[emjay]

Thank you whole heartedly for the laughs this thread has given me! Teagans Mama - that has to be one of the funniest stunts I've heard! A friend's sons shot her tampon "rocket ships" all over the bathroom, but your story beats that!

Time for me to weigh in - my now 4yo daughter and I were in a bookstore when she was 2 and very articulate. She loves to take greeting cards out of their slots and put them back. After a while, it was time to go. She was mad, so she pulled desperately as I took her hand, and looked around, frantically screaming, "Help me, please help me...I don't want to go with her...please help!" Of course, people stopped in their tracks - not sure what to do. I was mortified. Fortunately, as I began wondering how to prove she was my DD, she became fearful of all the onlookers, and clung to me saying "Mommy, mommy let's go!" I wasted no time!

- Maura

[Kendal]

I think this is the funniest thread in a long time!! My girls are constantly embarassing me. When my daughter Carolyn was about 3 she ran into a woman at the store and looked right at her and said "Hey lady, watch where you're going!". I could have beat her on the spot And just recently my other daughter Hannah, informed me and the rest of the store we were in that the man behind me in line was looking at my butt!! Both me and that poor man almost died.

[qs mom]

My son also has a pen*s - none of those silly words. When he was potty training, he yells out 'mama, my pen*s bigger'. Lots of looks from that.

Today, at WalMart, a man was wearing a cowboy hat - he yelled down the aisle - Hey Cowboy!

[MustangLippy]

We took my bio son aged 2 to see The Incredibles. Not many people in the theater and its dead quiet. Mr. Incredible appears on the screen crammed into his car. A little voice next to me pipes up loudly "He FAT". Of course the piping voice that resonated through the whole theatre belonged to DS. I shushed him. The scene was repeated 2 more times and each time without fail the little voice pipes up and declares "He FAT".

As we are leaving the theatre my DH is carrying DS and someone asks DS if he enjoyed the movie. He looks at them and says "Mr Incredible...he a FAT boy"

I have no idea what his fascination is with Fat. We certainly don't call people fat....and have told him so in no uncertain terms. Since then I've been very careful about mentioning that our cat is fat too!

Thank goodness he hasn't actually said this to anyone in the grocery store....

MustangLippy

[Shay]

I can't stop laughing at your stories! I laugh now but one day i will have my own embarrassing story to tell and it won't be funny at the time I am sure. LOL

Keep the stories coming!!!!

[kryslm]

Now four months since he came to America with us, our oldest son, Joshua, is trying to master the English language. He has trouble saying, "juice." Instead, he says "doosh." Imagine the looks we get in the supermarket when he is calling out loudly, "Want doosh."

Mike

[chucknfw]

One of my favorites along the "doosh" line is when the toddler son of some friends of ours was facinated with kitty cats. He notices a rather buxom lady in the check-out line with a picture of a cat on her chest. Of course junior couldn't resist and pointed right at the woman's chest and said "titty mom, titty. Look mom! Titty."

[qs mom]

I forgot about the looks I got when I brought my son home. My son is Bulgarian. DIE is give. Everything he saw, he yelled at me DIE, DIE, DIE!

[Abdulina]

Our daughter was 6 when she came home 6 years ago. She was learning english but struggling. I'd always say you're ridiculous to my husband when he'd do something silly. Well, our daughter would say..."Daddy, you d**lous." Imagine the looks in public. My husband has yet to live that one down!

Neat thread.

Stephanie.

5 kiddos home--??? more to go!!!( orphanage doctor wants to have a decision by week's end on a child)--tell more later. Never dull around here.

[Dobby]

We had been working on identifying our colors at our local Sears to keep Roman busy in the cart. Pointing at shirts, pants, "what color is that?" As I was pushing the cart along, Roman yells out "BLACK!" I look around... can't find anything that's black. He yells again and points - to the African-American lady standing in line to pay. I almost died! I just said, "yes, honey, her skin is black" and kept rolling. She smiled, luckily. Curiously, he has never pointed that out again.

I also must admit we swore a couple times in front of him, our favorite word s**t. DH and I had used it the same day when we both spilled, but thought we had covered it up by saying "oh, I spilled on my SHIRT." Later that week we were dying Easter eggs with my parents, and you guessed it - some of the dye spilled on the counter and our adorable little son said, "oh, s**t" so matter-of-factly. Lots of laughter... both embarrassed and because it truly sounded cute. We haven't said that word in his presence since.

[regalroy]

O.K., O.K., we had another today. I had been asking our newly to America son to please be good at momma's doctor. (I got a shot today to show him even momma's get shots).
When MY doctor came in, he scrunched up his face in this frankenstein look, and wagged his finger back and forth, saying, be good, be good. He is starting to mimick our expressions (I had no idea he had been catorgorizing them). I got a good look at my face in my doctors office! We had a good day today!
Plenty of first with an older child!

[katrinkathinks]

We came home with H (6) and his little brother F (2) almost exactly 6 months ago. We live overlooking a pond and as the weather is getting warmer, one of our favorite activities is to walk down to play by the pond in the afternoon.

About a week ago, we were down there with some of our neighbors and their 6 little boys collectively (we WILL have to move before the teenage years) when I spotted two painted turtles sunning themselves on a log. They were hard to see so I had all kids pulled in close to see where I was pointing when H pipes up with "Mmmm! Mama make SOUP!" It seems that H's grandfather back in Russia liked to make turtle soup!

[drazil65]

We were eating in a restaurant a couple of months ago and I usually let Adrian find my car keys in my purse to keep him occupied while eating. My husband and I were talking to someone that was walking by and stopped to say hi (DH friend) when we heard Adrian making a choo-choo sound like a train. We all looked over at him and he had made a tampon choo-choo train with 3 tampons that were in the bottom of my purse! I almost died as I scrambled to gather my personal belongings off of the table! Needless to say I now hand him my keys to play with when we sit down!

[chucknfw]

We were at a restaurant the other day and our three year old will speak to anyone that he finds interesting. Well, on this day our teenage waitress was dressed as many do today with not much coverage of her midrif and low cut jeans. When she reached across table to pick up a pick up a plate, she bent over in front of our son who was quick to comment, "Hey, I can see your bottom back there!"

[Annabell]

Probably the most embarrassing for me was the time the neighbor called us at 7:30 in the morning one Saturday to ask whether my husband and I were aware that our 3-year-old was standing stark naked on our (quite high) back deck! Well, no, we'd been asleep, and she had gone to quite some lengths to get both the back door and the screen door unlocked and open.

DH would probably mention the time in the Moscow airport when dear daughter had a MAJOR blowout, we were about to board, we could not find Ladies' room (lots of construction and unhelpful guards), and he had to hose her down and change her in the Men's room under the horrified and disgusted gazes of a group of Mongolian shepherds.