[LHecht]

Hi all. Is anyone on this board homeschooling, or thinking of homeschooling? I'd love to hear how it went for you and your child.

Cheers,
Lisa

[sands]

It is SO funny that you are posting this today. DH and I just had a huge discussion about this last night. I was reading "Bringing Up Boys" by James Dobson and there is a HUGE push for homeschooling in there. Up to reading that chapter, we were set on sending our kids to a private Christian school all the way through high school. However, after reading that, I am leaning toward homeschooling at least K-8 - then integrate at high school.

I am SO torn. I don't know if I am cut out to home school. PLUS, if I do home school, that will pretty much eliminate the possibility of adopting again in the future (no time to do and no time to bond with the new children). Originally, I was thinking when the kids turn 4, start the adoption process over so by the time they are in kindergarten, we would get 2 more kids. I dunno.

There are SO many positives to home school - way more positives than negatives. People who think homeschooled kids are social outcasts have never looked at homeschooled kids. We know a ton of them at our church and there is a MARKED difference in both intelligence AND demeaner (much more polite) than the publically schooled kids. No offense out there!!!

What are your thoughts?

[mileigh]

We have homeschooled for the past 6 years. We have four children and are adopting a toddler. Homeschooling is a great choice for us and works well for our family. Most of the other adoptive families that we know personally also homeschool. Many of these families have adopted older children and have felt that their homeschooling helped to ease their child's transition.

When we had an IA doc review Nik's medical he mentioned that he felt that our homeschooling lifestyle would be the "optimin enviroment" for him. I don't take that to mean it would be the best choice for every family but rather the best for ours.

As to the issues of bonding with the new child I think that I will have a lot of time to spend with him. My time actually teaching is only a few hours and the rest of the time it is guiding the older children, answering curious questions, playing with the younger ones. In our homeschool when the daily work is done then they are done, they do not have to wait for the rest of their class to finish before going onto the next subject. When our oldest daughter was in private school she was there from 8:30 until 3:00 but when she came home she only spent 2-3 hours on school. (she was in third grade at the time)

Sorry this has been so long! I am glad that we have so many choices and that we have the freedom to make the best ones for our families. Best of luch to you in making yours. For us, homeschooling has been amazing and we look forward to adding Nik into the clan.

-Leigh
Wife to Joe
Mama to Rachael, Bridget, Miranda, Joshua and soon to be Nik

[mommyjoss]

A family at our church adopted 5 siblings (in addition to their own 4!) from Russia and are homeschooling....I was planning to homeschool anyway, but she brought up a point that I had not really thought of. Her adopted kids were 8 yrs - 16 yrs when they came home - she asked a great question - "What would a school do with them? They don't speak English and are behind anyway from being in the orphanage for so long..." The answer - ESL and DSL. In our area, those programs spell disaster. (Other areas may not have this problem).

I had never really stopped and thought about the kids not remaining in a typical classroom setting. (Probably because we were planning to homeschool anyway). It would be a great question to put to your local/private school and then weigh the answer.

Just food for thought!

PS - The kids have been in their forever family for a little over 2 years and are doing fantastic! The younger ones do not really even have an accent when they speak English. Great social skills, confident kids - AMAZING GRACE!

[LHecht]

Thanks so much for responding. I love to hear these success stories. Like Sands I am not sure I'm cut out for it, but we would like to give it a try. Our older soon-to-be-daughter is 7. We were considering sending her to a small private school that I know is good (her cousins attend) and is experienced with ESL. Though I keep hearing that she'll learn English faster in school with other kids, I really want her to spend as much time as possible with us to help our attachment. She's already had to share her caregivers with 9 other kids for all her young life! I also don't buy the "socially maladjusted" bit. The few homeschooled kids I know are socially active and a pleasure to be with. We also figure with the shorter school day at home, she will be able to participate in more activities - she's very into the arts, especially music, poetry and dance - than we would want her to if she was also in school 6 hours a day. I guess we'll play it by ear and figure out what would be best for her once we spend that month with her in Russia. Now if I can just figure out how to develop a curriculum and all that!

Best to all,
Lisa

[Agapi]

My husband and I were considering private school perferrably Christian and toyed at the idea of homeschooling.

A while back I had spoken with a teacher acquaintance of mine to "pick her brain" on the subject of homeschooling. I thought that being an educator herself she would be open to all forms of learning and doing what is best for the individual child. WRONG! She totally balked at the idea. She stated things like "children don't learn to socially interact" and "if you keep them sheltered, they will not learn survival skills."

First of all, my children will not be hermits living in a cave. There are plenty of opportunities to socially interact. I guess she's never heard of church, sports, etc. Second, my idea of sending a child to school is for them to get an education. Not to learn how to take cover during a shooting. She is entitled to her opinion, but what I realized is that her opinion was not one that was well informed.

Since then we have been researching homeschooling on the internet and only talk about it with others who are considering it or doing it. This is something that is not for every family or child. Every parent needs to do what they feel is right for their child(ren). We feel it is the best choice and will at least give it a try.

[gkasche]

As a homeschooling mother (8 years) and adoptive mom of a large family I thought I would reply to this post. My bio sons went to grade school (very small country school) at first and it soon became very apparent to me even in this nice environment that homeschooling was the way to go. We have now completed 8 years of homeschooling and I can say without any hesitation that it was the best thing we could have done for our children. My oldest son graduated in June being homeschooled from sixth grade on. He decided he wanted to enlist in the Air Force. The recruiter didn't know what to do with him...he had never processed anyone who had been homeschooled. He stressed to us that John needed to test well or they would not take him....long story short..he scored a 96 out of 99 on the entrance test. Many people have great misconceptions about homeschooled children. They feel they are social ignorant...behind in skills...etc. This cannot be further from the truth. All of my children are VERY social. They have no problem speaking respectfully to anyone outside our home...trying new things...and are very self confident. They are very self-taught and are book smart. We belong to a large co-op of homeschoolers...every teen is respectful to their parents...hard working...and polite. There is a marked difference in our church between those who are homeschooled and those who are not. I am very proud of my children and how they are turning out socially. They are very active in the community and definately not the social idiots that everyone warned me they would be. With our first son now graduated from the Air Force basic training..and in Tech school. This year we will be schooling our other bio son grade 10...our oldest adopted daughter...grade 3 and our second adopted daughter...grade K/1. And beyond that I a three year old adopted daughter who will be working on her "school work" to join in with the rest of us. Our school time is only about 3 hours a day. I homeschooled for years before the adoptions started. I found that definately there was no problems with bonding and the time was there. There is more time for bonding when you are done with school by noon. Do not ever let anyone sway your decision to homeschool if it is in your heart. Research well and join others in your area who homeschool. Take field trips together etc. I have found that my bio sons who were homeschooled have a lot of patience with their younger sisters...they have no problem helping them get dressed or just giving them a hug and carrying around the little one if she needs to be held. People say to me all the time...not only do they not know how I handle 5 children...but that they simply could not homeschool and don't know how we handle it. I LOVE HAVING MY CHILDREN HOME ALL DAY...I would lastly like to say that for adopted children...having the chance to stay home in a quiet environment with one on one for education and the extra bonding time is very beneficial. OK...I have rambled enough. Best Wishes to you all. Karen in PA...Mom to John 18, Aaron 15, Sejona 8, Anjali 5 and Maya 3

[sands]

What curriculum do you all use? I would love to start researching this stuff NOW while I have the time instead of once the kids are here and I need to make a panicked and not well-informed decision.

I think I am leaning toward it. AHHHHHH.... SO MANY DECISIONS AND THE KIDS AREN"T EVEN HERE YET!!!!