[soontobe]

I need some encouragement. We've been in the adoption process for about a year now. Our dossier has been turned in 5 months ago and sent to Russia and we're still being told that we have about another 3-4 months to wait. I'm a very Christian person - but I'm so tired of hearing the response 'it will all happen in God's timing'. I'm human with human emotions and that response just does not ease my stress from having to wait SO LONG!!!! It is especially disappointing when we ask our agency questions and that's the response that we get - 'it will all happen in God's timing' That seems to be their (DEFAULT) answer when we ask the hard questions that they can't seem to answer. Since their human hands are involved in the process - is it really God's timing - what if they're human hands are making a mistake and not doing everything they can to move the process along????

Please give me some encouragement and let me know if anyone else out there is in the same boat?

[toria]

Hi, sorry to hear you are still waiting. Are you waiting for a referral or to travel??? Boy, girl?? It is hard to wait....we were told we would be traveling in april and since then week to week we hear that we will know our travel dates the next week. Frustrating to say the least. Every Friday comes and I say "there goes another week!" There is just so much to coordinate apparently. Try to keep busy as i have seemed to put my life on hold and that is not working!!! Now i am actually planning things in advance instead of not doing anything because i think i may travel!!!!!!! Thinking of you!! Hope it speeds up for you.

[april*rain]

I empathize with you, and unfortunately I don't have any words of wisdom. It is SO hard to wait.. and wait... and wait. All I can say is try to keep busy and enjoy each day. And keep posting here, we know how you're feeling.

[britfish]

Although we have only been waiting two months, I know what you mean. And I say only two months which actually feels like 2 years sometimes. The only thing that is getting me through is seeing how expenisve the airline tickets are in the summertime. money is so tight, I know we will be much better off finacially if we don't travel in the summer. I try to appeal to my logical side, but then I think, hey thats why we have plastic! I don't know what I will do if we don't have the referral in the fall though. Good luck, there are plenty of us w/ you on the wait.

[bratgirl]

We have also been waiting 5 mos since our dossier was sent to Russia. We were told 4-6 mos, so we are hoping to hear something soon. Waiting is a major bummer. We are right there with you!!!!

[marjo]

We have been waiting awhile too, it is hard seeing people who started after us get referrals left and right. I am laughing about their DEFAULT answer, our agency says "it's a leap of faith" for everything. We do know it's a leap of faith, but this seems to be the answer for every error they make too. aaargh.

[Javalita]

Yep, waiting too. Was pretty down about the whole thing last week, but feeling better this week. I know I need to get things done, but I am not motivated. It is also frustrating because it is difficult to make long term plans - i.e. family coming to visit, etc. because you don't know when you may get "the call".

[toria]

I am trying to make plans and not put my life on hold. I was proud of myself today as i bought Don Henley tickets for July 2. If i travel i will be happy to give someone a nice gift I had tickets for David Bowie in April and figured i would miss the concert because i was going to be in Russia. I wasn't and the concert was great. It is also our anniversary on July 1 so we need to celebrate "us". Impatiently waiting but trying to keep busy!!!

Remember Lisa's James Taylor quote!!!!!!!!

[Military Momma]

Trust me...I know how you feel. Here is what I did to overcome all of the "waiting" phase.

I enjoyed all the things I knew I wouldn't have time for with a child. I got a manicure/pedicure, went to the movies for the heck of it, shopping for as long as I wanted, cuddled with my DH with candles lit, and just overall enjoyed life. I'M SO GLAD THAT I DID~! Will is a handful and those things are a dream for me! I love to take baths and the only one getting the bath is Will!!! LOLOL I'm lucky to get the shower.

So let me tell you....enjoy your life NOW as it's going to go a totally different path once our child is home. I don't regret having my child but doing the things for "me" during the waiting phase made it seem shorter and bearable.

Hope this helps,
Lisa

[twong]

I feel for all who are waiting. It is excruciating. We received a referral in December, made our first trip in March and finally, last week received a court date in July (7 months after our referral/4 months after our first visit). It seems like my head will explode at times. There is no easy way to get through the waiting period. Our agency used to tell us to work on the nursery to kill time. So we did, and wound up finishing it two months ago. Only depressed us more to have the room done and have no baby. We started our process a year and a half ago and never thought it would take this long. Hang in there!!



Tracey

[soontobe]

HI everyone!

I'm the OP.
You all are so sweet and encouraging!! It really helps a lot to hear your encouraging words and to know that I'm not alone.

Marjo - you said it exactly!!! That's exactly what we're going through with our agencies default answers. Even when we ask what their process is for their waiting list. We just get a generic answer that doesn't answer our question. One of my friends who used the same agency asked the question about the agencies waiting list process - and she got the answer 'i'm not really sure' CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT!!! And anytime we ask how much longer it will be or what is the reason for it taking so long - we get 'I know the waiting is hard' and 'it's all in God's timing'. NO KIDDING - and that doesn't answer my question. I also had an email from them in March that had a paragraph that was identical to an email I got in May. So they must just cut-n-paste their answers from a 'cheat sheet'. Real personal huh??!!

Thanks again for all your encouraging words. You really helped me a lot.

[Ktates]

I keep telling myself that when all the waiting is finally over it will be so worth it I will gladly do it again - of course this works some days better than others.

[deas]

I have to agree with Lisa..... do things to pamper yourself.

I remember the waiting days, they were so awful... we had dates, and then they were changed at the last minute, and it was absolute torture.... BUT..... you will see the light at the end of your waiting tunnel, and........ it will all be worth it!

I have been home about 2 1/2 months now, and I don't even have time to go to the bathroom!! (LOL) Really, try to keep busy and do for yourself the things you won't be able to do, once baby arrives. Just the simple things like shopping for yourself, by yourself, take time to be by yourself and with your husband. Enjoy the quiet times with each other, they will soon disappear!! I know it seems silly now, and you think, but I want that little person now!!! Trust me.... Enjoy yourself, and pass the time. Good luck to you!!

Meredith

[Xanny]

Hey! That's MY James Taylor quote!

And I agree with everyone else. Keep doing things you enjoy, and more importantly, acknowledge them when you do them. This has been the best spring of my life because every day when I noticed a new flower or smelled a new springy smell, I would stop and notice myself enjoying those things. And doing that at least once a day can really improve your life (and it's free!)

We've also been celebrating stuff we can do now that we won't be able to do once we are parents. Again--little things: swearing, going to the movies at the drop of a hat, walking the dog (just the three of us--no stroller), wearing my old crop-top from college to bed without hearing, "MOM! Somebody might SEE you!" eating in front of the TV instead of at the table, eating candy before dinner, running with scissors, riding downhill on a shopping cart...

And since my SIL is pregnant, I'm also celebrating stuff I can do that she can't: drinking a glass of wine, eating sushi, staying up late, riding long distances in a car, running, jumping, lifting heavy objects, wearing the same clothes I always did (and buying new clothes that will last me more than a few months), not having stretch-marks, and mostly: no labor! (Sure, we have to take 4 long plane trips and go through a lot of other stuff, but I'm sure it still beats pushing a person out of my vagina!)

Don't get me wrong: it's hard on body and mind to be under constant stress week after week, month after month. But we all know it will be worth it in the end, and there's no point being depressed in the meantime.

Best wishes,

Xanny

[manon]

Here's a project to do while waiting: make your own lullaby CD or tape by going through your old records or CDs to find your favorite most soothing songs that are by performers you love. You'll never have time to do this later, and while there are lullaby compilations you can buy, it would be nice to make your own of music YOU like to listen to also.

Then when you've finished that, do the same thing to make some tapes or CDs to play in the car of fun songs you really like. My little girl loves "La Bamba" and that song that has the chorus "Ai, yi, yi, yi" ("Cielito Lindo"). I wish I had "Who Let the Dogs Out", "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun", and a bunch of other fun songs. She's getting tired of hearing me sing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" and I know there's another baseball song that I only remember 3 words of "we're talkin' baseball..." She has a little yellow plastic submarine so of course we need "We All Live in a Yellow Submarine", and I wish I had "Good Day Sunshine" and "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" (we have a kitty named Lucy). I don't even know who did the song that runs through my mind when she's running in circles ("will it go round in circles? will it fly high like a bird up in the sky?") Guess I'm showing my age with some of these songs.