[mikiment]

Hi, friends. Sorry I've missed the forums for several days and will have to catch up later. Our beautiful, sweet-natured 14 year old mixed dobie/shepherd, Misha, became very ill over the holidays and her health rapidly deteriorated. After major diagnostic $$$, it was determined she had developed congestive heart failure primarily due to a rapid growing tumor wrapped around her heart. A surgery prognosis was not recommended due to the nature of the tumor and her advanced age coupled with extreme arthritis, which would have greatly worsened because she would have had to be caged for several weeks during the recovery process. Our vet didn't think she would ever be able to get up again if she had the surgery, assuming she even survived it, and felt the recovery process would be extremely painful for her without much chance of a good recovery. Due to size/age, she was considered the equivalent of 88 years of age. Our vet, a dear friend who has taken care of Misha since she was a puppy, helped us come to the heartbreaking decision to put her down so that she would not continue to suffer.

Reading this, it sounds so clinical. But the reality is that this has been a completely devastating experience for my husband and me. Emotionally we are basket cases, cannot sleep well or eat, and are just completely wiped out. I am having a very hard time trying not to cry hysterically all day, and keep "losing it.". Though I'm trying to hide it around the children, we are both failing miserably. The kids know something is very wrong & are both asking for "Mi-Mi?" and I don't know what to say to young toddlers who cannot understand -- don't want to say "put to sleep" or "went away" as that could scare them or cause other issues, but they are so young, there's not much that is age appropriate that could be understood. Any ideas, please share.

Please forgive me for taking up everyone's time. I don't mean to be a baby about this -- I know many are in much greater pain due to much weightier issues. And we certainly understand "she's just a dog," but to us, she has been a best friend and true companion throughout the years and we feel as if our hearts are breaking. I know I should have some peace that we did what was ultimately best for her, but I feel I have somehow given up on her and let her down, and just cannot bear not having our furbaby here with us. Simply "replacing" her is out of the question -- she was - and is - irreplaceable to us.

We got Misha just 2 months after we married 14 years ago when she was just a few weeks old (abandoned at a construction site near our old office park) and she has always been a part of our married life together. We always described her as our "oldest child" -- the one who got the extra perks and the only one who could sleep in Mama & Daddy's room, as well as the one who could stay up latest. She was such a vital part of the family who comforted us with true devotion and loyal friendship throughout all the pain of our fertility struggles, the craziness and heartache of the adoption process, the decline and death of DH's mother due to Alzheimer, layoffs, etc.

Many of you I'm sure understand that when things are just too painful to talk about, there is such deep comfort in the loyal presence of our furbabies who simply want to be by our sides, and allow us to take comfort in their gentle unquestioning companionship and love. There's a reason dogs in particular are described as man's best friend -- Misha's fondest heart desire was always simply to be where we were, and she followed me from room to room throughout the day and was always there for us. She had adjusted so well to the kids, was very gentle and patient with Christopher and Alexandra. She had actually been a very healthy dog other than a nightmare experience while we were in Russia 2nd trip, when she had to have an emergency splenectomy (Nothing like having to spend an extra $5,000 when you're already used to writing those checks, right?! Talk about a nightmare!) But she was always oh-so-worth-it to us.

Anyway, sorry to go on and on -- I really just wanted to ask for your thoughts & prayers in accepting and eventually moving past this. I know it probably seems silly to some, and I don't mean to trivialize those with "real problems," but for us, this has been the most painful, devastating experience. We are simply lost without our dear, devoted friend, and while we knew she was getting older, this was totally unexpected. She was simply wonderful, and I feel broken-hearted to be without her.

Thanks for listening. Hope people are still getting good news, referrals, etc. -- I do think of those especially who continue to wait and wish you the very best. I owe some of you a phone call, and just wanted you to know I'll be back, I just need some time right now as we are quite simply walking around without our hearts right now and cannot seem to find our way. God bless.

[votemom]

Kim.... i am sorry. it will definitely take time to adjust to Misha being gone. she has been a part of your life for so long! hang in there.

[mikeintexas]

Kim - you don't have to apologize for writing this. Many of us know just how much our pets mean to us. They faithfully stand beside us in good times and bad and always seem to be happy to see us. So I understand the pain and the void you feel. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

When my wife was young, her dad told her that their dog "went away." Apparently that was enough to work for her. It may or may not work for you in your case, and I see that you've considered it. But it may provide enough of an explanation to satisfy them. I really don't know. But it worked in my wife's case.

I'm so very sorry about Misha.

Mike

[LilyMoon]

I'm so sorry to read of your Misha. I had tears in my eyes reading your post. My heart goes out to you and your family. I know the pain of losing a dog. We lost our dog, Chelsea, a longhaired Dachshund after 18 years. My son had only known life with her. We were all so devastated. It is such a hard loss. There is nothing to do but feel the pain.

We eventually felt we were ready to get another dog. It was good for all of us a puppy is so engaging and time consuming. We still miss Chelsea terribly and keep her picture up in loving memory. The pain has lessened and we really love and enjoy the two dogs we have now. Yes, we even got another one, a rescue dog from a shelter.

So sorry again. Hope you find ways to ease your pain.
Peace,
LilyMoon

[angelkisses0102]

Kim~

Hugs!!!! I am so sorry you lost your furbaby. I still remember the pain of losing my Hershey after almost 18 years. I could not function without having another dog...so I got my Sadie dog in less than one week. Hershey was a Lhasa Apso and Sadie is a Pom...just couldn't get a dog to similiar. We did not replace Hershey...but rather got a new friend to help ease our pain. It was awful...

[Shay]

Oh KIm, I too am sorry that your bearing this loss. We too have pets and it will be hard on us when they go.

HUGS!!

[charlotte16]

I am so sorry for the loss of your pet. I know how devastating it can be and when I lost my dog when she was 14, I thought I would never stop crying. I am a firm believer that we will see all our dear pets when we go to heaven. Misha will be there waiting for you and she knows how much you love her. Just remember that you gave her a long and wonderful life full of happiness and love, and that is all she could have asked for. Take the time to grieve. I will say a prayer for Misha and for you as well.

[maddensmom]

I am so sorry. There are just no words to make that kind of loss better when you lose a beloved pet, a family member in every regard to most. Please know that I am more than willing to listen any time you may need an ear.
I'll pray for your family and MiMi up in heaven.

[Jim_in_PA]

Kim, it's not easy to lose such an important member of the family...as our pets always are. Fond memories will always mean that Misha will be with you no matter what.

[lippylulu]

My heartfelt condolences. I have 2 furbabies. One is 13 years old and the other is 8. They were my first children and are loved so dearly. Maybe you will find some comfort on a Rainbow Bridge website. Here is a good one http://rainbowbridge.tierranet.com/bridge.htm

[Deena32]

I too have had a horrible week with my 6 mos old kitty. My vet wanted to put her to sleep. I was a wreck, so my H asked if we could take him to a Cat heart doctor. We did that, and they still didn't seem to give us any idea of what to do, other than to keep draining the fluid from around his heart. The vet said that it will most likely flare up again. Talk about happening at the wrong time.......we leave for a cruise in a few days. My kitty needs constant care and love, and i'm a wreck with worry.

I cried so much for 2 days that I didn't have anymore tears left. I really didn't. Some think that we are crazy to have spent $2,000 in one day and then may go ahead with the surgery if it is needed, but I love my kitty just like my kids. Some people just don't understand that. It is great when someone says, "i'd do the same thing if it were our kitten".

I know how you feel, I'm still a mess. I hope it gets better for you and your husband. You guys will be in my prayers.

D

[MominPA]

Kim,

I am so sorry to hear about your dog. Yes they do become members of the family and the pain is real when you lose them. We had to put down two cats at age 10. It is so hard to put an animal down. You do think that you failed them. I had to miss work since I got so upset that I got myself sick and got a bad migraine. I now have two dogs, one who just turned 13 and another one who is 11. I pray that when it is their time to go that they just go to sleep one night and die peacefully. I don't want to make the decision to put them down.

I read a book to my son, When a Pet Dies. I was very helpful in talking about pets deaths and it is okay to be sad.

[DelMarie]

Kim:

I can relate to EXACTLY what you are feeling. My husband and I got our dog Dingo just one month after we moved into our first home-1 year after getting married. He passed away at age 13. He was the most loyal, loving, sweet, dog ever-we have two great labs now but still have a void in our heart and will never forget our Dingo!

You especially have the memory of MiMi being your first family member together.
My heart goes out to you-one pet lover to another

DelMarie

[cathvash]

Heaven could only be "Heaven" if our beloved ones in fur are there! God bless Misha!

[Sally26]

Your grief is nothing to apologize for. You were very brave and compassionate to put Misha down . I let a wonderful friend, child, companion live for too long and looking back wish I had had the courage to do the humane thing and put her down. Grief of losing a pet is just as painful as any kind of grief, but with time it can be managed.

In my opinion, it is best to tell children as much of the truth as possible. Mi-Mi was old and very sick. She died and won't be coming home. She lives in heaven now and can run and play just like when she was a puppy. She watches over us with the angels and God gets to pet her. Mommy and Daddy are sad and miss her and it's ok for you to be sad, too. We're glad she is no longer in any pain and look forward to seeing her again in heaven.

I'm so sorry for your lose. Take comfort in knowing that you gave Misha a good life and did all you could for her.

I pray you find comfort that passes all understanding.