[irinam]

Hi everyone,

I am just writing to say goodbye....I am really at my end, and have to step back for a while.

I appreciate your prayers so much. I stayed up a good part of the night last night pretty much sobbing and just begging God to intervene today, that I couldnt' take much more. For His own reasons, He chose not to.

I am starting to try to accept that we won't be getting our daughter, but I am having a hard time. I can no longer see other court dates being issued....its just too hard, especially when our wait has been so much longer.

This is such a great place, but I am actually unplugging my computer tonight, or rather having my DH do it, because once he does it, I couldn't figure out how to reconnect it if I wanted to.

The one thing is, we will always have a daughter. Whether she ever comes home to us or not, she is our baby girl, and always will be. While I know they could call tomorrow, I know the likelihood is pretty much nonexistent, and I am so tired of the hoping and going to bed each night praying that the next day will be the day they call and tell me to get my daughter. My heart truly cannot take any more.

I wish you all the best of luck. To those waiting for referrals, I so hope you hear soon. To those waiting for court dates/travel dates, I know how it feels, and I am hopeful for you as well.

Thank you all again.

[VinSue99]

I know how you feel.....please try to stay in touch somehow....I'm pm'ing you right now with my number.
Best wishes.

[kdk545]

I am so very sorry for you, I just hate that this is happening to you. We dont have a referral yet, but just last night I was saying to my husband how my heart just breaks for those of you who have met your children and continue to wait and wait and wait. I seriously dont think I could handle it either. Its hard enough waiting 8 months for a referral, but your situation is so much harder and I am just so sorry.

I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better, but I know nothing will until that phone rings for you. Please know that there are many, many people out here you empathize with you and wish there was something we could do to make it all better.

[mikeintexas]

Irina - you will *still* be in my prayers even though you won't be in our presence. I hope to hear something good from you down the road.

Mike

[Shay]

Irina I PM'd you!

[Ktates]

Irina - Please know that just because you won't be visiting for a bit doesn't mean we won't be thinking of you! I still hope and pray that you will get the news you have been waiting for soon!
Karen

[Kasey]

I am so sorry this has been so long and rough for you.
You will be in my prayers!

[Vicki H]

Irina I am so sorry. You are in my thoughts and prayers.


Vicki