[SingleMama2B]

came home??? After your long emotional journey to finally bring your child/ren home, what was it that was your biggest surprise??? Could be Good... Could be Not so Good....

For me.....

The Biggest (good surprise) was how well and calmly DD transitioned! To this day (15 months home) she continually amazes me EVERYDAY!!!

The Biggest (Not so good surprise) was DEALING WITH THE SCHOOL SYSTEM/DISTRICT!!!! It truly amazes me on how I had to FIGHT them all year to finally get my DD what she needed. Takes Affect on monday (04/24/06). Yep, only took them 7 months to see what I was trying to tell them (and they didn't want to see or hear)!!!

Let's hear from you......

[kretzklan]

The biggest surprise on the GOOD front was how healthy they both were - we needed nothing more than glasses and immunizations.

The biggest surprise on the NOT SO GOOD front was how much more of a barrier language was...we're past it - but boy did I spend a few months of scary "I'm never going to be able to talk to my children" feelings!

[Vicki H]

I have one good , one bad.

The good first of course. The biggest surprise was how well Alex took to his new life. He adjusted very well, we still practiced attachment parenting, but he really had no problem.

The bad. I did not expect Post Adoption Depression at all. I felt like a bad parent since I was just so depressed all the time. I loved my son (and still do of course) , I was just very depressed and emotional.

Vicki

[tchr_678]

The biggest surprise for me was my boys ability to adapt. The resilience has amazed me. I'm truly insprired by their courage ...

[LilyMoon]

I was also surprised at how healthy my daughter was when we came home. Not a single medical issue.

My surprise on the not so good side was the difficulty she had adjusting initially. Boy, did we have a rough beginning! Fortunately, it did not last all that long. Within a few months we saw remarkable improvement and now she is just the most amazing kid!

[Animalcrackers]

The wonderful surprise was how healthy he was as was and how he adjusted to the time change immediately. We had absolutely no problems with him sleeping through the night when we got home. We were also pleasently surprised to find that he was actually developmentally ahead by nearly a year instead of developmentally delayed.

The difficult thing for me was a week after we got back, DH was sent for 7 weeks on a training for his new job to South Texas. This sent me into being a single parent (without transportation since we sold our car to complete the adoption) immediately after getting home. Made my adjustement to mommy hood difficult and lonely (although looking back now, I am thankful for the one on one time with my little guy). I also dealt with PADS and left it untreated for a very long time.

[dlhall]

For our first adoption, the biggest bad surprise was how much I missed my job and how difficult it was to be a SAHM (I love it now, but the transition was hard).

The biggest good surprise was how healthy she was and still is--she rarely ever gets sick. And how much I love her. I always heard that there was nothing as strong as a mother's love for her child, and I really believe it. I would die if anything happened to her.

For our second adopion, the biggest good surprise was how well my two children get along. I was really afraid that there would be a lot of jealousy and rebellion on my daughter's part--not at all! Also, I was surprised at how much I love having two kids!

As for the biggest bad surprise, I guess it would be how much work two kids is and how much different boys are then girls. Peter is so much more active than Natalya ever was--it really caught me off guard.

Liz

[MyHeartsDesire]

It also surprised me that Gavin never skipped a beat when he came home. He adapted to everything so easily. It didn't take him any time to act like everything had belonged to him forever.

My PAD also surprised me in a bad way. Didn't expect in any way at all. I felt bad about it.

Lisa

[Ktates]

For us the bad was how A wanted NOTHING to do with DH and would scream bloody murder when he came near her - surprised because she reallly cozied up to him during all our visits (including the weeks worth we had before we got custody of her).

The good was within a few weeks it was like she had always been here and we were all amazed at how she just seemed like the perfect fit for our family.

[emjay]

The good was how healthy and developmentally on target or ahead he was. He was and is such a happy little boy. Also that he and our DD took to each other right away.

The bad was that he didn't sleep well for a couple of months. Long periods of DH or I standing and rocking to get short periods of sleep. That and the 2-5 diaper blowouts per day. Led to one very tired, cranky set of parents. Lots of attachment parenting and then took him off dairy and wheat and our world changed for the better. Now no diaper problems and he sleeps like a champ. (Also, Ped is hopeful that his system was just a bit behind and that these won't be allergies but a temporary intolerance.)

[ATwinkleofHope]

I am with Ktates. Brianne did wonderfully with DH while in Russia, but once we got home she wanted nothing to do with him for a few months. Now she just loves her Daddy.

I was surprised at how eager she was to learn things, and how she didn't miss a beat with development. I really prepared myself for delays and took her for Intervention Eval. right away; however, she was right on task developmentally.

-Jo

- Gotcha day is Friday.... my Goodness where has the last year gone?

[proudmommyof 2]

The bad was what a huge adjustment it is to go from 0 kids to 1 kid. It was a shock, and I couldn't get my cleaning done, couldn't sit down and read. I hadn't realized how much work children were.

The good was how quickly and how deeply I fell in love wiht both boys. I didn't think I could feel that way about another person.

[justmp]

With DD the good: the greatest thing was that having her just seemed so natural and she was healthy, and happy, and adjusted really well.

The bad: Like some of the others, I had no idea just how all consuming having a child would be! I was exhausted and disorganized for months!

With DS the good: I fell so deeply, madly in love with him very quickly. (I wondered if I could ever love another child as much as I loved DD.)

The bad: DS came home with several health issues. None were very serious, but each of them required many doctor visits, treatments, etc. (I'm happy to say that after his being home for 9 months all of those things are finally behind us!)

[deere1]

Good: Was how EASY it was to adapt to parenthood after being married 14 years and being childless.

Bad: Having my position at work given to someone else while I was out on FMLA. Also, the co-workers who appeared so excited throughout the process barely speak to me upon my return to work.

[SingleMama2B]

Hi "DEERE1".... I understand what you mean by the co-workers before and after!!! I could never understand it myself. Though, I had both scenerios..... 100% for it, and then the others "Why are you doing that???" "Why not here in the good ole USA??"

Who knows why people are the way they are, but even my single friends/coworkers where happy for me, and sometimes more then the married ones??!! Go figure!!!

Sorry to hear about the job position!