[Shay]

Hi all, I was wondering if everyone's friends and family were on board with your decision to adopt?

1) Yes, all were on board
2) Most were on board
3) a Few were on board
4) None were on board in the beginning but were later in the process
5) other

Feel free to elaborate if you would like, there may be others who are in the beginning stages and would love to hear your stories.

[dlhall]

We are very fortunate to have such supportive family and friends and every one was on board with our decision to adopt. All my family members adore my daughter and they're excited for us to add our new addition soon.

Liz

[Shay]

We were very fortunate that all our friends and family were very much on board and very excited with our decision to adopt. They knew all the heartache we went through to try to have a family and knew that this was a wonderful choice we had made.

I am very saddened when I hear stories of those who have no support with their decision to adopt. It is quite an emotional rollercoatser and having that support makes it a little easier to get through the process.

Please know that that is why we are here to help support anyone no matter what stage you are at in this journey.

[Jim_in_PA]

To date, we have not had anyone with any kind of negative response...friends, family, coworkers, compete strangers...

[Vicki H]

We had very supportive friends and family. The only one that was not on board at first was my FIL. That changed after trip one. It seemed like once he knew this was really happening he changed and became happy and excited as well.


Vicki

[KimOH]

Most were "gung ho" and a few were less excited but still relatively supportive. We didn't announce our decision until we'd already made up our minds though -- so it wasn't open for discussion. (In my family, I've found that makes a difference. LOL! If you're soliciting opinions you're opening yourself up, but if you've already made the decision we go by the adage "If you can't say something nice..." )

And everyone's "gung ho" now that they're home.

[drazil65]

We too are very fortunate with our family and friends in that everyone was/is so excited and supported our decision (anyone that mattered in our lives anyway). We have had a couple of instances where people we barely knew and some elderly relatives thought it necessary to make comments about the risks of IA and were we prepared for this risk (as if we had not put any thought into the decision) but that's as far as it went at the time and now that everyone has had the pleasure of meeting Adrian we have acquired some new IA fans!!!

[votemom]

everyone completely supportive! (except the Russian government, apparently)

[waitinginnj]

I was supported by everyone! It is interesting, but when you read and prepare to adopt as a single, you get all kinds of advice to be prepared for no support, people to fight you etc.

I had nothing but support and positive feedback. Anyone not positive, was kind (or smart) enough to keep their mouths shut. But, I really don't think that that was the case.

And now my daughter is fully embraced as another kid in the family with a few extra "Fairy Godmothers" (friends of my mom) who still have a soft spot in their heart for her and are extra kind. Most of them hace adopted children of their own.

[lippylulu]

We were supported by one side of the family and not so much by the other. People made comments that we were too old to be parents (we are 42 and 43). When we discused borrowing money, home equity loans, and the overall hardship financially someone even said "well if you can't afford adoption than you shouldn't do it." Now that we are home and a wonderful family. the naysayers are back peddling to make up for being so nasty. Their loss.

[pwnort64]

I, too, prepared myself for people to make comments or show disapproval of my decision to adopt as a single woman. Therefore, I waited until I was pretty far along in the process before I started telling people.

I did tell my parents before I actually got started. I was worred about their response, but they were immediately supportive. I waited to tell my siblings as I knew that they would speak their mind and, not knowing what their mind would be, didn't want to be swayed by anything they would say. So I was well along in the paperchase before I discussed it with them. Turns out they were all very supportive as well.

I think in all, I had one of my brother-in-laws that 'concerned'. He didn't express it, but I could tell from his reaction that something wasn't right. I pushed him to get him to explain how he felt. He was concerned about knowingly going into a single-parent situation. He was entitled to his opinion and never forced it on me, so I didn't force mine on him.

One co-worker felt the need to remind me about all the 'poor children from Romania that ended up being so mal-adjusted' that she had seen on 20/20 a million years ago. I think as soon as it was out of her mouth, she realized how inappropriate it was to say to me and made an excuse and walked away.

Those are my only moments of non-support. Everyone at my church was so excited for me, all my co-workers have been supportive, and my family has totally embraced Henry as part of the family.

[cynthiab]

I am very fortunate to have great supportive parents. They are great with my daughter and already consider our future son thier grandson. He was here for a summer program and just fell in love with him. They're probably just excited as we are. Then we have my husbands parents who are not very supportive and make many inconsiderate comments. I only can pray that they change before he gets here.

[kizibits]

I'm very lucky--all my family and friends are on board with the idea. In fact they are all almost as excited about it as I am!

[Pepperoo]

This would make a good poll... maybe you can set it up like that?

As for me, I would say a few people are on board. (Thank goodness there are a few!)

There are several in the family who are opting for "silent disapproval" - although they know our plans, and know that we are well on our way, they choose to pretend it's not happening and avoid asking us about our progress.

I guess they feel that if they ignore it, it won't happen.

Wrong.

But thankfully there are a few who keep us in their thoughts and never forget to ask how things are going and offer their support.

[Shay]

Originally Posted by Pepperoo

This would make a good poll... maybe you can set it up like that?

That is funny you said that Pep because I thought about that before I posted this.