[tigger44]

We have been home with our 18 month old for a little over six months now. She seems to be developing strong attachment skills, but I also know we need several more months of time before her attachment is solidified.

Since the first day we took custody of her, she has been very flirty, with most anyone. I've been working with her about this behavior when we are out in public, and just recently started using a different style baby carrier that allows me to hold her facing me, chest to chest (as opposed to the hip carrier), so this has reduced her interaction with other people. It has helped a lot!

My challenge is when we have family members come over for a visit. DD will first show appropriate shyness and cling to me or her daddy. But after a few minutes of sizing up the guest, she will reach to be held by the guest. She will then start to gesture and point and manipulate the guest to take her over to a picture on the wall to look at, to hand her an object that has been purposefully placed out of her reach (and she knows this), to read her a book, to do anything she thinks she can manipulate them into doing for her. If she finds that her behavior is working, or that she is getting a reaction from someone, she will turn up the volume, making squishy, adorable faces, giggling, she will start to cuddle, hug, snuggle, tickle, or whatever is generally flirty with the guest. If we are eating food with our guests, and DD is running around playing, she will cozy up to the guest, or reach to be picked up by the guest, to share their food. We have strictly limited anyone else from feeding, comforting, or nurturing her.

We gave all of our family members some information about her behavior and instructed them how to respond to her. I'll admit that I've expected our family members to remember our written instructions when our daughter is interacting with them, rather than speak up at that moment and remind them of the rules. We have the most problem with my husband's parents. They just eat up this behavior, thinking that it is adorable and that it is only for them. Our daughter behaves this way with EVERYONE who visits. And, the family members who visit only come once every two to three weeks, including my husbands parents. These are not people that she sees often, or knows well.

Also, when we go to church, if people sitting around us start to pay close attention to her, she flirts with them during the entire service.

The counselor from my adoption agency agreed that if it felt inappropriate to me that it is probably left over behavior learned in the baby home. I struggle to find the balance though. Maybe she is just an affectionate baby? She seems very outgoing and friendly, but also shows appropriate stranger anxiety at times too. When we do have guests, DD will return to me or her daddy to play or if she needs something. But, also, after the guests leave, she will start testing the limits again, and almost seem disgusted that I am enforcing the boundaries again. She is a child who needs to have the boundaries clearly defined for her. She also seems to briefly disregard me if I don't respond to her cutesiness/flirtiness. Fortunately, I can quickly reign her back in though.

Should I ease up and just let her interact this way and see what becomes of it, or should I keep limiting guests to picking her up only once, sitting her down immediately if she starts her manipulating or cuddling behavior? I worry about this, but being a first time mother, I don't know how much could be normal, FOR HER, and how much could still be left over learned institutional behaviors, especially since she seems to be developing very good attachment skills with her daddy and me. When we are visiting other family member's home, DD does not behave quite this same way. She is too interesting in finding new things to get into and play with!

Any suggestions/opinions/advice? Thanks!

[angelkisses0102]

In all of my reading on attachment disorders in infants and toddlers, these are both huge red flags. Manipulation is a key behavior as is being the center of attention. If I have never sent you my links, let me know I will email them to you. In terms of attachment and bonding...6 months is a very short amount of time...she has still spent the better part of her life without a loving parent or family structure. (Didn't you also post about her not wanting to sleep...control is another key red flag...by not napping she IS controlling you and the situation.)

Many will disagree with this, but limit (or eliminate) her interactions with anyone else until the behavior is gone. Completely restrict her from those who do not follow the rules.

You took the time to post this, it is something that is bothering you on a gut level...trust your gut. Almost without fail, every time someone poses these sorts of questions, they already 'know' what the answer is. It is a hard thing to admit but you did not cause her issues...but you are her only life line to having normal & healthy relationships for the rest of her life.

My best advice is take this challenge on now...trust me on this one...the sooner you address and correct and heal her...the better off you will all be.

Use this for what it is worth to you...but I have been there and done that...in regard to attachment struggles and disorders.
***ETA***
Attachment parent, attachment, attachment parent...and then attachment parent her some more.***

[angelkisses0102]

This is from www.attach-china.org and www.radzebra.org is another great resource. Click on each description for more detail...***ETA***Also, try posting this one the special needs section of the forums...they are very familiar with attachment struggles and solutions.****

Symptoms and Potential Causes

1. Reciprocal Relationships
   1. Disturbances in physical contact/connection with parents
      1. Resists or dislikes being held
      2. Stiffens or becomes rigid when held
      3. Prefers being held with back towards mother
      4. Does not hold on when held (no reciprocal holding)
      5. When held chest to chest, faces away
      6. Cries or rages when held beyond wishes
      7. Gets in and out of parents lap frequently (never settling in)
      8. Likes playpen or crib more than being held
      9. Does not return or reciprocate hugs (remains limp or stiffens up, turns away)
   2. Disturbances in emotional connection with parents
      
      1. Resists comforting or nurturance
      2. Poor eye contact or avoids eye contact
      3. Does not return smiles
      4. Shows very little imitative behavior
      5. Generally unresponsive to parent
      6. Reaches for others to hold her rather than parent
      7. Not affectionate on parent's terms (when parents ask for affection)
      8. Prefers dad to mom
      9. Unable to give and receive love
      10. Inappropriately demanding and clingy
      11. In infants, wants to hold the bottle as soon as possible
   3. Disturbances in relationships in general
      
      1. Lack of or unstable peer relationships
      2. Mistrustful of / lacks trust in others
      3. Exploitative, manipulative, controlling, bossy
      4. Inability to feel empathy towards others*
      5. Need to always be in control*
      6. Superficially engaging and charming
      7. Indiscriminately affectionate with strangers
2. Affect
   
   1. Flat, lifeless affect (too quiet) / inability to show emotions
   2. Frequently sad, depressed or helpless
   3. Intense displays of anger (rage)
   4. Inappropriate emotional responses -- e.g. laughing when people get shot on TV
   5. Extreme fright at unexpected or unusual triggers
   6. Marked mood changes
   7. "Abnormal" crying in infancy
      1. Cries/miserable all the time; chronically fussy
      2. Rarely cries (overly good baby)
      3. Child's cries sound the same regardless of cause, i.e., cries for food, discomfort, pain, anger, sadness, rage all sound the same
      4. Angry or rageful when cries
3. Behavior
   
   1. Difficulty with change or transitions
   2. Lack of impulse control
   3. Consistently irresponsible
   4. Hyperactive
   5. Persistent nonsense questions and incessant chatter
   6. Self destructive behavior
   7. Difficulty with saying good-byes*
   8. Autistic-like behaviors*
   9. Conceals knowledge/skills/abilities*
   10. Accident prone
   11. Poor hygiene
   12. Victimized by others -- i.e. sets self up
   13. Blames others for own mistakes and problems
   14. Enuresis and encopresis - e.g. refusing to use toilet, smearing poop, wetting or pooping in pants to express anger
   15. Inappropriate sexual conduct and attitudes
   16. "Antisocial" behaviors
       1. Aggression / violence toward others
       2. Steals
       3. Deceitful (lying, conning)
       4. Cruelty to animals
       5. Frequently defies rules (oppositional)
       6. Preoccupation with fire gore or evil
       7. Victimizes others (perpetrator, bully)
4. Development
   
   1. Little or reduced verbal responsiveness in infants
   2. Lack of cause and effect thinking
   3. Learning disorders
   4. Language disorders
5. Sleeping
   
   1. Physically restless when sleeping
   2. Difficulty falling asleep / fear of falling asleep* / extreme bed-avoidance behaviors*
   3. Talking in sleep
   4. Night wandering
   5. Frequent nightmares and/or night terrors*
   6. Clings to parent when asleep / can't be put down without waking*
6. Eating
   
   1. Hoards food
   2. Continuous eating / doesn't know when to stop eating*
   3. Refuses to eat*
   4. Abnormal eating habits -- e.g. eats slowly one day, gulps the next
   5. Uses eating/appetite to control parents (asks for tuna, then says "I hate tuna, or I'm not hungry"
7. Play
   
   1. Overly independent play in infants or toddlers / makes no demands
   2. Overly controlling play* Does not accept direction/suggestions from playmates
   3. Disorganized or repetitive play*
   4. Games with abandonment themes*
   5. Aggression towards toys*
   6. Inability to "bond" with any toy*
   7. Cannot play by themself, needs constant direction/supervision or demands constant interaction
8. Self-concept
   
   1. Perceives self as a victim (helpless)
   2. Grandiose sense of self-importance
   3. Perceives self as bad and not worthy of loving
9. Physiological
   
   1. Chronic body tension
   2. High pain tolerance/overreaction to minor injury
   3. Tactilely defensive -- can't tolerate light touch
   4. Seldom gets sick*
   5. Prone to "autoimmune" type conditions*

[Javalita]

Originally Posted by tigger44

She will then start to gesture and point and manipulate the guest to take her over to a picture on the wall to look at, to hand her an object that has been purposefully placed out of her reach (and she knows this), to read her a book, to do anything she thinks she can manipulate them into doing for her.

Tigger, I don't have any advise for you since I have some challenges myself w/my DS. But one of your statements (above) touches on something I've been thinking about a lot. I hope you don't mind me tagging onto that a bit....

My son does this exact same thing. Pictures on the wall, books, etc. With the books, I am of two minds on it and not sure what to think. Hoping to get your opinion and others on this. Our DS will sit with us and point to pictures in books for 30-45 minutes and want us to name everything. He wants to only do this and I am usually very happy to do so. I think it is a good thing and seems like a normal toddler thing. But then sometimes I feel like maybe it is just to point and watch us respond as he demands...like manipulation. So how do you feel about it? I don't want to deny him learning, but I don't want to feed manipulation either........

[karenmarq]

I don't have any answers for you, but reading this over made me think of a close friend and roommate I had as an adult.

She was an extremely "flirty" person, and I had to talk with her more than once about this. Apparently she was like this from when she was little.

No adoption involved, but it does make you wonder if that is just some people's (girls?) personalities.

Karen

[tchr_678]

Could this maybe be some kids personalities? I mean, I know I've sat in a restaurant or church before and communicated with a young child before -- goofy eyes, funny faces, etc. I don't think it necessarily means attachment -- but I'm new at all of this too. It just seems to me that some kids/people can be outgoing, whereas others are more reserved. JMHO ...

[angelkisses0102]

Originally Posted by tchr_678

Could this maybe be some kids personalities? I mean, I know I've sat in a restaurant or church before and communicated with a young child before -- goofy eyes, funny faces, etc. I don't think it necessarily means attachment -- but I'm new at all of this too. It just seems to me that some kids/people can be outgoing, whereas others are more reserved. JMHO ...

One red flag maybe, two red flags concern, three red flags...probably attachment or PI behavior...remember our kids are not like the college roommate who was not adopted from an orphanage...these kids did not have what would a 'normal infancy or toddlerhood...where as the college roommate was most likely not raised in an orphange. Of course, not all kids will have an attachment struggle or full-fledged attachment disorder that were raised in an institutional setting. I have one of each...

The description of Tigger's little girl made me think of my first real interaction with a PI child while we were in Moscow for Arianna...the little girl was with her Mom and Dad...who she had been with for a couple of weeks waiting out the Moscow City adoption wait at that time...she just looked at me and smiled and put her arms up for me to hold her...the hurt in the mom's eyes I'll never forget...but she gently took her into her arms and told her no.

What if we said this was a differnt health condition, like diabetes? Would the resistance to accept it be the same or would we say...oh, she has diabetes, let's treat it? Attachment is a 'health condition'...is NO different than any other diagnoses.

I personally would err on the side of caution...and assume it is attachment related...to use the word 'manipulation' in the thread title and several times through the post suggests it is more...plus the social worker agrees it is PI related...

One more thing...here are some great ideas on how to promote attachment...nothing hard or scary about these 'normal' activities...this is also from attach-china...
These are suggestions from therapists and parents

1. Wear infant in a chest carrier, all day if possible, facing IN.
2. Mom should initially be the only person who is meeting the baby's needs. Baby needs to build a bond with one person first, then she can branch out to others.
3. Bathe together, to promote skin to skin contact. Baby & Mom can wear the same lotion so baby associates scent with mom.
4. If you use cologne (or if you don't, use your shampoo), place a tiny bit on her arm so she has your smell with her at all times.
5. Laminate loving family pictures of you together and put around her crib and other places.
6. Outline her body, as well as your own on huge sheets of newsprint. Color them (great activity). Tape the "portraits" to her ceiling.
7. When feeding her something she particularly likes, tell her you are a good mommy/daddy. Telling her with words that you are a good mommy is important -- otherwise, how would she know?!
8. Play with dolls to act out how parents always return after child goes to day care, babysitter, bed, etc.
9. Draw cartoon panels of the day's routine, so that your child can see that Mom and Child always come back to the same home together. Anxiety and stress can interfere with auditory processing, so it is important to use something visual that can be held in the hand.
10. Give your child a laminated picture of the family to carry with her all the time.
11. Limit choices. At first parents should make all decisions, including foods, toys and clothes. This helps the child feel safe. Then as the child becomes accustomed to the new family, limited choices can be given, e.g. a choice between 2 foods.
12. Dress alike. Wear the same colors, type of outfit, accessories, hairstyle, etc. and point out how you look alike.
13. Claim your child. Tell her she belongs to you. Give her a big hug and say "MINE!" Make up songs about your family, e.g.:
    I am your Mom
    You're my sweet girl
    Just like a pearl
    so rare and precious
    You are mine
    and I am yours
    'Cause together we're a family.

Encourage Eye Contact

"Look in my eyes. Don't look away" - Mr. Soil from Bug's Life

1. Bottle feed no matter what the age. Encourage eye contact by gently touching her cheek. DO NOT let her hold the bottle. Nourishment has to come from parent(s); be sure to hold her when feeding.
2. If she turns away (avoiding eye contact) try placing a large mirror accross from you. That way, when she turns away, she will see herself in your embrace.
3. Continue to hold her in your gaze. It may take a long time for her to glance at you. When she finally does, be ready with a warm, loving, approving smile. This sounds little, but is really big and pays big rewards in our experience.
4. Encourage eye contact by gently tapping the bridge of her nose and yours as a hand-signal to look at you.
5. Stroke her cheek.
6. Put her hands on your cheeks. Children's eyes often go where their hands are.
7. Play Peek-a boo. This develops the concept of object permanence (that even if you can't see something, it's still there). For kids who are still anxious about Mommy leaving, repeat "Where's the Baby? Here's the Baby! Where's Mommy? Here's Mommy! Mommy goes to work, Mommy comes home!" to emphasize the message that Mommy always comes back.
8. Have baby pull a sticker off your nose - and put it back.
9. Wear a stick-on dot or earring as a "beauty mark."
10. Stare into each other's eyes. If your child can keep eye contact for 20 seconds, feed her a chocolate kiss or candy heart. Increase the amount of time.
11. MUSICAL NOSE - Sing a song and let your child pinch your nose so you sound very silly. You stop singing if she breaks eye contact.
12. MUSICAL SWING - put child in baby swing. Face her as you push. Encourage eye contact by singing a song, and stopping if she looks away.
13. Fill your cheeks with air. Have child "pop" them.
14. Take turns feeding each other. This works great with raisins, cheerios, and popcorn.
15. Eskimo kisses - rub noses and stare into each others eyes.
16. Play in front of a mirror. Make faces, paint Mommy's face, trace each other's faces on the mirror with washable marker, finger paint with shaving cream. Let your child be your puppet and make her dance. Make dolls dance. Any kind of game that gets your child to relax and meet your eyes in the mirror, will likely get her relaxed enough to meet your eyes directly.
17. Instead of using an actual mirror, take turns being each other's mirror. Sit face to face, and have your child imitate every facial movement you make, and vice versa. Then try it with your whole body, mirroring each other's movements.
18. For an older child, try lipreading with each other. While you're not really getting eye contact, you're at least looking at each other's faces.

Games which Encourage Attachment

1. Play hide and seek (also develops object permanence).
2. Play catch! Roll a ball back and forth (teaches reciprocity). Throwing or batting a balloon back and forth may be easier than throwing a ball for little ones.
3. Hold baby in your arms and dance with her. A very synchronous activity.
4. Swim together.
5. Paint each others faces with paint, power, or just pretend.
6. Put lotion on each other.
7. A Memory game but with a more personal touch: Have your child look you over very carefully. Then leave the room and return after you've changed something about yourself. See if she can figure out what is different. It could be something really obvious for younger kids, like taking off a sweater, but for older kids you could get more challenging, like buttoning one more button on the sweater.
8. Guess the Goodies: Put several small treats in a bag or cup. child closes their eyes. You pop a treat in their mouth and they try to guess what it is.
9. Tunnels: Parents kneel on floor forming a tunnel. Child crawls through the tunnel as fast as they can before the tunnel collapses. first few times let child get completely through, then have it gently collapse onto child.
10. Pillow ride: have child sit on big floor pillow and you drag them around the room. You only move when given eye contact.
11. M&M hockey: Use bendy straws and blow candy across table to other persons goal. When you score a goal, the opponent feeds you the candy.
12. Marshmallow fight: Each person uses a pillow as a shield. Sit on the floor and throw marshmallows at each other. Gets wild and crazy and is a lot of fun. Can do the same with crumpled paper.
13. Crawling into arms: Child starts in corner of room. Cannot start until adult says go. Start by saying "lo", "mo" etc. instead of "go" to help child learn to attend better. Then child crawls across room as fast as they can to you. You are standing on other side of room and make a large circle with arms. Child needs to stand up in the circle. gradually reduce the size of the circle and gets a big reward of kisses hugs and/or a treat.
14. Jumping across pillows to arms: set up pillow islands in a pattern across floor. Child starts at one end, you are at the other. Child starts when you direct them to as noted above. Child jumps across the islands and into your arms.
    Finding goodies. Hide candies on yourself and child needs to find them.
15. Donut Dare: You hold a donut on your finger through the hole and the child sees how many bites they can take before it falls off.
16. Lifesavers on Licorice String: Put each end of shoestring licorice in yours and childs mouth (helps to tie a knot so that it stays in mouth better). Have a gummy lifesaver on the string. By standing up and maneuvering without hands, feed the lifesavers to each other.

Circle of Love

My daughter is 4, and for a long time didn't quite "get" who she could be affectionate with, and who deserved a handshake or less. We took a long sheet of paper (therapist suggestion) and drew a big heart on one end and drew pictures of our immediate family within it. This was "our family circle of love", and we discussed how we can always act lovingly toward anyone in our immediate family circle (*HINT* draw your daughter's birthmother in there too! I didn't think of it and it came back at me later!). Then, in smaller descending hearts we drew extended family, then friends, then doctors, mail carriers, casual babysitters etc. We talked about appropriate behavior for her toward each group, practiced scenarios, and I also gave her permission to NOT hug or kiss anyone outside her immediate family.

What I had been thinking was totally an attachment issue really turned out to be, for us, a missed-rung on the post-institutional developmental ladder...the mural idea gave us lots to discuss, and very much helped her behaviors.

Sensory Activities

Mouth - to improve speech

1. Lots of bubble blowing.
2. Drinking with a straw, especially thick milkshakes.
3. Whistle blowing (I know, it can become irritating to mom real fast).
4. Party blowers -- the ones that un-curl and then curl back up again.
5. Provide different kinds of textures to move around -- both with his tongue and with his hands: baby peas, rice, couscous, puddings, jello. Paint a plate with chocolate pudding and then eating it off the plate and hands is fun -- although you might want to try a colored plate and vanilla pudding if your child is under two.
6. Wake up his taste buds -- sour candies like Sweet Tarts, chili, pepper, mustard, paprika, pickles -- anything with vinegar. Learning the sour taste is especially important.
7. Tapping very lightly above the upper lip above the gum line--but NOT on the midline.
8. Making "mouth music."
9. Tear tissue in small pieces or strips and blow it across the table top.

Tactile - Loubee, Dobee Time

One mom uses Creamy Style Vaseline, and makes lotion time an attachment activity time with these games:

1. Pass the lotion. Get lots of lotion on your hand and let your daughter try to get all of it off, and then pass it back and forth.
2. Slippy hands. After lotioning pretend to hold on tight to each others' hands and then "whoops" slip off backwards with lots of exageration and laughter.
3. Hand Stacking. Place your hand on the bottom, then one of your daughters, then yours, then your daughters. Slip your bottom hand out and put it on top. Just keep on going to "build the stack".
4. Lotion painting. Paint pictures on eack other and then rub them in and start over.

[proudmommyof 2]

Hi, angelkisses!

I was going to PM this to you, but thought maybe others were experiencing this as well.

I read your posts quite frequently, and you have even given me some advice on past issues that I've appreciated.

I've read your posts and all of the symptoms of attachment disorders, over and over. Tommy only shows one-indiscriminate affection. If I am with him, he will go to his PT and OT for hugs and to be held. Fine, he knows them pretty well. The other day though, we had an ST come to the house and meet him for the first time. He went right to her for hugs and to be held.

He won't do this in public, and won't go to anyone if he thinks I may wander away. Even at friends' houses, he stays with me and really won't go to others. This just worried me. How worried should I be? He is affectionate with us, makes eye contact, interacts with us and with his brother in just the way I would expect him to.

I talked to dh about this, who said that I worried about the same thing with Dennis and that I just like to worry-I'll get to that in a separate thread shortly. I guess my question is-at what point do we worry?

Any input from anyone would be great!

[deere1]

Our son in the beginning seemed to have no fear of strangers. If he were at a park he'd reach out to strangers to have them put him on a slide, etc. It sort of scared me in the beginning how he'd smile and appear to flirt with strangers. He has outgrown the stage and in new situations is now bashful.

[Lorraine123]

Should I ease up and just let her interact this way and see what becomes of it,

Absolutely not. The behavior you are desribing screams of attachment issues to me. Your child needs to learn that you are the source of cuddling, loving, kisses, hugs. You need to teach that. Institutionalized children never learned that one person is a caregiver. They manipulate and control through charm to get what they want from others. You need to establish yourself as the parent. Angelkisses posted a list of activities that you can do. Read them over and DO THEM. Its imperative that your child learn that you are the parent, not others. By letting her interact this way with others, you are actually harming her. It is very unhealthy.

My daughter has reactive attachment disorder and it is hell to live with. Don't take a chance. By doing strict attachment parenting for a while, you will avoid this. True, it may be her personality, but do you want to risk it? My daughter will never attach to anyone. She doesn't have the ability. Please don't give your daughter this possibility. It gets harder as they get older.

[mschweber]

Originally Posted by tchr_678

Could this maybe be some kids personalities? I mean, I know I've sat in a restaurant or church before and communicated with a young child before -- goofy eyes, funny faces, etc. I don't think it necessarily means attachment -- but I'm new at all of this too. It just seems to me that some kids/people can be outgoing, whereas others are more reserved. JMHO ...

This is something I have wanted to mention for a while. Often people (and I have been guilty of this before myself) will say: well, some kids who were not adopted do the same thing so I should not be concerned about attachment issues. And yes it is true and yes there is a range of behaviors but how do you know that the child who was not adopted had good parents who properly fosted attachment? The act of being born into the family with which you live is in itself not enough to foster attachment. I can attest to that personally. My father was verbally abusive and my mother was cold and distant (at least partially as a result of the abuse she herself suffered). Knowing what I know now I can see that I have struggled thoughout my life with attachment related issues. Also, if you have ever watched Nanny 911 or Supernanny and analyze it you will see that in almost every case the root of the problems is parents who are not working hard enough to foster attachment with their children.

So yes, those who have adopted children who are not newborns have a period of institutionalization that they need to make up for but we should not think of attachment parenting as something we just do for our children. Attachment parenting is something all parents must do for all children. Those who have their children from birth just have to opportunity to get a bit of a head start but if they do not do it their children are not somehow immune from attachment problems. Looking at it this was removes the stigma I sometimes sense people have over the concept of attachement parenting for post institutionalized children.

[aimeemk]

THis question is for Karen.

I am now a little concerned as my daughter is showing some of those listed on the list. She has fear of some strangers but not all. She is discriminate on some strangers, but will go to some without any problems.

We do not use childcare at this time. When her dad leaves she gets a little upset, but calms quickly. There have been few times when she cries over me leaving. I rarely leave though. We go to playdates and she interacts well with other children. She can leave the playdates without crying.

She is flirty with some strangers but not all.

My parents are not in the best shape, so we have let her bond with them too. She loves them and gets very upset when they leave. Also, she wants nothing to do with me when they are around.

We had to have a baby sitter once. SHe regressed and took about a week to catch up.

She does show lots of signs of positive attatchment.

She
imitates me non-stop.
gives hugs without being asked, and lets us love on her.
goes to sleep without any crying, naps well. she says night night and goes to sleep.

she cuddles
her language is beyond a 21month old and has even started sentences.
she tell me she loves me
plays well with her babies, feeding, cuddling and rocking them.

she is currently potty training and doing well with that.


We implement many of the attatchment strategies. My mom has raised six children of her own. 1 with a disability that causes attatchment problems. So she does know some things. She does not seem to think Rheagan is displaying any of the signs my sister showed.
I am continuously watching and observing and trying nip anything I see as an attatchment disorder.
My question is should I be more concerned. I am currently looking for specialist in the Austin area to have her evaluated.

Oh she has been home since April of last year.

would you mind pm'ing the links you have?

thanks in advance,