[Schnooks]

It is such a bummer to read about all the trouble coming from these changes to laws... I so wanted a child as young as possible, but it seems that's not possible anymore.

And how can I trust that Russia wont turn around and cause more trouble for us.

Thinking of looking at other countries. I don't know.

Schnooks

[Vicki H]

Schnooks,

I would probably give it a few days until the agencies get more information and then discuss it with them before making a decision.

This may help you make the decision.

Best of luck to you,

Vicki

[Kasey]

It definitely can be a tough decision to make, if you are having any second thoughts, research some other countries and then make your decision. There is a risk with any adoption and any foreign country--we are at their mercy, it is hard, just like you are at the mercy of a b-mom in domestic adoption. Changes can happen.
I know alot of agencies were offering opportunities to switch to Kazaksthan programs. You can still adopt infants there, the only downside is it is one long trip, anywhere for 3-6weeks in length.
From what I can tell you can still get infants, just not as young as before, so maybe you are looking at an 8-9-10 month old--but keep in mind that many of these kids are underweight and a little delayed from being in the orphanage so you still will get alot of infant time--my son was almost 6 months old when he came hom and was wearing 3 month clothes, you will most likely get to experience crawling, walking, talking firsts with them.
So definitely explore your other options,make a list of pros and cons for each and then make your decision from there--if you really feel like your child is in Russia, then follow your heart.
Best wishes!!

[kimber413]

I would still send my app in. This is really an issue for folks already in the process, have received referrals, waiting for court, etc. For those just starting, it should be seamless. However, it will mean the child will most likely be 8 months or so before coming home. If that's an issue, then yes, you should check another country such as Guatamala, where the children are younger.

[keithww]

If you want a young girl and a stable system you might want to look at China. Russia is alwasy been changing, read past posts and you will see lots of rumors, some true, some not.

My mother is Slavic and we want older girls, so Russia is still the country for us. There are childern all over the world that need families, take to your agency about what would be best for you.

[kryslm]

Don't give up on all the waiting kids in Russia... I'd send in the application. In the meantime, they should implement all of the changes and get adoptions back on track in Russia. It's a bad situation for everyone in the middle or toward the end of the process right now, but I can't help but think about all the little boys and girls we've seen there who desperately need parents and homes. As Vicki suggested, you might wait a few days to see how all of the changes are implemented. Ask your agency a lot of questions...

Mike

[grannymac]

I also agree with Vicki-wait a few days and see what news there is. I wouldn't discourage anyone from going on with the Russian adoption. There are so many children who need homes and they are all such beautiful children, and so very loving.
It might be a longer wait, but it will be well worth every minute!

[tbristow]

Well, I'll throw my two cents in. I've had my fair share of rides on the roller coaster over this adoption. It took 11 weeks from referral to trip 1. I last held my son 5 weeks ago today. I miss him so much that words cannot describe. And yes, I say "my son" because no matter what happens, he always will be. I will stick this out as long as I have to. The interesting thing is that if we ever adopt again (that's still up in the air...will depend on finances), I would definitely go to Russia again. I watched my dh's cousin's little boy bouncing around the church basement the other day and thought..."You know, he's 20-months-old. Many people think he's too old to adopt and just look at him." He is such a cutie and still a baby in so many ways. The point I'm trying to make is that these children need us. I understand that the Russians are trying to encourage more adoption in their country and I do commend them for it. I don't think this is the solution, but I commend them anyway. I understand what some of you feel about missing the "firsts" so to speak and the early months. In the grander scheme of things though, none of that will matter in a few years when they have the first skinned knee, lose the first tooth, you take them to the first day of school... Right before we got out first trip dates, I bought a book that still brings a tear to my eye. It's called "Let Me Hold You Longer" by Karen Kingsbury. It talks about treasuring the "lasts" (the last time you woke up crying, needing to be rocked; the last time when you ran to me, still small enough to hold; the last time that I comb your hair or stop a pillow fight...) Anyway, there are tons of those in there. I'm having a rough day on all of this myself. Hang in there everybody. There are children over there that need us.

[grannymac]

Theresa, you are so right. These little guys that are 2 or 3 are still babies. They need their mommies and daddies maybe even more than an infant. Hayden at 3 1/2 loves to be rocked and cuddled. I remember telling Laura that she has two babies and that a little boy is mommy's best friend when they are Hayden's age.
I think the rocking and cuddling is even more so with one coming from an orphange. They missed all that when they were infants, so the lucky adopted families have a chance to make up for all the love and babying they missed out on!

[cindyc]

Our Russian adoption has gone very smoothly so far, and even with all the changes, I honestly anticipate continued smooth sailing.

If we ever do this again, I can honestly say that we would look to Russia again without reservations.

Hoping to travel again soon,
CindyC

[GCS]

just my humble opinion...go ahead and submit your application. The people most affected by this change are the people who are waiting for trip one now. By the time you have all your paperwork completed, the system should have caught up with referrals. Your agency should be able to give you a realistic age range for a young girl. If it is an age range you can live with, go for it!
We are considering going back next year - as we just returned with our children in November, updating our dossier wont be as time consuming as starting from scratch. We'll probably look at submitting our paperwork this summer and hope to be home with another boy by end of the year. I think that this is realistic, but I will get my agency's advice and will pad whatever time frame they give us by a few months (like we did this year.)

I know it's really stressful, and if you are worried about losing the application fee ask your agency if it is possible to switch countries early in the process if things look too worrisome for you in Russia. Any good agency should agree to this.

Best of luck!
Christina

[lyndayle]

We have been in this process for two years and two months now, having begun with one agency's Thailand program, and changed to Russia with another agency last spring when Thailand became a dead end. Although it's been a rough ride, and we're on our second iffy Russian referral (the first one was withdrawn when the kids' foster parents decided to adopt them rather than see them leave Mother Russia), I still believe that it is an easier road than trying to adopt domestically.

Russian birth parents will not come knocking at your door with a lawyer to take the kids away, and you don't have to risk the heartache of a foster system shunting all sorts of kids through your home who will never be available for adoption. I've heard too many soul wrenching stories about domestic adoption attempts to even think about trying it.

Russia is still one of the fastest and most flexible programs we know of, so even with all the craziness, it's a good place to be. Just make sure you're in constant contact with your agency, and question everything they tell you. Unfortunately, many agents or their Russian staff aren't completely on the up and up all the time, and you must be vigilant to make sure you're not taken advantage of. Adoptive parents in waiting let their emotions rule too many of their decisions, and sometimes live to regret it. We just had our agency try a pressure move on us that we are in the process of deflecting.

We've found that if you let yourself fall in love with a photo, you have a harder time being rational when something gets sticky. We have to try to remain objective, and be willing to refuse a referral if it just doesn't seem right for us, or if we don't have enough information to make a reasonable decision. It's tough, I know. You learn to ride the roller coaster with your eyes wide open.