[DaniJ]

For those who don't know, Krasnodar region just implemented the no-adopting-two-non-sibs rule. I Talked at length with our agnecy today on a couple occasions. They really tried hard to set up two adoptions at once in different regions, but were unable since no one in Russia would co-operate with trying to get court dates in the same week. We'd have to make a third trip to get the second child, or give up our boy, Gehrman, to get two in another region, and I just can't give him up. So, no girl for me. I am SO sad. DH has so little invested in this process that it isn't a big loss for him. Now that I am home from work I can't stop crying. I feel like I have lost yet another child and wonder how many I have to loose in this life before I get the family I want. Gehrman will be one step closer, but it looks like we'll have to wait yet a few more years to finish our family. Am I just over-reacting, or is there anyone else out there who can understand the hurt and the loss? I feel alone right now.

[bratgirl]

Dani,

I would feel the same way. Is there not any way you can afford a third trip to get your girl? Maybe this was a sign from God that this wasn't the right time for you. I'm sure you have heard that before when you lost children.

You have to try and pull it together for the sake of your boy. Maybe you will get lucky and some $ for a third trip will fall in your lap. Weirder things have happened.

Try and cheer up and think of all the wonderful things to come with your son.

There will be a light at the end of the tunnel for you. This I am sure of.

Laura

[Ktates]

Dani-
I am so sorry to hear that - I had not realized you already had a referral for one child and were so far into the process. That just stinks plain and simple - I don't think you are overreacting at all - one of the things that appeal to us all in adoption is that usually you can count on the end result. I agree with Laura - things happen for a reason - I know that probably doesn't help you right now but you can't focus on what you don't have - you should try and focus on what you are gaining - a wonderful little boy. I'm sure he will be the light of your life when you have him home.
hang in there-
Karen

[ahnasmom]

I have not been through this but can understand the pain of losing your 'dream of a daughter.' I know this has been said but someday you will understand why this has happened to you...not that that makes it any easier right now. Grieve for your loss then look forward to your son!!

You are in my thoughts...

[DaniJ]

Thanks guys for all your supportive words. It's getting easier, I guess... going through all the stages of loss and laughing as I recognize them (deial, anger, bargaining, etc. closing in on acceptance!) I am starting to think of positive outcomes to this new turn of events. Just took awhile to recover from the blow.
Thanks again!
DaniJ

[sickmeig]

maybe there are 2 siblings available and you can bring home 3 kids!

[sickmeig]

maybe there are 2 siblings available and you can bring home 3 kids!

[DaniJ]

Then we'd have to buy a new car! AAaaah!
Actually, I had a 'funny' thought today at work:
Our little Gehrman alrady has twin sisters and an older brother adopted in the US. Maybe in the past two years mama has had another, and wouldn't it be a riot if they found he has a baby sister! So, silly as it is, I'm praying!

[soontobe]

We're waiting for referrals and we've requested 2. We've been told the second child will cost more than we were first quoted. But they haven't given us any details as to how much more. So I'm so nervous right now and hoping that it's not an outrageous amount since we had our finances budgeted to the original amount. I would be very devasted as you are if we couldn't adopt 2 like we have planned. So I can really understand where you are coming from. I hope it all works out for you!!! I will say a prayer for you.

[Xanny]

Maybe your little boy needs some individual attention right now, and his sister will come later.

You will do what you need to do for Gehrman, because that's what parents do.

Hugs,

Xanny