[momm2be]

It just hit me - why did I feel so grumpy today? Well, 1 year ago today was the worst day in my life. I was putting this wonderful little kid back on a plane to return to her Russian Orphanage. My four week hosting experience was a crash course in what was really important in life.

Well some will remember my posts about the screaming, disobedient child I returned home with- unlike the sunny sweet five yr old that left. At six, the independence seeker coupled with the big change in life was a difficult homecoming for her (and me )

Looking back, I am eager for the time that I can do this again, because know I KNOW things! There was so much I wish I really understood in the way I do now- Things that no course or book prepares your for - mostly learning to believe it gets better with every day and how much fear drives their reactions. I could have never been fully prepared for the intensity of her fears, even though she was with me and knew where she was going.

Everyone told me kids were resilient and its true what a little love and structure can do. We are 9 months home and I can't believe how much she has changed. She is now 6 and 3/4 (can't forget the 3/4). She speaks English well, has lost the Russian almost completely. That saddens me as she retained it for quite a while. I know right know it is probably best, get her fully into life here, then we can relearn it. She is almost 4 feet tall and 50lbs. Thats about 5 inches and 10 lbs since last summer. She is so tan (despite the gallons of sunscreen we use) and the blonde highlights in her hair are beautiful - she looks like a commercial for coppertone.

She just finished 4 weeks of performing arts camp and was recognized for how well she was doing at the camp show despite only speaking 'fluently' for several months. No small feat since she already started out younger than the majority. It was amazing to see her on stage singing broadway songs, doing tap, ballet and hip-hop, also a little acting with the other 40 girls. Its was really hard to imagine that this kid was heading back to Russia just a year ago, while the rest of her friends were just hanging out at home waiting to go the pool - she was leaving a new life she was just gettting used to.

She is now for the most part a happy giggling little girl. She amazes most people she meets with her sheer enthusiasm about everything and her persistance to learn it all. She did very well in kindergarten and is heading on to first grade in the fall - right on track.

One of the perks of being happy now, is she now has a best friend. Kids want to be around her, and she enjoys alot of things she couldn't focus on a few months ago.

Life is still challenging at moments, but that's the 6 yr old girl in her.

I regularly follow the threads, and see alot of the anguish as people are waiting for trip dates, getting sent home for BS that should have never happened. I hope you all find it within to brave the wait. It will change your life in a ways you could never dream of.

[votemom]

what a wonderful post. thank you. hope springs eternal....... at least i hope!

[skiboo]

What a wonderful post... thanks for sharing! I can hardly wait to see you and Nat on Sunday...

[gabmom]

Thank you for your beautiful post!

[Vicki H]

Thank you for that wonderful post. We will see you both on Sunday.

Vicki

[trnews71]

I love your post. Thank you!

[waitinginnj]

J - you have been through a really challenging year. I found the same thing. The year later is when all of the emotion oozes out. I hope that you can celebrate the joy that is the end result.

You're commitment and stamina is inspiring.

Looking forward to seeing you guys on Sunday.

[mikiment]

What a great post! Thanks so much for sharing your personal experience -- so glad your daughter is adjusting so beautifully.

[Jim_in_PA]

Well, J...we have "that" coming up in less then two days, so I thank you for sharing and pointing out that all works out in the end.

And you do have an absolute lovely daughter. (I still owe you that picture I took of the two of you at the hosting picnic earlier in the month)

[RainyInGA]

THANKS.Ot warms my heart to hear your dreams have come true.

[mikeintexas]

This was a really nice story to read. All of us adopting or who have adopted older kiddos appreciate your insight.

Mike

[GCS]

What a great update! Dont be shy, let us know how things are going again soon!
There are a lot of us still thinking about going back for one more and the stories about the older children are really inspiring!

Christina

[dvona]

Momm,

It's always great to hear about the wonderful Nat! It is so good to see her taking such pleasure in the opportunities you provide her with. I'll say it again...what a difference a year can make!

I'd love to see a recent picture of your little beauty.

Donna

[k2s]

Momm,

Thank you for sharing this wonderful update. It is so encouraging to hear that host children do finally make it home! And, adjust well once with their forever families. We were waiting to host our 7 year old son this summer (we have a wonderful referral !), but the host program was cancelled. Devastated, we quickly put the balls into motion to proceed with a regular adoption of this child.

So, hearing your story today made me smile with joy that older children are making it home and families are reunited forever!

[Ktates]

Great post - I always love hearing about people who adopt older children - I like to hear about how well parents and kids do with some of the obstacles - stories and posts like yours point out things and have a frame of reference no book can give you!