[Vicki H]

Did anyone ever go away overnight and feel terrible about it.
My dh and I are going away for one night , Alex will be well taken care of and I still feel horrible anyway.

Has anyone else ever felt like this? All these terrible things keep going through my mind.

I am just venting, I am probably acting crazy.

Vicki

[mgibson]

We have done this once. Yes its terrible. We had had the kids home for a least a year and half before we had the opportunity to go on a overnight without them. My dh's parents kept them and my sone got sick. Oh i felt awful. While we wer gone we also began to wonder what we talked about for ten years before we got the kids. In fact we called them during our "romantic" evening dinner! We are no longer adults - we're PARENTS!! haha

I have also gone away for several days in a row on business and hate that too. (Ok I have to admit its a love/hate thing). Being alone in a quiet comfy hotel room and actually sleeping well was great but I just hated not seeing the kids and felt oh so guilty. I know its hard for bio moms too but I just cant help but think that I am somehow doing something horrible to esp. my son by not being with him. He's more sensitive to separation than his sister. GUILT GUILT GUILT.

What do you do tho. We cant protect them from everything - and I am sure you guys could use a parenting break! They are resilient - I am sure much more so than we give them credit!

Try and have fun! Melissa

[Dobby]

We were home almost 4 months when my BIL got married in Atlanta. Since my husband was a groomsman, we decided to leave Roman with my parents (as I'd be "in charge" the whole time and wouldn't really get to enjoy anything). We were gone THREE nights. I cried as we drove away, cried again when we got on the plane... but then got two of the best nights of sleep I'd had since before we went to Russia.

Then, of course, I just wanted to get home, home, HOME to see Roman again. My parents said he did fine, but was also getting restless and kept pointing at our pictures that last day.

[waitinginnj]

I had to take a business trip for a couple of nights and days and felt awful leaving my little one. She did fine with my sister though. We talked each day and she was glad to see me (yes I stressed about that) when I returned. It was about 11 months after getting home.

For bed time, my sister kept her up late to get her tired and then put her in the room with her and my brother-in-law. She sleeps there during the day, as my sister does daycare for her 2 times per week.

The funniest thing was as soon as she would lay her down and the lights were all out, she would whisper to my brother-in-law trying to get him to go watch tv with her downstairs, like my sister couldn't hear. They had the hardest time not cracking up.

You live through it and it does do you some good to get the break. It will cost you a present!

[Waiting4Skip]

We got Skip from the Orphanage on 20 August but didn't arrive home til 12 September. Twice since we've been home we left him overnight - though both times we were less than 10 miles from home. Our son, 23 stayed with him the first time, and both he and my daughter 22, stayed with him the second time. We didn't "leave" him til dinner time both times, and were home by 10 a.m. both times as well. For me, who has put work aside for now to raise him, I especially looked forward to the time away, but I must admit I did miss him. ONce was on our anniversary, the other, dh's birthday. We have a great time both times, yet I'm not sure who was happier when we got home, me, dh or Skip. He loves his brother and sister and they're fantastic with him, so we knew he was in good hands.

The first time around (20 something years ago) I rarely left my kids and it was a mistake. I truly believe that both parents AND children benefit from the time away. Just as both dh and I support & encourage each other to have hobbies and interests apart from the other, it's equally important for our kids to have fun without US. And, just as I appreciate my dh more when we are apart for any time, I believe kids have the sam appreciation of their parents.

Of course it does depend on the child(ren) as far as when they're ready to left with others ESPECIALLY, adopted children who may have separation/bonding/abandoment issues. We didn't know how quickly and how well he would adjust, and since transitioned so well, we were able to leave him rather soon after we got him home.

Judy

[ahnasmom]

Vicki-

We had to leave Arianna for the first night when we went on trip #1 for Alex...it was so, so hard...and then trip #2....UGH! She did much better than I did.

This weekend we are going to Key West for 3 nights and will be having Grandma and Grandpa stay at our house with both kids....I'm nervous but we are only a 3'ish hour drive from home, so I feel better. That and the prospect of 3 nights sleep!!

He will probably have a ball and you will probably feel guilty for no reason...so enjoy and check in on him often!

[bratgirl]

We haven't gone away without the kids yet, but last weekend we did leave them with a sitter for the first time and were out until 1 am - so we didn't see them until the morning. We had him call us when they were asleep and after that we were able to relax. Also we were actually still in the neighborhood - baby steps I know, but it was a start. I can empathise with fear of going out of town without them.

Just go and have a good time. It's only a night. Hayden had so much fun with his sitter, I really don't think he missed us at all! I'm sure Alex will do just fine.

[Vicki H]

Thanks for all of the advice. I know everything will be fine. We have gone out for the evening in the past and he was fine, but Mommy and Daddy were always there when he woke up in the morning, this will be the first time we won't.
I just keep telling myself we will be gone less than 24 hours.


Vicki