[telebabe]

Any feedback/recommendation/do's and don'ts regarding blind referrals (that is: going to Russia on your first trip without having any referral, video or any pictures)?
Thanks to those who already responded to this topic in my other thred ;-)

Steff

[toria]

We are traveling blind, have not been yet though. I am just happy to know that i can evaluate the child myself before making a decision. And i think i will "know" my child when i see him/her.

Will update when we return home from first trip (we are waiting for the call )

[Kendal]

We adopted our twin girls with a blind referral. All we had before our first trip was their approx. age and sex and were told they had general good health. It was a very scary feeling flying half way across the world to meet children that we knew were desperately wanted but had never seen. For us it worked out and we have two beautiful, smart, sweet, funny little girls. What I will tell you is to try and get as much info as you can from the director about the child and take as much viedo as you can of them to show to a doctor when you get back. And just go with you gut. If they look healthy they probably are, if they don't do your best to figure out if it's correctable or something you can live with. Keep in mind when you see them that they more than likely will not look like the chubby little American kids you are use to seeing. Both our girls had a raging case of the chicken pox, shaved heads and were pretty small by most standards. But three year later they have gain 20 lbs, grown 10 in and look like any other kid on the street (except way cuter) Good luck to you, try not to be scared and hope that your agency and those who work for them would not match you with a child that was not close to what you requested.

Kendal
twin girls from Pskov 2001
working on boy

[J&T]

We went to Russia in the spring totally "blind." We were told that they had several children there that would fit our profile. When we arrived we met with the MOE and were handed a paper with the children she (the MOE) had selected for us. They were siblings, both several years older than our preferred range. We were told that there were no younger children available.

We visited each of them each day for a week. My husband and I tried very hard to figure out a way to fit these kids into our family.(We have 4 boys). The harder we tried, the less "right" it felt. These two needed so much. They deserved their own mommy and daddy without brothers. It was the hardest thing we have ever done, but we declined.

I guess what I am trying to get across to you is that it seems the reps have only so much control. who they would pick for you may not be who is offered. It was a very difficult and emotionally volitile time. It is hard to make decisions with so little info. We decided that in our hearts we wanted an infant. We will not go "blindly" again.

I wish you the best, and hope I do not sound too pessimistic. I know it must work for some.

[Vicki H]

We traveled blind for our son. The best advice that I can give is to ask a lot of questions before agreeing to go to Russia. We wanted and infant under 12 months, we did not specify gender.
We made sure before we left that the child was definately under 12 months and was in relatively good health.
Everything worked out fine for us, I actually prefer this because I had no picture or video to get attached to a child should we lose the referral. My only true problem with this was they gave us 10 days to get to Russia to see our son.
He was 6 months old and just off the registry when we arrived and he has no health problems.
I would travel blind again. Hope this helps.


Vicki

[jhscats]

As I have posted before, our agency called us saying that there was a 2 1/2 year old boy that was available. When we got there, the MOE got a printout and looked at all the available children. At first, she tried to refer us a four-year-old, but we told her we were really hoping for a child under three. She then gave us a referral for a 2 1/2 year old who will hopefully be ours sometime in August. It turns out there were also three other toddler boys that were available in the region at the time as well.

I think a lot depends on the particular region, how many children are available, and on the MOE. We consider ourselves extremely fortunate in how well it worked out for us.

I know it's scary, but good luck!

Joan

[toria]

We are traveling blind (not sure when) and it is scary to think about. At first, i thought it was the only way to go. Why wouldn't i want to evaluate the child myself instead of looking at a few pictures? Our agency told us that the MOE would provide us with a list of children in our criteria. We are now realizing that this is not always the case. It is scary to think about flying across the world and you don't know what is going to happen.
I am just realizing that what is meant to be is what will happen!!!!If there is something to be learned from this whole process, I have learned that I only have so much control of what goes on in my life!!!!!!!!!

[J&T]

Toria
It seems from the threads that we were in the minority with our problems. Hopefully, you will have a much more responsive MOE. My only advise is to be as specific to your letter to the minister as possibile and stand your ground if what is presented to you does not fit your family If we could have thought straight at the time we would have known she was bluffing about other children's availability. We just kept trying to make it right.
Lots of prayers.
Jan

[reneetaylor]

Hey Steff - I just wanted to add that you should definitely stand your ground and make your wishes known about what age/gender you want. When I went over on my first trip, it was to meet a 9 month old boy, but when I got there, the facilitator said that he was no longer available and that they had plenty of older (3-5 yr old) children that I could choose from. I stood my ground and told them that I specifically asked for an infant under 12 months old, so they scrambled around and finally located a babyhouse about 3 hours away that had babies available who were under 1 yr old. It was there that I met my daughter. She was one of three children who were brought out to me. She was healthy, fat and happy (once we gave her a little rattle to play with). I was so glad that I stuck to my guns and persisted. I know that the directors want to find homes for the harder to place children, but if you have your heart set on a particular age, then you should be able to ask for that and get it.

One more thing - I was unable to take pictures or video of my daughter because I did not commit to adopt her at that time. I wanted to have her medical info reviewed by a specialist after I got home, so they refused to allow pictures. That was a big down side for me, because I had to come home and tell my family and friends that I was getting a daughter instead of a son, and that I had zero pixs to show them. Everyone had to wait an additional month until I actually traveled back and picked her up.

Good luck on your trip!

Renee
Mom to Mariah (7 yrs old - born in Russia)
Mom to Aidan (20 months old - born in Guatemala)

[toria]

Jan and Renee, thanks for those messages! If i hadn't heard this info and it happened to me when i got over there i would be really thrown! You don't want to feel like to need to upset anyone in Russia (we are relying on them to help us become a family) but i'm glad to know we need to stand our ground if we encounter that! Thanks!