[cathy102]

OMG!!! The stories are too funny!!! Just last week I went to my hubby's office to have lunch with him and the kids. We see this old lady all the time at McDonald's and she talks to us. We were walking out the door, and the lady said bye and Lexi said, Bye Old Lady... We never meantion the fact that she was old... We told her NOT to say that but say, Bye nice lady...

This one was about my mom and Lexi while we went on our Cruise in Jan 2005... Lexi was taking a bath and my mom had to get a towel in the hallway because she forget to get one before putting Lexi in the bath. Lexi yelled for my mom and scared the crap out of her. Lexi was crying and said she had something for my mom... Can you guess what it was???? She pooped in the tub and handed it to my mom and my mom freaked out... Glad it was my mom and not me....

2 Grocery Stories...
Lexi and I was checking out and the lady said hi to Lexi and she stuck her tongue out at her. She was about 9 months old.. I told the lady I was sorry and then Lexi waved by...

As Lexi and I was leaving the grocery one time there was a guy walking in and she yelled DADDY to him so loud. The poor guy just smiled and walked away...

Thanks for the fun...Keep them coming.. I am sure I have more to add but just can't think right now...

[cathy102]

I just thought of one more...

I must of been running some errands without the kids. While I was gone my goofy hubby asked Lexi what does mommy shave? What a weird question for a kid.. My hub is a jokster.. She said my legs and BACK... So when I got home he asked her that again and she told me..OMG!!! I told her I don't shave my back and where did she get that from.. She said she didn't know.. Well, we had family over that week and my hub asked her that question again and she said my legs and back.. My whole family wouldn't stop laughing...

I just asked her that now and she said my legs and back... I need to have a talk with that kid and she is almost 3...

[angelkisses0102]

our little girl, almost 4, attends preschool. i just got a call from the head teacher to tell me this story. she thought is was very funny.

there is a little boy in her class who is obsessed with becoming a girl. he wants to wear dresses and make up and hang out with the girls. our dd in her 3 year old wisdom keeps explaining why it is OK to be a boy. she has told him 'i have a brother and we have fun, we play together, so boys are ok.'

well today she had had it and told him, very loudly, you can't be a girl! you are a boy you have a p*nis. girls have 'bagina's' and you don't have a 'bagina!' you have a p*nis!

now, the funny thing is, although we taught her the proper terms for anatomy, we usually use cutsie terms at home. i guess she understands the difference!

[waitinginnj]

Good to see that we are not alone. I can certainly relate to the tongue issue. My daughter can put her tongue under her chin. Therefore, it she can grab a lot of attention with her tongue, including in the grocery store.

All I have to say is, "put it away" and she knows what I am talking about.

[Ktates]

How about when the Early Intervention teacher wants me to sing Patty cake to my daughter - and I had to tell her...I DON"T KNOW THE WORDS!! - How sad is that??? I think she thought I was lying so I didn't have to sing...

[BabsCanada]

Well my most embarrassing moments were entirely of my own doing, no blame to dd:

We adopted on about 3 days notice so I was a little unskilled at suddenly becoming the parent of a 7 month old

Within the first week, I blundered twice:

First, when I took dd with me to apply for my unemployment benefits: Drove to the office, unloaded the stroller, laid sleeping baby in it, she awoke and I tilted the back of the stroller up. She started HOWLING but I proceeded into the office, got into the line, checked on the HOWLING and reinserted her pacifier, she spit it out, continued howling, I got to the wicket and proceeded to start my claim with the worker there, dd still HOWLING and then I realized ... I'd pinched her arm in the stroller when I'd tilted the back of the thing up to a sitting position. I felt HORRIBLE.
Same week, took dd for her first photo session at a local mall. Had an appointment for 1 pm. Fed her lunch (processed carrots) and then dressed her in this lovely off-white outfit. Yup. As we are getting set up at the studio, she puked all over herself ... I still see the orange in the photos but no one else has ever commented on it.
I also remember the photographer asking if dd could sit up by herself, and I answered, I Don't Know. I'm sure she thought I was NUTS. But I explained it was her first week home, and honestly, I pretty much held her every second I could!!!
I'm a much better parent now, I swear.
Still, funny to recall the embarrassing moments as we become accustomed to parenting ...
Babs

[Shay]

Ktates, TOO FUNNY about not knowing Patty Cake!

Babs, I keep waiting for the moment I seem like an unfit parent out in public, I am overdue so I am very cautious! I am recalling the arm pinched in the stroller. Obviuosly an innocent mistake but when you are out in public it is enormous! LOL

[momm2be]

Last summer during our hosting period I took my dd (5 1/2) and my nephew (4 1/2) to Great adventure with my father. My father had been the most skeptical of this hosting program, and was keen to finding faults.

About half way through the safari section my soley Russian speaking DD moves forward from her car seat and starts stroking my arm "F**k you, Mama, F**k you".

I was in such shock, my father kept asking why is she saying that. I was ready to call the camp to find out who taught her this.Then I started to listen... She was trying to say "Thank you" but not "Th" was not coming out and she was getting some vowels mixed up.

We spent the rest of the day trying to teach her the "uck" sound should be "ank"

She still says Fank you. Can't quite get the TH.

[sainttj]

Our boys ( 3 1/2 and 2 ) have been home one month today ; ) are both fascinated by cars and trucks. Well they no longer say marchina but F*ck F*ck. I keep saying no TRRRR TRRRR but they just can't get it. I think we will call everything a car for a while ; )

My husband is teaching our daughter that smoking is bad so he says "if you smoke you are going to DIE". Thanks hun for scaring her into not smoking. Anyway, we are at an auction and I take her outside the auction building. As we pass a group of people out for a smoke, my daughter in her 5 year old, know it all voice (did I mention she's very loud??) says Mom they are smoking, that's bad and they are all going to DIE !! Okay, I just wanted to crawl into a hole.

[mikiment]

Great stories. No personal ones with our kids yet, but one truly funny one when we had our 3 year old niece with us.

We had gone out to dinner in a large family group, and I was holding our (then) 3 year old niece Paige and playing with her curly hair. She was, and is, an unusually striking child, EXTREMELY pretty who strongly resembled a cross between the "Gerber baby" and an even prettier Shirley Temple (major curls!) Her parents had been asked on several occasions to have her model but chose not to. They also have instilled a VERY STRONG awareness of strangers and the need to stay away from them.

As we sat together in the lobby with my DH by my side, an older, great-grandmotherly type woman with a saintly smile approached us and reached out to gently touch Paige's curls, commenting, "What a BEAUTIFUL little girl! She is just gorgeous!"

Paige took a deep breath, then SCREAMED at the top of her lungs, "A STRANGER IS TOUCHING ME! A STRANGER IS TOUCHING ME!!"

The poor woman turned purple, immediately drew back her hand, and said, "OH my gosh, I am SO sorry! I didn't mean to hurt her! I am SO sorry!" while Paige continued to howl at the top of her lungs, "A STRANGER! A STRANGER!"

I am sorry to say, I could not even speak because my husband and I were laughing so hard we were crying. Obviously, this little old lady meant no harm, but due to the world we live in, Paige's parents had (rightly) instilled the need to be aware of strangers and it just got carried away a little bit.

We still joke about this to this day with Paige, now a (far too cool) 13 year old who we accuse of trying to kill the little old lady at dinner with a heart attack. Kids are great.

[Shay]

I can't wait for Daria to talk but am not anxiously awaiting the sounds of the words whe they come out! Priceless!!

[emjay]

New one to add...
We attended an outdoor 50th anniversary picnic this weekend. My 4yo DD was running around with the many kids there all afternoon. At one point, she ran over to my cousin's wife, pointed to her and screamed to her own little cousin, "Hey M**, remember that THIS IS THE ONE WE DON'T LIKE!" Everyone looked at this poor woman, trying to figure out what she did to get on a 4yo's s**t list!

And I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me. They do make us proud, don't they?

- Maura

[Ktates]

Oh my goodness those stories are a riot - that poor lady will never touch another child again!

[Shay]

emjay...that just shows me that I need to be careful what I say around Daria when she gets older...I would have crawled under a rock!!

[Vicki H]

We were at Babies R Us yesterday looking for a bigger lightweight stroller for Alex for the beach, since we know he will not walk the boardwalk very long without wanting to be held.
I was putting him in different jogging type strollers to see how well he fit since he is very tall and weighs 35 lbs.
I went to put one back and when I turned around, my little monkey was up on this big pedestal they keep the strollers on ( this is pretty high) and was dancing around in front of everyone.
I guess I cannot look away for one second.
I just quickly grabbed him, took him over to dh who was looking at carseats handed him over to daddy and walked away. I was mortified, people probably thought I was a horrible mother.
Vicki