[grannymac]

My youngest grandson, Riley, was close to 3 when he finally threw away his binkie. He's 3.5 now and still sleeps with his blue blankie. During the day he's all boy, non-stop, and into everything, but at night he's still a baby. When they get tired of their little "securities" they throw them away, or simply forget about them. They grow up so fast, and who else is going to know it they have a night-night bottle, a binkie or a blankie!

I mentioned cookies in my previous post--out of a package, not homemade. This grandma still works full-time and hates to cook!

[ahnasmom]

Grannymac-

We have 4 sets of grandparents and 2 great-grandma's in our family...the closest in my MIL and her friend 4 hours away by car. The rest are over 1200 miles away. My daughter (and son eventually) has a great a relationship with all of them. She knows who they are, who belongs with who, recognizes them by sight and by voice. We have made a special effort to constantly keep them involved in her life (not that that's a problem with the grandparents ) and she truly does have a great bond and relationship with them.

When we were introducing anyone new to her, we let her set the pace...no agressive hugs and kisses...no loud voices (DH has a big Italian family,) etc...just let her warm up to them, which she did quickly since she 'knew' who they were from my stories and photos. Every night I would tell her who loved her...the whole family and closest friends, name by name! I have read about grandma's reading a story on video and then sending the book and video to the child, attaching photos of the giver on gifts that are sent so the kids know who is sending them; things like that are so special and keep the relationship great.

You sound like a good grandma already and because of your concern regarding and recognizing the 'potential' issues, you will be fine with your new ones too!

And Miss Arianna who will be 3 in one month still has her night time bottle of milk! Like you guys have said, they grow up so fast and if that one little thing makaes her happy, so be it! (I had a bottle at night until I was 4 )

[CarolinaWife]

GrannyMac - your post makes me think of my own mom and mom-in-law! I've been reading a lot about attachment parenting, and although I don't have a little one of my own, yet, here's what I've been able to gather. It's not that others cannot see or visit the child at all, just that the parents should be the only ones providing basic care to the child - feeding, bathing, dressing, changing, comforting, putting to bed. It seems a little like training/conditioning to me - so that the child gets used to turning to his/her parents for what he/she needs, knowing that those two people are the ones he/she can always turn to. I suppose that since they've been brought up with an assortment of caregivers in the orphanage, they're not used to having just one or two.

Anyhow, I think it's great that you're here and learning about this. I'm going to have to find a way to explain all this to my Mom and Mom-in-law and not make them think I'm just hogging the baby!

[bratgirl]

I really like the idea of having quiet time with a bottle at night. I can definately see how it would be great for bonding. I like the idea with the massage after bathtime with lotion. What a soothing way to end a day of playing! The one thing about having adopted vs. bio children that does make me sad is that I won't have had a chance to breastfeed. I really like the idea of nursing down before bedtime as a comfort thing for the first year or two. I have several friends who do this (although few people know they do) and it is a wonderful time between mom and baby. The night time bottle will be my version of this.

Personally - I didn't keep my nighttime bottle for very long. My little sister (who is 18mos younger) was whining for her chocky bottle one night when she was maybe 2 yo - I took her by the hand pulled her to the kitchen and gave her a glass of tap water and told her big girls drink water at night! She never had a bottle at night after that! Ask grannymac- it's a true story!

When my sister finds out we plan to have bottles or sippy cups (depending on age) at night - she will probably give me some good natured teasing - since at 3 yo I had such a strong opinion about nighttime bottles!

[grannymac]

Thanks for your replies-I love the video idea!! Guess I'd better not read Little Red Riding Hood-I do a pretty good mean wolf.
We don't need the kids terrified of their goofy grandma! Personally, I think Laura should let the kids have vacation time next summer with me. I'm afraid I won't be able to the ROTTEN spoiled stage, living so far from them. Their mother deserves spoiled kids that throw super tantrums!! (Just a little payback)
Yes, it is true that she broke her little sister of her night-night bottle, and she's been bossing her around for the past 30 years!!
Cherie