them please PM me.

Best to your kids and to you

[mikeintexas]

I know you've tried about everything and I'm so sorry it didn't work. Perhaps this is the best option. I'll be praying for you and your family tonight. Please keep us posted...
Mike