[Abdulina]

Hello once again. Have an hour before I have to be at the prosthetic doc. Thanks for the comments on the first adoption story of our first two children home. Adventure is an understatement when it comes to the next story. Hold on tight for it's not for the faint of heart. I will be honest so bear with me here.

Well, it all started in Jan. of '03. My husband and I had been discussing more kids but were waiting for timing. Our son's meds were finally adjusted and things seemed ot be progressing. At a good point with the schools, etc. So, we looked into the hosting program. Same program our first two were found on except this time, we would be hosting the children. We signed up for the program. Later, we got medical reports on each. Little scary even for Russian medicals. I turned to my husband and said what if she hurts the other kids? The medical said our daughter was malicious and violent toward others. But, we figured it is only a week and we could handle anything for a week--LOL. I also question the head of the agency & the head of the foundation as to why it said terminating of parental rights being considered. I looked them straight in the face and said "Are these children free and clear for adoption?" Remember this for later on in the story--vital piece of info. I was assured yes.

We got photos. I was not overly wowed by my daughter's picture. But the other little guy was okay. He was 6yo and my daughter was 7. Grew to know the photos, you all know how that feels. While reading the 10 pages of medical info that I had on each child. Yikes. Time was drawing near. Practicing Russian, getting ready. Got a call. Can you please add Alex to your home to host? I said I don't know if that's going to be a good idea given his medicals. I personally didn't think a child going through that much trauma in the past few months should be put through more. (remember, he's our future little "RADish.") But we said sure. We can host 3 kids. First, I asked how old Alex was. They said 2 but he'll be 3 when he gets here a week later. So, we were going to be having our 2 kids and then the 3 hosted ones. Anyone up for a little adventure??? So we had a 3yo, 6yo, 7yo, 7yo, and 10yo in the house.

The day for hosting came. Going to the meeting place and feeling like I was going to vomit. So for the description but my stomach was so in knots with emotion that's the best way I could explain it. Anxious, excited, scared, joyed, etc. all wrapped up in one feeling. The kids were obviously jetlagged and terrified. But we managed. Trick to any meeting w/ Russian kids (learned this w/ the earlier 2 adopted), is always GUM. They will do anything for gum, including stop crying. Won't go through everything we went through that week. It was rough but good. The one 6yo boy was not going to fit in with the family. Many behvioral, emotional and mental issues beyond our capacity. That was a very difficult decision. Anyway,on the third day, my husband turned to me as I was going to sleep and said "we're going back to Russia, aren't we?" I said yes and went to sleep. Ironically, this was the same day our daughter proclaimed to her caretakers that she was not going back to the desky dom but staying with her new family.

It was the day before they were due to leave. I frantically rushed to Walmart nad spent $50 bucks at the one hour photo. I made all 3 of them individual photo albums to take back to remember us and their trip. That night, Yana was rumaging through all our photo albums and wondered why she wasn't in any of hte pictures. We tried to tell her b/c she lived in Russia and wasn't home yet. that's when it hit that she was going back. Oh, she cried and cried. We did tell her that evening that we were going to come back and get her. She ignored us as we were packing her things up. This was extremely difficult on all of us. The next day we had to meet at Chuckie Cheese to say goodbye and hand the kids over. Oh God, I just wanted to keep driving and runaway with them. I couldn't believe they were going to take MY kids away. But we knew we had to. Yana still did not want to have fun. We made them translate and tell them we were going to bring them home. Also, told them to tell her the sooner she went home, the sooner she'd get to come back and stay forever. That did it for her. She was ready to go so she could come back. We gave a donation of $500 to the orphanage director so she could purchase things back in Russia for the orphanage. She was beyond appreciative. Oh, forgot to tell you all we were once again media followed. The big paper here followed us and the other families the whole time. EVen came to our home and took pictures.

As we loaded them into the van, I broke down. I couldn't do it anymore. I had so many people try to pick me up. The thought of saying goodbye literally brought me to my knees on the ground. that was my far one of the hardest things to do in my entire life. I was absolutely crushed as we had to say goodbye. I turned to the director and said I will hand everything in on Monday. He said I know. It was Saturday. My future 3yo son and 7yo daughter were on their way back to Russia. It was hard to go home to quiet. EVen the other two kids were crushed. They said when are you leaving to go get them. Now, at that point in time, we honestly thought we'd be leaving in October to bring them home. Boy, were we ever mistaken! That story part to come later tonight. Got to go now. Son needs his leg adjusted and errands await. Stay tuned for part 2 b later on.

Take care.

[Jim_in_PA]

Thanks for continuing your sharing, Stephanie. I do know that "having to give them back" feeling quite well...

I'm very surprised that a 3 year old was brought for hosting, however. Even older children at the younger end of the spectrum have difficulty with the travel and a one week stay exacerbates the time zone issues. But it sounds like you survived!

[HollyB]

Stephanie,
Please post the rest of the story soon. I must have just started reading on this board around the time you came home, so I don't know what had happened.
Reading your reaction when the children left brought that flood of emotions right back for me.

[dlhall]

Waiting anxiously for the next installment. Again thanks for sharing.

Liz