[maddensmom]

Hi everyone. I am new here. My son is eight months old and has been home since October 6th. He was adopted from Stavropol.
Most of you know that boy children are not circumcized in Russia. Our doctor here says that because he was not within the first thirty days of his life then we must wait until he is a year old and he must be put under general anes... I just don't know what to do. All the men in my family are cir... But, does it really matter. Is this something I should put him through? It seems like an aweful lot for something that may not even matter. And, the anesthesia! I don't know if I am ok with that.
Have any of you gone through this? Please tell me what you all think. I am really worried about it.
Thanks
Tracy

[votemom]

Tracy, interesting thread.

When my two bio boys were born, we chose to have them cir'd, so they would look the same as Dad. For some reason, we thot that it would be important. Now they are 10 & 14, and they boys rarely are nude with their father, so there really is no comparing.

Our two new boys will be (Lord willing) coming home soon. They are 5 & 6, so I would never put them thru this just for "matching" reasons. It is such a non-issue. In my mind, when they were babies, it was an issue. I don't know why. I hope it's not an issue in the minds of our Russian boys.... but there's no way to predict. They'll be sharing a room and are close in age, so they will definitely see each other in the buff. But they will look the same, so maybe it won't matter to them. I honestly don't know how often they'll see their older brothers in the buff, so they might not even make the connection. (My boys do their share of running around in boxers, but have never been big on running around naked.)

[L-A-J-C-R-C]

Hi Tracy,

When I had my oldest 20 years ago the doctor said the only reason it is done is so they "look" alike.

You will have to teach him to be extra vigilant about cleaning that area tho.

Michelle

[Vicki H]

HI Tracy,

Welcome to the forum. My son is from Stavropol as well.
We adopted him when he was 8 months old. We too asked about circumcision. We were told the same thing, that he needed to be 1 year old and to have it done under general ansesthesia.
We decided to have it done. It was a quick procedure and although we knew he was in pain, it did not seem to bother him the next day that much. His recovery was quick.

This is just our experience, it really is a personal decision. Some have done it and some have not. You may want to speak with the pediatrician and also a urologist as well before making your decision.

Good luck and congratulations on Madden,

Vicki

[Mezzo1]

We circumcised our son because we are Jewish and it is part of his becoming Jewish. We also didn't want our son to have another reason to feel different when he was older and changing in the locker room.

We brought him home at 6 1/2 months old, and did his circumcision at 10 months old. Our social worker suggested that we wait a few months after we got home with him to do it so that he could bond with us and could know that we were the one's who would comfort him if he was not feeling great after the procedure. I thought this was great advice - which we obviously took.

We used a urologist at our children's hospital, and he was put under general anesthesia. Yes, general anesthesia is used when they are over a month or so, but I've never heard that they have to wait until they are 1.

Everything went smoothly. The procedure is quite a minor one, and is similar in difficulty to putting ear tubes in for an ENT.

Best of luck.

Mezzo

[LindsayT]

JUst a quick observation.

There are many reasons to do the circumcision. Such as the faith of being Jewish, and just for tradition.

With the exception of being Jewish, as I believe you should follow the traditions of faith, perhaps you should investigate circumcision.

It is now believed that it is the most sexual part of the penis to be cut away, and it isn't healthier, nor does it create more problems. Read up on it, and see what you think and then make the decision.

My husband and I have opted not to circumcize any of our sons as we believe it to be an age old practice that is outdated. Just as the medical profession often changes their mind about what is healthy and what is not, I believe most are saying its ok not to circumcize.

Lindsay

[MMC66]

Not speaking as a parent here - I just have little girls. But as a nurse, I can tell you that many males have problems with infections due to cleanliness. Sometimes it just happens in boys who don't take the time to make sure everything is completely clean but the diagnosis and treatment can be pretty humiliating. Also as men become older, they can be less diligent so there are large problems with elderly men who have not been circ'ed. Of course, the only situations I see are the ones that have gotten prettty bad so I'm probably biased. Just my 2 cents.

God Bless,
Martha

[TweetyMom04]

Be sure to speak with your insurance company before you decide to go through with it.

Our insurance company views circumsion as cosmetic surgery. But did also inform me that they will pay medical care, medicine, etc each time they get an infection just not the surgery. WHAT!?
Obviously with surgery it would all be over and done with, but they aren't smart enough to see that!

I follow Peds instructions for bathing and keep "it" clean. Something they'll have to learn as they get older, that is, unless insurance suddenly realizes the obvious.

[needpink]

I don't think males get UTI's or yeast infections as commonly as women, but my OB/Gyn said "do it" when my boys were born because
a) children who are young enough to identify themselves as like daddy or like mommy because of visual cues will see apples and oranges when they view circ'd and uncirc'd penises,

b) because the majority of my race, socio-economic, and regional peers circumcize their sons, so in jr. high when they get to public showers and locker rooms, they'll be like the others, and

c) although medically, it's hardly ever a problem for them, they are more likely to pass on something nasty to a partner if they're not than if they are, and if by chance they do get a non-circ'd related problem, suffering through it will probably turn out to be more involved and more painful than the original circumcision would have been.

Well, that's all I heard about it from my doctor.

-Sam

[jimpol]

I have to chime in here. I always that we would have our son circumcised when we adopted him, but I started doing my research and eventually decided against it. As always it is up to each individual family to do what they want, but I learned that in the U.S. now only about 50% of boys are circumcised at birth. A couple that I know just had their child in a fairly rural community and the doctor asked them whether or not they wanted to circumcise their son. They were surprised that it was even a question. The doctor told them the pros and cons of both.

By the way L-A-J-C-R-C - our pediatrician told us not to do anything extra in cleaning our son's "area." Our bodies know how to clean themselves.

My husband who is circumcised didn't want to circumcise our son. If there is a medical reason or religious reason then okay, but why tamper with the human body. Plus, I want to know how often boys stand around naked comparing the way they look. I know that women don't do that!

[Bcelli]

We had a medical requirement to circ our oldest son. He was 2 (adopted at 5.5 months.) We have not had any problems with No. 2 son (adopted at 2.5 years), so we have one done and one undone. They DO notice the difference - both of them. I would have No. 2 done if there was a medical reason, but social reasons are not enough to put him through the risk of a GA procedure. No. 1 son recovered very quickly - like by the next morning - when his was done. It's a purely personal choice with no right/wrong decision.

[GCS]

We decided not to circ our son unless we were told it was medically necessary. He is 3 years old and just had his first physical last week. I asked my pediatrican if there was anything special I needed to know as far as cleaning or watching for infection. I did not ask her advice on getting him circ'd as we had already decided we would not do it for social reasons, but she chimed in that it was good we weren't considering having it done. She felt it was unnecessary and that the body would keep itself clean.
Christina

[stephw3boys]

None of my boys are circ'd. THeir dad is . I did my research and decided to let my husband decide. He researched and decided to leave them intact. At ages 7,5 and 3 - none has noticed that they are different from dad or some friends (I know some of their friends since they were in diapers and I know). I dont know the ratio, but not all kids are circ'd at all.
It is a personal decision, so do your research.
ANd as many people know boys who had problems and had to be circ'd, there are many with botched circumcisions (a nephew) of mine...

[grannymac]

Hayden's Dr. told Laura he saw no reason to have Hayen circ., and that she only had to keep the outside clean for the next couple years. When he reaches about 6 the foreskin is moveable and then good hygene will eleminate infections.
As for as other boys noticing the difference--Hayden's cousin Riley is 5 months older and when the boys are together they are inseperable. Riley taught Hayden to peezit standing up and they love to take their baths together. Neither one has noticed a difference in the other and at their age investigation is a big deal.

[Pattyo11275]

I must commend the board for being so polite and sensitive to others feelings. This can be a touchy subject.

My 2 cents...
Our boys are not cir., and DH is. Asked DH if he knew the cir. state of HIS father and he said he had no idea! Turn out his father is not cir. So much for the argument of comparing and thinking your different from family/dad.
I have taught my girls proper hygene and will do the same for my boys as well. Just goes under the heading of what parents need to do like washing you hands after the bathroom, and using kleenix. With proper hygene, there goes the argument of most of those nasty infections (like girls UTI)

Dont think it really matters, and if makes a difference to our boys in the future, then we'll let them decide. We just couldnt make a decisions like that for them.