[DaniJ]

I know I am feeling sorry for myself, but that is the way it is. I'm working hard on it, but....
My sister called today with the "good news" that she is expecting her second. She always said she didn't want to have kids, while I always wanted to be a mom to many. I tried really hard to be happy for her, but she made comments that hurt (not intentionally, just thoughtless) such as "we are SO not ready for two" and re: my adoption not going through "well, that was your choice" (to adopt rather than conceive.... I reminded her that the miscarraige was NOT my choice...)
All this on the eve of hearing more bad news about our process, more delays, more going absolutely nowhere after eight months. I was already struggling to keep a stiff upper lip about it all, and to keep christian about the people involved in this seemingly endless nighmare we are involved in. This just blew it. It knocked me off my percarious perch. I just need some hugs from people who understand how much this hurts.

[Mykidsmom]

Dear DaniJ,

The waiting is so hard, it is at this time we must turn it over to GOD.
You have done everything humanly possible to get your child home.

It was during these times of waiting that I would start wondering what my baby was doing, where it lived or even if it was born yet.

Your baby is out there, it WILL be arriving home when the time is right. We all hope it is very soon.

Mykidsmom

[BrandyHagz]

DaniJ

People sometimes open their mouths without thinking about the affect it will have on those around them. I’m certainly not going thru what you are…we’re just now starting the research phase, yet again…so we’re a long way away from adopting…but it doesn’t make the comments any easier to take.

I have a fairly fertile sister-in-law that makes those types of comments…even though I’ve talked to her about how hard it is for me to hear. She doesn’t understand that I’d give anything to be able to get pregnant…even though the two full term pregnancies I have had were miserable.

Infertility is something many people don’t understand…coupled with adoption…wow, its like you’re speaking a totally different language to some folks.

Sometimes it’s hard to have thick skin…especially regarding something as emotional as adoption.

I’ve been reading your story, and I’m sorry things are so chaotic right now…I hope that things improve soon, and you have a child to love and care for…it will make all of this pain a distant memory.

[DaniJ]

We're not even waiting yet, after eight months. We are just trying to get our agency to do what we paid them to do and submit our papers. We started in March and we are not even on a waiting list for a child.

[BrandyHagz]

DaniJ,

I don’t know what agency you are using…but from reading your story…I don’t see how they even stay in business.

Do they have a refund policy? If so, have you considered locating a different agency to represent you?

[Mykidsmom]

DaniJ,

I had the same thought about the refund policy. You maybe could get them moving by finding out when and how much money you could get back and any paperwork that they have that you could switch to another agency.

I did not know your complete story until I just read your earlier post.

Mykidsmom

[kbrandi]

I would switch agencies if at all possible. It may be worth the money. We are very happy with the one we're using. If you want the name just pm me. Our thoughts and prayers are with you whatever you decide.

Tina

[ldr]

My thoughts are with you. Hang in there. LISA

[britfish]

I'm so sorry you've been having such a tough time. This process is so trying when it runs smoothly (does it ever?), the ruts we encouter are so hard to get over. Keep your chin up and just have faith that it WILL happen, it is just a matter of when.

[stephw3boys]

Hugs to you..

[dvona]

I was in the process nearly two horrible years, when it was either give up or find another path. It was SO frustrating and I really felt defeated, but that is the last BIG hurdle I needed to overcome to find my daughter. And yes, sometimes well-meaning family members felt like my worst enemies at times---but now this little one is such an example of God's Grace, that I feel I am the luckiest person alive. This will happen---you will be a mother---hang in there!!!

BIG HUGS,

Donna

[dlhall]

I know how thoughtless comments by others can really hurt. Sometimes a good cry is what is needed--and then lots of chocolate . Just know that you're not alone and that it WILL work out--you just need to put your trust in God. Hugs. I'll keep you in my prayers.

Liz

[amanda_p]

I lost my little girl last year and even though we have our son now it still hurts to hear that word, "pregnant". It still makes me so uncomfortable. I am so sorry that your sister doesnt understand. It sounds like you need to look into another agency....I would definitely file something with the Better Business Bureau to help other couples in the future.

[marjo]

((((((((((hugs)))))))))) to you.

I know how hard this waiting is, and when people make comments it just makes you want to blow. We will get through this, but sometimes I think it takes the patience of a saint.

[angiesavage1]

DaniJ,
I'm so sorry about all you've been going thru. I also know the pain of having close loved ones get pregnant so easily when I'd give anything just to have it happen to me once. Right after we were told we were never going to be able to get pregnant, we found out a family member was expecting. It was totally out of the blue and hurt almost as much as being told we couldn't have a baby. I had to endure everyone calling me with the "good news". While I'm very happy for them, I hurt for me.

I agree with trying to get a refund from your agency. If you are interested in any information on my agency, please pm me & I'll be glad to share.