[Dad79]

What do most of you think about names? We are trying to adopt a 3-4 y.o., so me? I want the child to keep his/her name, like if it's Alexei or Leonid or Natasha or whatever? What do most of you plan? Change to Americanized names or keep the original? I figure it's part of a legacy and for an older child an easier transition.

Here I am bringing this up just to talk about something, since the whole process is in limbo now?

[trnews71]

We are planning on keeping the name given at birth and if there is no middle name we will give one.

[linae]

We kept our eight month old daughter's first name and changed the middle name. We plan on doing the same for our second.

[Butabzig]

We had originally planned to keep a child's name until getting our current referral. We are changing the name just because it will be a name that she won't want to have in America as she gets older. The name that we are changing to is a Russian name that won't be very different from her name now. She will take on my maiden middle name. Her Russian name is a HUGE mouth full.

[waitinginnj]

When I brought my daughter home at 2, I changed her name. I would have had very mixed emotions about changing it if she was older and I did worry about whether I was making the right decision or not. One thing to consider though is what the children are actually being called. My daughter never knew her Russian name. She was called by a nickname that I wouldn't have been comfortable with at all in the US. So, although the thought process of maintaining the child's name seems right in so many ways, you may find that you are changing his/her name in their minds anyway, as they may never have been called by their formal name. Just a thought.

[mikiment]

We kept both kids' Russian names as their middle names, then added first names that were of special significance to us. We personally wanted to keep their Russian names as part of their heritage, though if it had been something that might have caused them to be greatly teased in the States, we might have reconsidered or slightly modified.

[Jim_in_PA]

Our girls' first names are staying the same other than Americanizing the English spellings to insure they are pronounced correctly...or at least hopefully pronounced correctly. Middle name will be Alison's last name and Last name will be mine...for both. The only reason we would change one or both of the girls' first names would be at their request and only then after we were sure it was what they truly wanted. But we're also talking about a 6 year old and a 10 year old...a toddler would likely go with whatever you decided.

[cici32]

We are keeping our little man's Russian given name as his first name.

[GCS]

We changed both the 3 year old and the 5 month old's names. It was not a problem for the toddler.

Christina

[melis-2004]

The biggest reason for shifting our son's first name to a middle and giving him a first name that is more common in the US was to avoid questions during even the most casual introduction. We think that our son's adoption story is his own and he may not feel like sharing the facts at every turn. We also felt it might help him feel less singled out within our family. We fully expect that as he gets older he may want to go by his Russian name which will be fine with us.

This is a really good topic and I surely don't think there is one right way to do this. I think everyone is motivated by love for their child and is seeking to do what they feel is best for them.

Melissa

[skling69]

We went into the process with the plan to wait and see. We did not have any names that we loved or hated, if we could keep the Russian name we would, of course we could regardless, just from a praticality stand point. Our sons Russian name was Pavel Vyacheslavovich. So we decided it would be best to change his name to something more "American". He was never called Pavel at the orphanage anyway he was called Pasha. So we changed his name to Nicholas Pavel. We started calling him Nicholas Pasha and dropped the Pasha in a few weeks. It was not a problem, everything else in the world around him was called something different, why not him. I mean by that it was now a cat, instead of ?, it was now milk, instead of what it had been called, it seemed to be a natutral part of the transition for him.

[DET62]

My daughter was older at adoption time [13] but during my first adoption visit I explained to her that we could keep her Russian name but spell it a little more "American" - so Olesya became Alesia. I wrote it out for her and she said OK. I wanted her to have some time to get used to it and be able to write it. I kept her Russian last name as a middle name, then added my last name.

One thing I would NOT do, however, with any child past babyhood, is just arbitrarily give them a new name you've picked out and demand they refer to themself that way. An older child should consent, or should have some say in the process, I think. / Toddlers might be a bit of a judgement call...

[Dad79]

My wife's from the former USSR, so having a kid with a Russian name wouldn't raise any questions with us. I have a hoplessly long and un-American Greek last name, that I'd never consider changing. I grew up with that kind of name, and it wasn't a bad thing, no offense, I'd gladly take it over say "Smith".

[heikewould]

Just one more thought. We did keep her birth name as her middle name and went with a name I loved for years. Her birth name was nothing Russian.

As for as "different, strange and hard to pronounce " names, I had a hard time in school at times with my name. Not from the kids, but from the adults and teachers who didn't take the time to pronounce my name. It's Heike. (HYKA). During the start of school at role call I always knew when they reached my name. By the way when I hit my teens and adult years, I LOVE MY NAME. Hardly anyone has it!

With baby names like River, Apple......

[Alison_inPA]

More important than keeping or changing a child's name may be the attitude about it that you convey to your child. If your reasons are positive and loving (e.g. I gave you this name because it was a name I have always loved, to show you how much I love you) rather than based on shame or rejection of their birth names, I would think that most children would not have a problem with it. Also, you tell them that they're free to change their names again if they like. When they're at least 18 and have a job so they can pay the attorney's fees.