[Schnooks]

wanting to send back child.

Outrageous.

[Kasey]

I haven't seen or heard of the episode, but it is not that uncommon for that to happen--it is called a disrupted adoption, it is a very sad and difficult for all involved. and I have seen it first hand, not myself but friend's relatives. I am amazed that anyone involved would want to go on a talk show and discuss this, I hope at least it will be done in careful and educational manner.
I am tired of the bad TV out there in regards to adoption, it is tiring to see and here about.

[waxhawfamily]

Is this a new episode? And, is it on now, if so, which network / time zone?

[kimber413]

You can read it on Dr. Phil's website. This sounds like a couple who haven't tried very hard to bond with this child. They got pregnant with their second child while in the adoption process, and expect the little adopted boy to behave toward them as their two bio children do. Yet they call him stupid (he has a learning disability), tell him they don't love him and wish they could send him back. I personally think someone should take ALL of their kids.

[Vicki H]

I read about it on the website today. The couple adopted a boy from India. They had one biological daughter and got pregnant during the adoption process.

The child must be special needs , at least that's the way I intepreted when I read about it.

They say after a year they cannot say they love the child and the wish they didn't adopt him.

The way I understand it, Dr. Phill reprimanded them. Not in a mean or nasty way, just let them know that this is their fault and not the childs and that the child needs parents that love him.

Vicki

[marmarcam]

I tivo'd the episode so Reagan couldn't see or hear any of it. I plan to watch it tonight after the kids are asleep. Part of me doesn't want to watch because I know it will only make me mad at the parents and heart broken for that poor little boy. But I also want to study all aspects of adoption both the ugly and the sweet. I think any info I can get can hopeful make me a better mother.

[Schnooks]

actually.. the part about the unwanted adopted child is only the first segment... the rest is other aspects of adoption... even setting a couple up with birthmothers.

[kimber413]

Yeah, I hate to see it, but it seems like Dr. Phil is slipping over into tabloid television...

[marjo]

it seems like Dr. Phil is slipping over into tabloid television

I remember when Maury Povitch had an Oprah type show, now all you see on his show is "You are NOT the father". LOL.

It seems like people always remember the bad stuff when they see these adoption shows, people still tell me about the really bad Romanian orphanages they showed on 60 Minutes (or was it 20/20?).

[hopefully4]

This show made me so angry. The mom has said to the three year old boy's face, "You are stupid and I wish I hadn't adopted you." Now I've had friends go on Dr. Phil and I know that they edit like crazy to make things seem more dramatic than they are, but I cannot imagine any situation where I told a young child that he was not wanted. I can see being angry and frustrated and at my wit's end, but that is what "Mommy time-outs" are for. The behavior described on this show was, in my opinion, borderline abusive. So that brings up a question. Is it better for this family to disrupt his adoption and help him be adopted by a family that could love him or is it better to keep him and try to learn to love him? Does anyone have ideas about that?

[N.Gwinn]

I haven't seen this episode. (I'm not much of a tv watcher and don't plan on trying to watch it.) My gut instinct after reading this was, "get that kid out of there." Emotional abuse is very destructive to a child. If the kid is only three, he is still young enough to be placed in a loving home and overcome the crud these two undeserving adults have heaped on him. Telling a child that is completely unnacceptable under all conditions.

My opinion.

[ddahl]

Slipping into tabloid TV???? From the day he walked onto the Oprah show he was tabloid TV. Just my opinion....

[HappyMomAnna]

It was very clear to those of us who have RAD (reactive attachment disorder) children that this little boy is suffering from RAD and it was in poor taste of Dr Phil to attack the mother as he did....RAD kids nearly always make the mom look insane and out of control and like the horrible person in the situation.... Dr Phill should have been helping this family understand the attachment process and he should have had an expert on attachment there to help this family overcome these issues...I am so disgusted that I emailed the show to complaine.

[Lorraine123]

I agree Anna. I was very upset after seeing the show.

I thought Dr Phil would use this as an opportunity to educate the public on what can happen to inistitutionalized or neglected children. Instead he simply blamed the mother.

If you have never lived with an unattached child, its easy to cast blame. But for those of us who have lived it, we feel sympathy. I agree that the mother should not have said some of the things she said to her son, but don't cast stones until you have been there.

You can't recognize RAD (reactive attachment disorder) from looking at them. These children appear normal. In fact, appearing charming is one of the symptoms.

I felt sympathy for the mother.

[Littleruler3]

Originally Posted by Lorraine123

I agree Anna. I was very upset after seeing the show.

I thought Dr Phil would use this as an opportunity to educate the public on what can happen to inistitutionalized or neglected children. Instead he simply blamed the mother.

If you have never lived with an unattached child, its easy to cast blame. But for those of us who have lived it, we feel sympathy. I agree that the mother should not have said some of the things she said to her son, but don't cast stones until you have been there.

You can't recognize RAD (reactive attachment disorder) from looking at them. These children appear normal. In fact, appearing charming is one of the symptoms.

I felt sympathy for the mother.

regardless of whether the child has "Rad", and that is for a professional to determine, the behaviour described on the website/forum is unacceptable period! Yes, I can sympathize with parents of RAD children, but ultimately that does not give a parent an excuse to heap emotional, psychological abuse because they are stressed, upset and at wit's end!



Mary