[mssylouis]

I am wondering if anyone could share their views on participating in a summer hosting program. I agree that it is great to get the opportunity to spend several weeks with our child. But if our homestudy and prelim package is complete and we are prepared now to adopt our child, is it quicker to go the normal route, 2 trips, and complete the adoption -- or is participating in a summer program the better route? I've heard some say that after the summer program, there are back-logs of dossiers, etc., and that it actually takes much longer to complete the adoption. Any opinions? Thanks!

[Jim_in_PA]

Tough call relative to the timeline, but even taking away the recent problems and slow-downs, I don't think you can say one is "always" quicker than the other. There are too many variables and you have zero control over any of them. They are just different paths to the same end.

We chose to host because of the opportunity to spend a lot of time with the prospective adoptive children, both to know and better understand them as well as to have a bit of "parental experience" that we do not currently have. Two-four weeks of contact through hosting was much more attractive to us over two-four hours of contact in-region in that respect. But it's also important to acknowledge that "giving them back" after a long stay together is not an easy thing and likely exacerbates the frustration relative to the time interval until the adoption can be completed! Every avenue has it's challenges...

You might also want to participate in the 2HostKids Yahoo group to interact directly with a lot of people who have or are hosting.

[regalroy]

We hosted. I feel it actually helped us adopt quicker.
When the judge looked at our paperwork, we had three contacts with our son. We were able to say, we had already had him in our home, it ment a lot.
It was very hard sending our son back to Russia. However, the parenting we were able to do here, set up ground rules, and we were able to use those when we went to Russia, (hotel stays were so much easier). Our son also had an idea of who we were, and so did not deal with us like total strangers, and followed along easier with how we conduct ourselves. The time spent was invaluable. The time spent in our homes, also let us see a bit of what we were getting into, and it is no picnic. We had the few months of homestudy/dossier to study more about how we would handle problems, discipline etc. having faced it already. The shock was a bit less. Our paperwork actually went quicker. I think it made my husband and I stronger and united. Some days, it was scarey though and we have a super kid.
I would ask your agency the turn around time they expect. Since you already might be ahead due to having completed paperwork, and since there is always a backlog, (this is Russia), hosting should put you in front of many, much easier for the agency was my guess. You can see our time line. The last thing I would say to you, it helped bond us to our son, and made the hard days of waiting seem more for a purpose.
We went into this to simply to adopt a child, and to love a child. After spending the time with our son, it became a mission to save a child. The hosting gave us the strength to hang in there during the mess over Christmas.

[momm2be]

8 months from first paper to bringing DD home. Don't know if it would have gone faster the more traditional way. Also I don't think you can stress enough how nbce it is to have them in your home - less surprises when you bring them home.

Remember these older kids have very defined personalities. To be fair to all it needs to be a good match, and not all matches are ideal.

I had a great hosting experience, and a wonderful child in my life. I can't imagine going another route to parenthood.

[GoCathy]

Here's the other side of the story. Yes, hosting is fun, but if it is not a good match it is heartbreaking because you know the child is going back without a home and all the other kids are coming back
Also, for the two agencies that do hosting in our area, it takes FOREVER to get the kids back home. We hosted last summer and of the ten kids in our group, only two are home now. This is not uncommon. I would plan on it being spring before your kids are home. It may depend on the agency so check that out.
I wish we had gone for a regular referral and spent several days with the child, then gone back to Russia in a much shorter time to adopt. Also, if you turn down a referral in Russia you are usually offered another on the same trip. In hosting, if the child does not work out, that's that. If you have other kids it is VERY emotional if you do not adopt the child.
I am not against hosting - it is a good thing because it allows families who might not other wise adopt an older child to meet and fall in love with one. However, if you are sure you want to adopt, you will adopt more quickly and have more choice if you do a straight adoption, in this hoster's opinion! And if you have other children, you don't have to give them a "vote" if you just go to Russia on your own.
Whatever way works for you, go for it.