[skiboo]

So, I was cruising the Internet and came across this t-shirt that has the following description:

"Mom Says You're Adopted" White T-Shirt
$17.99

"Almost everyone has been taunted and teased with this line - "Mom says you're adopted" Re-live the glory of the good ol' days when your siblings teased you with reckless abandon

I have attached the logo below...

This makes me so upset that someone would consider selling such an item and that people would buy it and think it is funny.

I am not sure if this makes me more mad or sad... blah.

[Javalita]

Some people are just dumb or just not thinking. Hopefully their sales will be low.

[angelkisses0102]

Grrrr!!! Anything to make a buck!

[Vicki H]

I would be lying if I said I never said that to my sisters, but we were kids.

That shirt is just wrong, incredibly insensitive.

[skiboo]

Originally Posted by FH-Vicki H

I would be lying if I said I never said that to my sisters, but we were kids.

Optimal word here being that you were a kid... not an adult who thinks it is still funny. Also, times were different back then... would anyone think it is funny to print a t-shirt with a racist comment to remind people of the "funny" things that were said before civil rights?

I guess I would just hate to think of any our of children encountering an adult wearing this t-shirt and then trying to explain to them how it is funny that the little boy in the car has a look of horror because he is being told he is adopted. We need a puke smilie.. it is what I feel like doing when I think about this shirt.

[Jim_in_PA]

I would hope that any of us meeting someone on the street wearing such a shirt would applaud them for being adopted and council them to be proud of it...it would make a strong point, I hope. Remember, right or wrong, we are all more sensitive on this subject for obvious reasons. And unfortunately, there are many, many examples of tee shirts and such that are even more objectionable.

[amyfk]

I think the logo on the shirt is tacky.

Like Jim says, we're a bit more sensitive as a group to adoption as a whole, but I still don't like the logo. I think that a lot of folks who arent affected by adoption in their lives tend to joke about "being adopted" etc.

Last week when I was at a wedding I was sitting next to a gal who had a twin sister. She commented that it seemed like her sister was "adopted" because she was so strange, and different than everyone else in the family. It annoyed the heck out of me that day.

Now as a week has gone by, I think folks just are insensitive or just dont think that what they say can actually be insulting to others.

Amy K, NJ

[bumblebeeskies]

I'm an adoptee. Should I as an adoptee, be even more offended, because they are joking about something that is my reality? I don't know, but I'm not. I actually think the shirt is funny and would probably wear it.


I think some pp's are going too far in their thinking. The shirt's not making fun of adoption. If anything, they are making a joke about the stupid stuff siblings say to each other. As for the little kid looking horrified by being told that he's adopted-You guys are getting the wrong message. The child is looking horrified by what he just heard; it's not like he's horrified over the subject of adoption.

Lighten up, it's just a crazy shirt!

[heartened]

Actually, I'm with you, bumblebee - not the least bit offended. I've teased friends of mine about their siblings - "Thank god you're nothing like them - are you sure you're not adopted?"

I've also referred to dear friends as my "adopted" brothers and sisters, and referred to their parents as my "adopted" mom and dad.

Then again, "being" adopted never actually bothered me. I'm bothered by WHO I was adopted by - my adoptive parents were horrific. I was bothered by not having my background, etc. But being adopted is just part of my life, part of my identity.

I have a number of friends who are deaf or blind - they make some of the worst "Helen Keller" jokes I've ever heard and love it if a seeing/hearing friend manages to find one they've never heard.

I'm not big on the double standard of being able to joke about my situation while demanding others refrain from doing the same.

Though I did find it amusing when I was brow beaten for making a "you must be adopted" crack to another friend in front of an adoptive parent in the store. She read me the riot act even after I said "I AM adopted, lady." Yeah, sorry - I'm the one these jokes are about. If I'm not going to get offended, who in the heck was she to tell me I "should" be offended?

[skiboo]

Thanks Heartened and Bumblebee for weighing in with a view from a different point of the adoption triad. I honestly think it is cool that you are both so comfortable with your identity and are able to find humor where others may not.

Perhaps it might seem a bit overboard to be offended by this shirt, but I think still it would be hard to explain to a child of 7 or 8 why the little boy looks so upset that he might be adopted. We as adults understand the nuances and intended tongue-in-cheek humor of this shirt, but I am pretty certain that an 8 year old still struggling with their identity might not get it, kwim?

I am actually not one who is easily offended. I understand that a lot of times people ask me questions about Alex that are unintentionally insenstive and with one exception I have never let these comments bother me. Yesterday, however, this shirt struck the wrong chord with me.

I would be interested to hear more viewpoints on this shirt from other adoptees. Maybe I am over-reacting...

[Shoshana]

It doesn't bother me either!

There are other cases when the appropriation of adoption terminology does irritate me. One example is the department store "nursery" with cute little blond baby dolls in cribs ready to be selected by their new parents - the doll comes complete with adoption papers. I think scenarios like that contribute to misperceptions about adoption and can easily be misconstrued by young children - the target audience.

[kretzklan]

I don't know why - but even as a recent AP - I'm not the least bit offended by any of this. I think that the majority of us will be raising our children with the stories of their adoptions (mine for sure, they are too old to hide anything) and the word should not hold negative connotations. Having an 8 yo not understand why the child looks horrified...if the child has siblings it could be explained, or he's just scared like you are when your brother says "XXXX"...Just my two cents...I think it's all in the way mom and dad handle it...

[skiboo]

Originally Posted by Shoshana

There are other cases when the appropriation of adoption terminology does irritate me. One example is the department store "nursery" with cute little blond baby dolls in cribs ready to be selected by their new parents - the doll comes complete with adoption papers. I think scenarios like that contribute to misperceptions about adoption and can easily be misconstrued by young children - the target audience.

See, now that doesn't bother me so much... in fact, my 8 year old niece really wanted a cabbage patch doll this year for Christmas even though she was a bit old for one. Why? Because she is so in love with Alex and wanted to have a baby to adopt too. She talks all the time now about wanting to adopt.

[stephdpenn]

Even though I do not have my dd home from China yet I wanted to chime in here.

This is sort of how I see it, as adoptive parents we have to choose our battles. Meaning we are going to be faced with much worse things than a t-shirt. I am not offened by it and even though I am not adopted myself I was raised by a wonderful dad who is not my bio father. I learned a long time ago from being a parent to 2 bio sons that some things are just not worth my energy getting upset about.

[MamaTo6]

I am not offended either. I think its tacky and I wouldnt wear it or buy it, but I do see where some people might think it is humorous.

To each their own.