[Jen_in_OH]

OK...he's not that verbal, but his body language says it all!
My 2 year old son will only eat eggs, grilled cheese, mac and cheese, buttered noodles, banana, and apples. I personally don't think that's so bad considering some of the stories I've heard. However, it is making my DH nuts. He wants him to eat other things. This is making meal time stressful for all of us. (What should we make? What should he eat? Did he get enough veggies?)

We are new parents so here is the question (which I'm sure has an answer):
Should we only make meals for him that we know he will eat?
Should we serve him the same food everyone is having but have a favorite food on standby should he refuse the "new" food?
Should we just offer him the "new" food and no alternatives?

We want a healthy, happy, attached son. We just aren't sure what to do around meal time. He is a little, little boy (off chart in height and 3rd percentile for weight). We must fatten him up!

Jen

[Aleea]

My daughter went through a stage where she wanted nothing but mac and cheese for a month.
Now it's the same story with oatmeal.
My advice is to make a small meal for him but offer him what you're eating. DD will eat what we're eating once in a while.
Another thing I noticed is if we all sit at the table and eat together, she'll eat a lot more and be less picky.
Just a suggestion.
Aleea

[waxhawfamily]

My first question is; How long has he been home with you? I think this may make a difference.

IF he were your bio 2 yr old (or if you adopted from birth), I would suggest that you fix him what everyone else is having - with two exceptions. 1) If there is something that he hates (as in, throws up or gags on) don't even put that on his plate. 2) Make sure there is at least one item you are serving the family that DS will eat (even if it isn't a favorite of his). Make this his dinner with no other food afterwards if he doesn't eat the dinner. Put the uneaten food away until he is ready to eat. I heard a doctor even suggest serving dinner for every meal until it is eaten - even if it's the next day (Ugh! I can't imagine meat and veggies for breakfast ).

Since you haven't had him around for all of the last 2 years (and fully attached), I would suggest that you try to stick to the above guidelines as much as possible, with some flexibility. Since you are trying to encourage attachment along with healthy eating habits, you may not want to be too stringent.

Most toddlers eat good in the morning, ok at lunch, then bail on dinner. This is very normal, so don't stress out over it. Just give him a good multivitamin for his age.

One other tip is to limit, or eliminate, all afternoon snacks. Make DS good and hungry by dinner time.

[drazil65]

Our son goes through stages and we are pretty flexible with his meals (within limits of course, if he really had his way he would only eat chocolate pudding ). One of the posters above said toddlers usually eat very good in the morning, ok at lunch and bail on dinner, we find this pretty much true with Adrian. He loves breakfast foods (oatmeal, eggs, yougart, cheese) so I let him eat as much as he wants. Lunch is usually pretty good and he actually likes finger types foods better (fruits, raw veggies like carrot sticks, french fries, hot dogs) but dinner can be a struggle. As I have learned to pick my battles over the last year with him we let him be our guide on dinner and he usually eats a few bites from one of our plates and then he is done (he does not want an entire plate to himself at dinner). It eliminates the stress of forcing him to eat but we do make him sit at the table with us and interact. Adrian is very healthy and not starving by any means so if that is the case I say let it go and let him be your guide (within reason).

[tbristow]

Jenny,

Fortunately Hunter will eat anything that doesn't eat him first (now on the weight chart!!), but I know of many kids that are picky eaters. I think the main thing at this point is that you can get him to eat. Most of what you listed isn't too bad really. He'll grow out of it.

I liked the suggestion with making the meal and having one item on there that you know he'll like. Maybe if you sit down together and he's sees you eating it, he'll try.

[mcanvasback]

Ok, here I am posting again when I don't even have a kid yet but my niece is 13. She eats: eggs, chicken nuggets, some fruits, buttered noodles, carrots, bagels, peanut butter, yogurt, drinks milk and juice. That's it. From day one. Weird, yes, but she is healthy and beautiful and the doctor has always told my sister not to worry, she would grow out of it and the thing to do is try to introduce a new food at least once a week.

She didn't grow out of it! She is fine! Our mother is horrified, and thinks my sister handled it all wrong from the beginning but the bottom line is, Campbell is healthy.

My other niece (different parents -my sister-in-law puts whatever she and my brother are eating in front of them and says, eat) ordered Peking duck as her 5 year old birthday dinner!
So go figure - I would not stress about it or make DS stressed.

[urmysunshine]

Have you thought about making the Mac and Cheese dish with the little pieces of cut up vegetables in it? It is actually quite good! You just steam the veggies first and mix them in. Carrots and broccoli are the easiest but cut them very small and don't use too many at first.

[leaabc123]

Foster child (big D) just turned 3 and is also going through similar things. Remember that kids will eat when hungry.
She gets the same thing as everyone else and if she doesn't eat a bit of everything, no dessert. We don't force her to eat more than 1 or 2 spoonfuls though.

She also gets a children's multi-vitamin everyday, so we know she is getting what she needs.

My girls are also on the low end of the charts (for both height and weight) but as long as they keep growing, the docs are happy.

[dadfor2]

jen,

give him what he wants...(dont yell at me ladies... )

the foods he is eating, are pretty good, so i would let it go.

is he healthy?

for most kids, it takes about 4-6 times placing a new food in front of a child before he actually will even taste it.

im a softie though when it comes to food, as long as he is eating, im happy. (my son had horrible eating habits...he wouldnt eat anything)

so i guess its choose your battles...for us.

i wouldnt analize it to much, very common in all kids with food.

so IMO
make the food you all are eating, and want him to eat.but also give him what he wants..(usaully its the same thing as the night before, and night before that...and etc....lol) put a little on a side plate..ask him to taste it..."no"..ok, remove the plate.

he will eat what he likes. but at least you tried, eventually he will try it...it just takes time.

of course there is always "he will eat when he is hungry" rule...

i really want dinner to be a nice time for all of us, i view dinner as a time where we all sit down and check in about our day and have it a nice part of the day.

so for us, its not so much about the food, but having the family all sitting down having a nice bonding moment.

i guess its how you want your dinner time to look and what is the most important thing to you.

as the old saying goes...
you can lead a horse to water, but you cant make him drink.....

i know we all want our kids to eat what we make them....but is it really worth the tantruming.

throw an egg on for him...sometimes, its probaby more healthy then what we are eating anyway.....

[Vicki H]

Alex is like this also. He will only eat broccoli and carrots as far as veggies go. He loves mac n cheese and grilled cheese and absolutely loves pb&j.

He is not much of a meat eater unless it's a hotdog.
So I am kind of flexible with his meals. I will make him eggs for the protein or will give him mac N cheese and veggies.

I provide him with yogurt and oatmeal for breakfast and things that he likes for lunch so even if he doesn't eat much at dinner at least I know he ate that day.

If you are concerned about nutition, I would definately give him vitamins and make sure he drinks plenty of milk.

[angelkisses0102]

We went through this with both...actually still are...

I don't force them to eat what we are eating...or even what we make them...I have found the less of a big deal I make out of it, the better they are.

Alex is a grazer...but a very healthy grazer so we let him graze. He currently is very fussy and would eat chicken and only dairy if we let him...we do present him with fruit and veggies pretty much at every meal...and the dogs eat his fruits and veggies after almost every meal...but occasionally Alex will try something. Our pediatrition is happy with his grazing and told us to keep trying different foods...so we do.

Arianna is also fairly fussy...but asks for healthy foods and snacks...so again, we don't make a huge deal out of it.

Staples at our house are chicken, turkey breast, mac n cheese, fresh fruits, peas, broccoli, pizza (not for Alex), Cheerios & low sugar Fruit Loops, breakfast bars...low fat, different cheeses, fresh, grainy breads and bagels...and of course the occasional cookies, ice cream, and popsicles for treats. They mainly drink water...milk, 100% fruit juices...

I think the ped. said it can take well over 10 times of presenting a food before they will try it sometimes...

Good luck...
Karen

[crick]

Jen,

He's 2. Tell your dh not to worry so much and since the goal right now is to fatten him up, I'd be letting him eat what he wants, not starting a battle and losing it. And trust me...it's not a battle you will win.

Ketchup is a veggie... so if he'll tolerate that, give him some of that on his noodles etc.

I'd also recommend giving him some pediasure or other type nutrition drink to make sure he's getting all his nutrients and vitamins.

You can certainly introduce new foods at mealtimes, but I wouldn't make a fuss over it if he refuses. Just give him 1 green bean or 1 pea etc. and just keep introducing it.

[slm_tbm]

Micah doesn't eat much at all and when he does he's very picky. We bribe him to eat. Sounds bad, but hey when your 27 month old is only 24 pounds you'll try anything! We go back an forth with eat a bite of chicken (whatever he's eating) and you'll get a gummy (or fruit). If Micah had his way he would sit down and eat nothing but fruit. Which is healthy, but doesn't exactly pack on the weight! The bribe method has really worked with him and he has gotten to where he understand how it works and complies without any complaints. We keep increasing the amount he has to eat to get the reward. So far it's working!

[Shay]

wow...slm_tbm...it has almost been a year since you have been home with Micha..time has flown..I remember when you just got home with him and showed the pic of him in the girly clothes in the orphanage..then the one in his car seat. Nice to see you popping in again. We need new pics of him!