[wishing]

I'm sure there has been a past post on this subject, but I was not able to find it. Anyways, we are in the process of adopting a 2-yr old and 1-yr old and hope to bring them home very soon. Concerning the current sleeping arrangement of the children, the 1-yr old sleeps by himself, however, the 2-yr old's bed is pushed up against another toddler's bed. So she is accustomed to sleeping with another toddler. We have read the recommended books about cosleeping for attachment and our IA Physician is very pro-cosleeping for the first year. So we feel that cosleeping would be beneficial for both children. But I was wondering what other parents have done. Did you cosleep at night and naps in their beds/cribs? And how long did you cosleep for? And how was the adjustment for the child(ren) after they began sleeping in their own beds? On the other hand, if they were in their own beds/cribs from the beginning--I'm a very light sleeper, so I would be there in a matter of a second to attend to them if they would start to cry in the middle of the night and a full-size bed is rather small for 4 people too Just need some advice from the experienced ones out there. Thanks again!

[Kasey]

My son was younger ( 5 1/2 months) when he came home. Basically I slept in his room with him in the beginning, we always rocked him to sleep and put him in his crib at night. During the day, I slept with him for nap #1 and he slept in his crib for nap#2. We always put him to sleep in his crib at night, but if cried we immediately picked him up, if he didn't go right back down to sleep he came in bed with us or with me in the twin bed in his room.
Our IA doc also encouraged co-sleeping. I also am a light sleeper, so I was awake quickly, DH sleeps like a log.
This worked well for us, we didn't plan it, just figured it out was we went along and took our cues from Alek, the napping together I did plan.
Maybe you could sleep in their room with them and be there as soon as they need you (I agree 4 in a full size bed is tight, we have 3 of us in a king and sometimes I feel smushed!).
I would say try some different things and you will figure out what works best for the kids and you!
Good luck!

[angelkisses0102]

With our daughter...who transitioned nicely...she was in her own crib and sleeping thru the night from day 1...she came home at 11 months. However, once we brought Alex home...she was about 2.5 years old, she regressed a bit and I have been lying down with her in her bed each evening and when she was taking naps...at nap time. Now it is a habit we both enjoy...

Alex, oh baby Alex...he came home at 8 months and did not transition nicely...we have tried everything...we initially started off with his crib in our room...he was waking 8 to 10 times per night....we tried co-sleeping which did not work for him for some reason. What has worked best for him is for us to come to him and reassure him when he wakes during the night. He has been much better as of late...I have started sitting in his room and just hanging out with him until he settles down...it *seems* to be working.

It is so hard to know what will work...are both kids going to be in the same room? That may help if they are...or having them in your room...just not in your bed.

Good luck and congrats!

[mschweber]

I've got to say I hate the term "co-sleep". It sounds like the worst combination of politically correct and new age jargon


Anyway, we started Rebecca out on a mattress on the floor in our room. We would both lay with her until she fell asleep then move to our bed. When that seemed to be working fine we moved her to her room and again lay with her until she fell asleep, usually singing her to sleep(me in the other bed in the room and my wife in the bed with her) and then left. We continue to do this to this day (almost 1 year later). Many people tell us we are crazy but since everyone enjoys this time why not?

Most nights she slept through but sometimes she would wake once during the night and need some reassurance.

Recently she has been waking up around 3AM and simply getting out of her bed and climbing between us in our bed. Sometimes one of us wakes up but sometimes we do not know she is there until the morning. On weekends we do not mind this at all but during the week if we are awakened by her we will wait until she falls asleep and move her again because otherwise the activity of us getting ready for work means she gets up very early in the morning.

For naps we usually rock her to sleep then put her in her bed and leave the room. She is fine and pretty much from the beginning just got out of bed and went to find us when she gets up.

But, she has to this day never fallen asleep on her own with no one in the room. Since she has attached well and is interesed in being a "big girl" we are debating trying to get her to go to sleep on her own after we pass our first anniversary date and trying to come up with a strategy.

Basically I would recommend doing whatever you can to foster attachement and then just enjoying your time together.

[cici32]

We tried co-sleeping with our 3 year old son but he refuses to go to sleep and thinks it is "social hour". So now, I rock him while DH reads to him and then I continue to rock him with the lights out until he either falls asleep or ask to get in his bed. Once in his bed he is usually asleep in about 10 mins.

Naps are a different story. Sometimes he takes one and sometimes he doesn't. I tired laying with him but again, he thinks it is "social hour". He doesn't want to be rocked and prefers to sit in bed and look at his books. He either looks at them the entire time or sometimes he falls asleep. All depends on the day.

[LilyMoon]

We began co-sleeping right from the beginning. I knew my daughter would not sleep alone as she never had. In the hotel in Russia she wouldn't even sleep in the roll away bed we got...she slept with us. So, we did so-sleeping when we got home and still do it 2 years later. I think it has helped with bonding and security. I know only too well how quickly the kids grow up and no longer want that kind of closeness with their parents (I have a 17 yo). So, I say enjoy it while it lasts! Those cuddles and snuggles are so precious.

LilyMoon

[stephw3boys]

I had contemplated co sleeping - but after a week in hotel rooms where sleeping in my bed was really rough, and she preferred the crib, I did not do it!!

Good luck.

Truly though, feel the kids out the first week in the hotel to get an idea of what might work.

[Javalita]

I didn't do it in the beginning - for the first 4 months or so. Just started in August and it has helped us a ton with attachment. I regret not cosleeping as soon as we got home. It is so beneficial for attachment.

We put him into a crib next to our bed after rocking him to sleep. Then when we go up to bed we move him into our bed with us.

He definitely didn't like it at first - he fought all the way. Thought it was social hour, stayed up for 2 hours whenever he stirred a little, etc. Then as soon as he woke up all he did was try and get away from me. I had to keep him in the bed. It was a big challenge. That only lasted for about 5 days. Now he lays in bed with me, cuddles and we laugh for at least 30 minutes before we get up. What a change!

He does naps in his crib.

I highly recommend cosleeping!

[Butabzig]

Our four year old daughter didn't want anyone in the bed with her from the beginning. We found that any movement would wake her as she wasn't used to having anyone sleep with her. For the first week and a half home she wanted someone to sleep in the room with her. After that she wanted to be like big sister and sleep in her room alone. She gets up in the morning and comes and lays with me for about 30 minutes. I think you just have to figure out what works best for each child.

[momm2be]

My 6 year old slept in my bed from the start. Being single, it was not too crowded, so we slept well. She needed this, and understand this more now, than I did then. Back then it was just easier for me not having to shoo her back to her room.

After about 4 months I started her sleeping her in her own room, and she would sneek in around midnight for the rest of the night. After about 7 mos, I started taking her back to her room. From 7 -12 months home, she slept nicely in her room. Now she is back to sneeking back in around midnight - I think due to the stress of 1rst grade and other things going on.

I think if you can tolerate the kicks in the back, it definitely is worth it, or rather I should say it has helped with our attachment.

[GCS]

Bringing home two is sure a lot tougher to manage co-sleeping arrangements.

Here's what we did. Our oldest had turned 3 just before we brought him home, our youngest was 5 months. Since the baby was on a different sleep schedule, I would rock her to bed and let her fall asleep on me everytime she went down. (Completely against the sleep experts advice, but we were focusing on attachment first and foremost).

Our oldest would go down in his own bed but I would lay on the floor next to his toddler bed and hold his hand until he fell asleep. We initially tried co-sleeping with him but he would just play so this was a better solution.
For naps I would let him sleep in our room and would lay down with him until he was asleep. Usually I would get up and try to get some things done during his nap.
We've been home a year now and I still stay with our oldest until he falls asleep at night, DH doesnt they just play for a while, say goodnight and that's that, so he doesnt need it. I just think it is good to enforce that attachment even after a year and it's nice for me to sit there a few minutes and rub his head or hold his hand.

I did move the baby to a different bedtime routine after 5 or 6 months. She needed to learn to fall asleep independantly and we slowly got her to sleep on her own. I still rock her and give her a bottle everytime I put her down - one nap and at night - even though she is on a sippy cup during the day.

Best of luck!
Christina

[sak9645]

I adopted from China, not Russia. My daughter was 18.5 months old when she was placed into my arms.

My daughter LOVED cribs. While we were in her city, the hotel supplied a brand new porta-crib, which was next to my bed. She slept like a log -- 10 hours a night, plus a two hour afternoon nap.

In Guangzhou, where we went to the U.S. Consulate, the hotel supplied a rickety old crib on wheels, which sat at the foot of my bed. She slept fine there.

And when we arrived home, utterly exhausted and jet lagged, she eagerly went to her pretty new crib with a fancy comforter and sheet. No problems whatsoever, except waking up at 5 a.m. and finding it hard to fall asleep much before 11 or 12 at night, before we got rid of jet lag.

Becca would probably have stayed in a crib until kindergarten, if I hadn't moved her to a toddler bed when she was over 3. She was petite and fit nicely into the crib. She also seemed to find it very secure and comfortable.

We were in a small condo when Becca first came home. Her bed was in an alcove that was very close to my room, and she found that arrangement perfectly acceptable.

When we moved to our house, she was five. She didn't mind having her own room -- since that meant getting a twin bed and a dresser with a MIRROR.

While I am not at all opposed to co-sleeping, it's not for everyone. I am a very light sleeper, and my daughter is an extremely "active" sleeper, who moves around all over the bed at night. Co-sleeping wouldn't have worked for us at all, although I wouldn't have minded putting a porta-crib next to my bed, if my daughter had found sleeping alone scary.

I would suggest that you set up your children's rooms, but that you also prepare in case your children want to co-sleep. Rather than having to move two cribs into your room, you might want to consider buying a couple of porta-cribs and putting them near your bed, in case co-sleeping becomes necessary.

Another option for the two-year old is a mattress on the floor of your room, for nights when she isn't comfortable sleeping alone. Of course, you'll have to shut your room door, so your child doesn't wander.

Sharon

[wishing]

Thank you all for your advice. Plan showing my husband your advice tonight.