[JackandJane]

I was wondering who has done a search and to also let others know it is possible.

We had a searcher look for Jordan's birthmother a couple months ago. He found her quickly still at the address originally given in the court papers. Although he was sucessful in finding her, she did not want to talk about it. She did give her reasons why Jordan was placed for adoption and took a few minutes to let him know a little about her life. She did not want any contact from us as she did not want to be reminded about the adoption. We were happy to find out there were no drug and alcohol abuse apparent. (Jordan shows NO signs of that either, it is just one of those things we wonder about). We were disappointed not to get any more info but are happy we found her and know just a little bit more than we did before.

Jack

[SingleMama2B]

Hi Jack and Jane....

Wow..... I don't know if I could do this (if my daughter's birth mother was still alive). I don't know what information you received from the Russian side of the agency, but I received ALOT. Pretty detailed too. I also have her birthmother's death certificate, all of the court records about birthfather never fighting the system removing my daughter from his home, the orphanage records of his contact with her over the 5 1/2 years there, plus more documents. My DD told me that her birthmom died when she was a baby, so she knows. We blow kisses to her every night. There will always be things that I am curious about, but I personally don't want to stir the pot. There is also a chance that the birthfather (not working, and an alcoholic is no longer living, as he had not called the orphanage the last 2 years my DD was there)! The documentation and court papers also state that. Such a personal decision.... Who knows, in a year or two, my curiosity may get the best of me....

[GCS]

Hi Jack and Jane,
we got a lot of info verbally on Sophia's situation because our facilitator had to travel 2+ hours to meet them and have them finalize some paperwork that had gotten lost before our court date. She met the father, mother and half sister and saw their home.
I have a bit on them and Sophia's half-sister, but nothing on Sam as he was abandoned. Since he is from a military town we know we could get info on him if we wanted to - no one can leave or enter the area without registering. But DH wants to let sleeping dogs lie and not try to obtain anything additional on him. He says he worries that something could happen to jeapordize our adoption. Even though we know that couldnt happen, he worries about it.
I would like to get more information for him, good or bad. At least I could tell him we tried to gather as much as we could about his early life - he was 2.5 when abandoned and 3.2 years when we adopted him. Since we are looking to go back for number 3 in a year or so, maybe we could gather some things for him then.
Christina

[JackandJane]

The only info we got from court documents was her address and the name of the father(they were not married). We also learned no family ever came to visit the orphange and she never saw him again after leaving the hospital.

[angelkisses0102]

We have a lot of information on Arianna's birthmom and birthgrandmother...most of it verbal from the SW in Tomsk. Down to a description of her birthmom and how intelligent and pretty she was...with height and weight. I would love to get a picture but...

Alex we also got a lot of info on...I have yet to read his court docs however...still too emotional for me based on what was shared in court...nothing bad, just heartwrenching for his birthfamily...I would love to get more info on his 3 siblings...but again...it is very emotional.

That being said, I do not want too much time to go by before we search...I would like to have the information available to them in case the kids ask about it someday...it is their history...part of their past...and I would love to have something for them...

[JackandJane]

One of the reasons we did the search was the fact it had already been almost 7 years and we did not want to keep waiting and somehow lose track of her.

Angelkisses, I see you adopted from Tomsk. A few years ago we had a professor from Tomsk stay with us over Thanksgiving. He was attending the University of IL in Chicago to get another degree for his work back in Tomsk. A couple weeks after he was here we had to go to Chicago for Jordan's citizenship and he met us at the immigration office. He went back to Russia before Christmas. We have stayed in touch, exchanging gifts at Christmas with his 2 boys.

[stephw3boys]

I will be starting a search in the next few months. I am pretty sure one day Kalina will want to know more. And if she thinks about it, she will say "you knew I would want to find out, why didnt you find out when there was still a chance the information you had could help". I think not knowing is, in MOST cases, worse than knowing the truth.

[erickk]

We got no information on our sons birthparents except the information she provided when she surrendered him at the hospital. The facilitator did not provide it although I know she had to do a search for the birthmother because she thought our DS was a sibling of another child she knew. Turned out not to be true. We know we would like to get the information but I think she is of the opinion (from talking to our host family) that it is best not to contact the birthmother.


For those who did get information-where did you get the information. Is this information we can/could get from the orphanage. We are adopting from the same orphanage so if we coud get information about our son when we travel that would be great. However, we do not want to do anything that would rock the boat. Suggestions on the things I can ask to get information about DS and our soon-to-be son or daughter when we travel would be really appreciated.
Karen

[JackandJane]

For us we had someone in Russia who does searches for adoptive families. I will send you a private message for a yahoo group with lots of resources.

[Vicki H]

We received some information on the parents, such as height, weight, age , description and names.

We were also told that Alex was the 7th child and was given up due to poverty. We were also advised and this is also documented in the termination of parental rights, that they hid the pregnancy for work purposes and would not like to be contacted at all regarding the child's adoption.

We know that they kept some of his siblings , but we were not given any info on any of them. They did mention they had one sibling at the orphanage previously , but would not tell us anthing other than the child was adopted.


Vicki

[kfin66]

Jack and Jane,

Our daughter is also from Alexandrov. I would be interested in any info and insight you have into contacting birth mothers. I'm not sure yet, but I have really been thinking alot about it.