[Michele007]

hi ya-
With not much to do except wait and wait and wait-which by the way I have become quite good at-LOL,its better than crying and going into a "melt-down" which I have mastered,thanks to this process. Anyway,we were told on trip 1 our son was left in the street and found by the police(breaks my heart) was taken to a hospital-then went to the orphange-apparently,they gave him a name, a date of birth, and a birth cert. No info on birth cert.-it indicates unknown birth parents-but on the cert. he has a last name which I do not belive is the orphange directors last name-does anyone know if it is approiate to ask whos last name he has,and did they just guess on a D.O.B.? And does anyone know if the child was born in a hospital,do they have records like we do here in the U.S.?Just wondering? Gosh I have to much time to think LOL
Michele

[waitinginnj]

It is appropriate to ask about your child's history. If he was truly abandoned, like they indicated, it very much could be a made up name, like the orphanage director or medical staff in the hospital and a made up birth date. They likely estimated his age.

The accuracy of the date is likely dependent upon how old he was when he was a foundling. If he was a newborn, the date is likely more accurate than if he was found later.

I am sure that you may hear from others with a similar situation. Unfortunately, your son is not the only child that had to experience this.

How great that you were looking for him! Best of luck with the process.

[Abdulina]

Michele,

YOu can ask but you may not get an honest answer. If he was found in the street, chances are, he had no record. Our oldest daugther was abandoned at the hospital, right after delivery. Birthmother gave all falsified information. (they tried to find her later) Anyway, in this instance, the nurses named our daughter after what they thoughtwas her mother's name. I was told when a child was abandoned, it was common practice for the hospital staff to name the child. However, maybe someone else on the board has a similiar experience to yours and could better answer.

Now, as far as the age thing goes, good luck. It's hard to tell their age. We actually had a bone scan done on our daughter to get precise age. A child that was adopted from the same orphanage as our daughter had the same bone scan done and was found to be 3 years older than on birth cert. You never know. Our 4 kids from Russia ALL had varying birthdates on documents. Only one, had varying years on the docs.

Good luck and congrats to you.

Stephanie.

[votemom]

I would definitely ask all of these questions. And, if given the chance, I would ask them of different people. A caretaker may give a much different "honest" answer than perhaps a director.

Just my opinion.

[ddahl]

I would ask as many questions as you can while youare there. I would make a list because youmay forget to ask pertinent question once theyhand you your baby. Its a mind wipe , I tell you! I could hardly focus after he was in my arms. It was love at first sight!

[sak9645]

Do be aware that NEITHER bone scans nor tooth studies are completely accurate in determining the age of an adopted child.

I would recommend that no parent change a birthdate on an internationally adopted child until the child has been home at least one year. Children do an amazing amount of changing in the first year or two that they are home, and the child who may initially seem to be younger or older than his/her stated age may actually turn out to have a correct birthdate.

Also, you can't always go by signs of puberty in figuring the age of the older child. Precocious puberty -- the unusually early onset of things like breast development, the appearance of underarm and pubic hair, and menstruation -- appears to be fairly common in internationally adopted children. There is some speculation that it occurs most frequently in children who have done a really dramatic "catchup" in weight, height, etc. when they first arrived home.


Sharon

[GCS]

Hi Michelle,
Your son has a similiar story to ours. We were told that Sam was found on the street by police with a note pinned to his jacket that stated his name and birthdate. No further information was given.
He was in the hospital for a bit and then transferred to the orphanage. He was 2.4 years when this happened.

I asked our faciliatator who traveled to his town to get the records from the police if there was any additional information on him/his family, anything we could tell him when he was older. She indicated that there was no reason to believe that the information given to us was accurate. Which, after getting to know her better I understand she is saying that it is not to be believed.

When asked, the director at the orphanage just shrugged and said that this was all they had.

We made the decision to keep everything given to us to present to him at a much later date. His birthday is as indicated in the police report. I also made a point to not really share this info with others close to us. I think it might be difficult for him if he feels his birthday was just arbitraily chosen (even if it was). I don't want others having a conversation about how old he really is, so I chose to keep this private.

Good luck with whatever you choose!
Christina