[pahlsm]

Normal??? What is that exactly... I got out of the house for little while and we went for a short walk which seemed to help. I don't think I am at a point that I need meds or anything but I don't want to get to that point either. I sent my boss an email that baiscally said how I felt and how I thought he felt about the way things are going... I haven't heard back. I am one of those give 150-% to everything I do and wonder why others don't, I know I know get over it right. Well I am trying. I just don't want the pressure any more. I can't afford most of the help many were talking about so I think the best solution is to give up my at home job. I don;t make that much money at it and the stress and unhappiness isn't worth it. I just didn't want to have to give it up... but I don't see how I can't. I think the truth of the matter if I am honest with myself is that I really don't like my work... I dreamed for 10 years about being a stay at home mom.. and all that goes with it. I am resentful of having to work when I really don't want to and I know that I don't "have" to work... but dh really likes the extra money. I haven't been very upfront with him about all of this because of his stress and what I have come to realize is that it is a never ending cicle. I need to be honest with him and do what is right for me which will in turn be right for all of us and if that means giving up my job then so be it.... Boy you guys are good.... Did I make any sense. Now I just have to get the strength to do it... Oh that is the hard part. It is so hard to tell my dh that I need out of this job as he has never failed at anything and is so sucessful. I sometimes feel he just won't understand so I don't talk about it... or better yet he will say "oh this is all you have to do to fix it and all will be ok" well it can't be fixed.... Ok oK enough of my rambling on and on.... I thank you all so very much for the support. I know that I haven't been around as much as I should but it seemed like just another thing to have to do amoung all the other piles.... hugs to you all, Kathleen

[DebiP]

Us over-achivers seem to need our own group. PAD is soooo real and the worst thing you can do to yourself is to not talk about it and not seek help from a medical doctor. I am speaking from my own experience. After our first adoption I had it bad. I continue to be on an extremely low dose of meds and probably will continue to be after this adoption is over. If I miss a few doses I know it right away. I am proud to say I am in control of this even with medical help. Do not delay in helping yourself and family thrrough your depression. You'll be soooooo happy that you did. Best wishes....

[maddensmom]

I went through this too. Please don't forget about this forum too. It was a link for me to other mothers who were going throught he same thing. When I finally made time to come back here, I realized how very helpful these people could be.
Also, if I may, I really suggest you make time to go out with Emma. Even if you are tired, do it. You'll soon find, IMO, that you wind up with more energy to do the things you need to do after. And, Emma is sure to be whipped from such play. So, she should take a great nap.
I also containerizers my son's toys in big baskets. As long as things went back in a basket, any basket, I figured things were straight. I also had to work very hard to stop myself from feeling guilty about not spending every minute on the floor with him while he was awake. My son actually likes to play alone. Now some of that is due to an attachment problem, but I do want him to be able to play independently. So, I started structureing independent playtime into his day. It worked wonders. He was still plaing inthe same room, but he began to recognize that that was his time to play and Mom's time to work. I actually got him some toys that looked like kitchen utensils and brroms and such so he could pretend like he was helping. He liked that too.
And then... please try not to be too hard on yourself. I am sure you are a great mom. You care enough about this to seek advice here and that says a lot. Please just keep reaching out to whomever you choose and do the best that you can. That is really all any of us can do.
If there is anything I can do to help you in the future I would be more than happy to do so.
God bless.

[trnews71]

Kathleen,

You are not alone! And you do not need to do everything in one day! Just enjoy your baby...they do grow fast! Take things easy and be easy on your self. We are not super heroes although we sometimes try to be! The house cleaning can wait... just enjoy your self and your little one and do not fel guilty of things dont get done ASAP!


Hugs,

Carla

[spaypets]

Kathleen, deciding that your p-t job isn't worth the hassle isn't failure! It's deciding that your priorities are different--that's a success. Failure is continuing to do something that's unnecessary and unfulfilling. Your DH will understand that.

[stephw3boys]

Ditto spaypets. You are not a failure. Your job now is raising a child! It is not easy. I highly recommend working at finding other sahms with similar interests. Not always easy, but well worth it.

How are you doing now kathleen?