[znd]

I'm so sorry for your little guy. No words of wisdom to offer. You will be in my prayers.

Jennifer

[emjay]

Poor Alex! I cannot offer much more than the ideas here, but wanted to lend my support and prayers that all goes well. Just stay with him as much as possible (and then some!!). Hope he has a quick recovery and no major attachment setbacks.

- Maura

[Jim_in_PA]

Oy...it just gets more interesting for you it seems. You (and Alex) will get through this!! (And make sure you have some ice cream, too... chocolate...)

[toria]

Have you ever tried Chiropractic care? My husband and I are both chiropractors and treat alot of children with many (and similar) problems. Alot of times (not all) it keeps them from having to take medicine and have surgery. We always say, try non-invasive measures first. If not successful, then the alternative. Surgery in my book is last resort. Try everything else first. Best wishes, hope your little one gets better quick!!!! Let me know if i can help

[mikeintexas]

Karen - I have no advice, but I'm confident that if there is any person in the world who can handle this, it is you. Mike

[GCS]

Oh Karen,
I am so sorry to hear this!

Sam didnt have to stay the night at the hospital when he was operated on - he was only there about 6 hours total. He was more upset about the IV than anything else.
All I can say is make sure you have Arianna all set at home with family or friends so that you and DH can both be there.
I think going in advance to the hospital to familarize him is a good idea, but I personally subscribe to the don't tell them much in advance theory so he wont be focusing on it and getting himself all worked up. Sam didn't even know English yet so he had no idea what he was getting into. In a way it was better this way. Ask your doctor. They do this all the time and can advise you better than anyone.
You and Alex will be in our thoughts. Please let us know how everything goes!

Christina

[Remmy]

Hi,

Our son Noah just had his Adnoids removed and his Tonsils "reduced" in November. He also had a hernia reapair, circumcision, and something similar to a hyspadius reapair. He was 23 months at the time, and home for almost a year.

Not trying to scare you, but the toughest part was the tonsils, adnoids. However, by the time we left the hospital, he was acting almost like himself again already. He had to stay overnight, and almost stayed another night because he wasn't eating at first. But we got to go home, and we actually had an "ok" experience overall. My husband stayed overnight with him at the hospital, and it really helped them bonding-wise. He had been more attached to me, and after the hospital stay it has been more even.

One other nice side effect, Noah is SO much happier now. I really think he was uncomfortable because his tonsils were so HUGE. He was snoring, and tossing and turning, and he had some food issues. Now the snoring and restlessness are gone, and he is SO, SO much better with food. His whole disposition is better in my opinion.

It was tuff to see him so weak the first day, but the second day we were able to take him to the play area on our floor so he could play with his sister.

So, try not worry too much. You have to do it, so just try to make it as easy on him as possible. Plus there are many, many people who will be praying and thinking of him.

Take care, and good luck to you.

Renae

[Shoshana]

Hi Karen:

I'm right behind you. Xiomara sailed through the tube insertion today -- she's had 7 ear infections in 5 months and a 10 decibel loss of hearing in each ear. Her tonsils are huge and she sounds like a motor boat when she's sleeping. I don't think she has sleep apnea yet.

The ENT and her pediatrician said she's too young to have her tonsils out. Isn't Alex the same age as Xiomy?

I loved the advice you got on the prior page (can't remember the poster's name, she sounded like a medical professional).

I don't have any words of wisdom for you, only support. I know it will be tough on both of you. I also know you're strong and you and Alex will get through this together.

Best,

[skiboo]

No words of advice as I have not BTDT (been there, done that)... but I did want to give a hug and some support. I hope all goes smoothly and that the tubes and any other surgery helps Alex feel better.

[mycodybear]

Poor little Alex! I'm so sorry he has to go through this- it totally sucks. I'll be keeping you guys in my thoughts and prayers that he has a quick recovery and his attachment progress doesn't suffer. I know you guys will be fine because you're such a great, loving mom!

[cfreeze]

Hi Karen,

I've rarely (if ever?) posted...I'm new & we're awaiting a referral, but I lurk lots and your insights have always helped me...so maybe I can return the favor and offer some thoughts.

Our sons were adopted at birth, so the attachment issues were not as much of an added stress as what you and Alex will be facing with this surgery. With one son we've done tubes (I'll skip that advice b/c you know the routine), and with our other son we JUST did the tonsil/adnoid surgery 2 months ago (he had just turned 3.)

First the good news, pre surgery: our son sounded like Darth Vader when he slept. Post surgery: I have to put my hand on his back to ensure that he's still breathing...I'm telling you, he's SILENT. Pre surgery: major sleep apnea...bad sleeping & he was up 3-4 times per night many times (my husband & I were going crazy from lack of sleep!) Post surgery: almost NEVER wakes up, unless he needs to go to the bathroom.

Now, the bad news: some kids react STRONGLY to the anaesthetic...ours did. The nurse described the waking up process from surgery as a "bad acid trip." Well, ever seen the criminals on the show COPS who take PCP and get super-human strength and have to be restrained by 4 or 5 officers? That was our son. I was FREAKING OUT when he woke up! Hopefully, Alex won't have this reaction, but nobody had prepared me for it and it was really frightening (the good news, or at least the nurses/doctors told me this to lighten my burden...supposedly the child will not have memory of this horrid scene.) I agree with the poster who said to have both parents there.

Helpful tips for preparation, many of which previous posters mentioned:

1. At this age, don't start the info to Alex too soon...a few days prior will help him enough

2. ROLE PLAY: both my sons took part & still love this game. We bought a book called something like "So, you're going to the hospital." After we'd read the book, we'd pretend to do a surgery & take turns being the patients/doctor. I'd pretend to be the doctor and/or nurse & pretend to dress him in a gown, give him some "funny gas" to make him sleepy and pretend to take out his tonsils and then wake him up and we'd pretend to have a sore throat and eat some ice cream or pudding. We still play this game & they think it's hilarious. I even taught them to say things like: "Give me the funny gas, STAT!"

3. Yes, STAY WITH HIM until he's "under." The nurses AND doctor thought I was an over-protective freak of a mom, and acted like it was a huge inconvenience for me to walk in the O.R.. I just smiled while they were debating whether or not I could go inside and sweetly said, "Thanks for your understanding. Do I need to put on a cap first, or can I just walk in?"

4. I found a GREAT blog/website while surfing for info on this subject, and we would look at it leading up to the surgery. It's a little girl's true story/photos of having her tonsils out (I realized from the photos that she was adopted from China, neat side note.) It's http://home.comcast.net/~lpeto/tonsils/

5. Really stress that Alex is NOT going to the hospital due to ANYTHING he may have done. Many kids think it's a form of punishment.

6. The 1st couple of days after were okay, but things then got HARDER for a few days. I hate to say this, but it was probably Day #11 before he really seemed better. The voice took awhile to normalize, but now things are WONDERFUL!

Okay, this LONG post has rambled enough! Good luck!

Carrie

[RBSVARCHER]

Hey,

It looks like we are following your same route. David had his CT scan last Thursday - results tomorrow (Feb 2) to see if tonsils & adnoids come out and how many pollups are in his nostrils and to see if he has chronic sinus problems.

David has snored since day one - and been sick too many times to count.

The best way to look at our situation is this - God gave us our children because He knew we would do whatever it took to keep them well - and that's what we will do!
The children will be better in the long run and are getting 150% better care than where they were. Remember "What does not kill me - only makes me stronger"

Just make sure you talk to him about what is going to happen - explain as much as you think he can handle. Hold his hand and reassure him you are there with him. Try to make sure the IV is not put in his hand until something is given to sedate him by liquid (sort of a don't care syrup) so he won't remember the pain of the IV as vivid.

The parents I've spoken with who's children have had this same surgery done lately say it was not as bad a surgery as we are told and their children were better almost immediately and have not been sick since the surgery.

David's circumcision & tongue clipping was done as one surgery and we only had him home with us for 6 months - he did fine with no attachment issues.

Hang in there - let your mommy instincts kick in and you will be fine!!

Susan
Bham AL

[Abdulina]

Karen,

Couple of things. First, kids recover remarkably fast from the tonsil and aenoid surgery. Took me 3 weeks to recover at age 27 and took my son at age 4 or 5 (can't remember) only 2 days to recover! The healing will go quickly. Now, as for attachment. Here's what I did on Dec. 20th when Bojan got his surgery. I explained his horrific fears of being left alone at the hospital as they did to him at the orphanage. Kind of took him there, dropped him off, etc. I explained everything in detail of how it is CRITICAL to his wellbeing that I been there immediately upon waking up. This usually isn't done. They usually allow the kids to wake up for a few minutes on their own. Suprisingly they allowed both of us to be back there--though they did say not to say anything about this to people. Try talking to them and make friends with the surgery staff upon arrival. They are more apt to honor your request. Oh, the overnight stay sucks by the way!!! You won't sleep all night. Be prepared. Have others bring your meals and such. Our local moms club brought our meals for over a week at this was even at Christmas time! Get rested ahead of time.

this will be tough but you'll get through. Bojan has another surgery this coming Monday. Urghh. Not an overnight this time thankgoodness. But still a surgery. Also, sometimes a hospital stay for attachment can be very good for the child. They HAVE to rely on you for everything. You become their one and only comfort zone. Good luck and let us know when surgery is.

Take care,

[CeltiaSkye]

My neice had surgery when she was 3 to remove a small tumor from above her eye. They gave her some medication in her room to relax her, and then instead of wheeling her on the gurney down to the OR they let my sister carry her down. This avoided the "scary wheeled bed with no idea where I'm being taken" trip for her.

When she woke up from the surgery she was very grumpy and said her very first "bad word". My sister was so embarassed.

[erickk]

Karen, Eli had his tonsils and adenoids out, ears drained and then tubes put in all in one shot. You already know about the being with him when they give him the anesthesia and when he comes out of it.

My biggest recommendation--find out about the pain killer liquid medication they will give Alex. We had a nightmare situation on our hands. Just before we left they mixed Tylenol with the pain medication and gave it to Eli. When we got the pain medication at the pharmacy we discovered that it contains alcohol!!!!! Ouch, ouch, ouch!!! I am unsure of who in the world thought trying to have anyone (and especially a child already in pain) try to swallow medication with alcohol in it when they are having surgery done on their throat--what the heck were they thinking. We tried to get a non-alcohol version and were told the pharmecuetical company that used to make that brand was bought out--and they did not make the non-alcohol formula anymore. We were told to give Eli Tylenol an hour before we gave him the pain medication and it would be easier for him to take. Well, they had already poisoned those waters when they mixed the 2 at the hospital--he would not take the Tylenol--so we wound up getting suppositories to "give" him prior to the pain medication. It helped some.

Lots of ice cream, popsicles (Eli was partial to the Blue's Clues ) and ice packs for around the throat to numb things up before the mediation. Still with all of this we eventually wound up in the ER because he refused to take the pain medication-it hurt too much-so he stopped taking any fluids and needed an IV. The good thing is once he had the IV in he got the pain medication he needed and downed 4 popsicles in a row. The next day the pain was gone enough that Tylenol worked (we got a different flavor-had the pharmacy mix up a batch where they add the flavors).

Find out in advance if they now have alcohol-free pain medication--Eli's surgery was 2 1/2 years ago.

You guys have been through so much and another trip to the doctor is hard. I wish I had known all this stuff before Eli had his surgery. I would have been much better prepared and could have been able to talk to the doctor about alternative forms of pain medication. The pain did go away in about 3 days

Keeping your guys in my thoughts.
Karen