[willowbeads]

Ok, ok. I'm just freaking out a little. I really can't believe I'm leaving in three days to meet my child! Up until last week I was so busy getting ready for trip #1 that I really didn't have much time to think about it all. Then we went to our agency's monthly meeting and met a man who is in our region right now with his wife on trip #2. He had pictures of their beautiful 10 month old daughter and the baby home. That is when it really hit me that we are actually going there! It became very real for me at that point. We are traveling blind and don't even know if we will have a boy or girl, so I was kind of detacted from the situation before. (I hope that doesn't sound bad) Then we got our welcome letter from our coordinator in Russia yesterday that has our schedule for our first two days. I'm trying to keep my emotions under control, but I just feel like crying all the time.

I know I shouldn't be so anxious, but I am so nervous about meeting the baby. We are working with Dr. Aronson, and I'm afraid of becoming attached the minute I hold him or her and then finding out there is a medical problem. I'm also afraid that the caregivers will immediately realize that I can hardly change a diaper and tell our coordinator "This woman is clueless! She shouldn't have a baby!" I'm worried, too, about the pressure of having to make a decision after only spending a couple of hours with the baby.

Sorry this was so long. I just had to get it all off my chest and knew you all would understand. Thanks for being here!

[Xanny]

No need to apologize! Of course you're stressed! And of course you've been feeling "detatched." With no information about a child, what is there to attach to?

A few things to remember: Dr. Aronson is really good. She will give you good advice. But it is only advice. YOU get to decide whether to adopt this child or not, and you have to listen to your heart. If there is a medical problem, you will decide whether you can handle it or not. If not, then you have to let the child go, but there is another child out there for you.

You will be fine. You will go there and do what you need to do. And once you meet the right baby, you will know that things will be okay. It might not be "magic." Some people are "magic" types, who believe there is one right husband for them and one right child for them. I'm not. If you're not, don't be afraid if you don't feel immediately like you're this child's mother. Just be there, think, and listen to your heart, and everything will be fine.

Oh, and lots of people become parents without knowing how to change a diaper or anything. Ask the workers at the baby home for help. Most people like being asked for advice, so it will be a good way to start a conversation with them.

Chin up!

Xanny

[manon]

They probably don't even have diapers at the orphanage. The one my little girl was from didn't use them, not even for little infants. They had these flannel jumper kinda things that would tie at the shoulders, and flannel shirts that pulled over the head. For babies that can't sit up yet, they'd put a couple of those jumper things on & hope they wouldn't get you wet when you had the baby there, unless you bring a disposable diaper to give them to use.

On the first trip, you have to tell them what name you want the baby to have (once you've found & accepted the baby). You may want to ask the caregivers what nickname they've been using for the baby, since Russians don't use the formal name til the child is at least school age. Unless you already have a different name in mind, of course.

Best wishes!!! So exciting.

[MyHeartsDesire]

WOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO
Only 3 days!!!!!!!!!!!! That is so exciting. I totally understand feeling detached because I'm that way too. I do know that I have a boy (because we specified gender) but that's it. No age, no info. We're trying to think of a name and wondering if we'll change our minds when we see him. Anyway, the second you get back you must fill us in on your adventures! I'll keep you in my prayers!

Lisa

[boatsun]

"You know more than you think you do" - Dr. Spock

I wish I could have quoted Mr. Spock rather than the Doctor, but the statement is true. You will know what to do or you will quickly find out what to do. I wish I could tell you not to worry, but worry is what keeps us on our toes. You will do fine. Good luck and have a great trip.

Jeff

[LilyMoon]

All of your fears and thoughts are completely normal! This is a totally nervewracking experience....but it does all work out.
I felt many of the same feelings you are feeling and everything worked out wonderfully for us. I'm sure things will work out wonderfully for you too. What helped me was to just stay focused on what we were doing at the moment and not thinking too far ahead. As each step is accomplished you move through the adoption process and then looking back things seemed to go so fast! It feels like a blur now.

Everyone has given you great advice.

Best wishes to you on your amazing adoption journey!

____________________
LilyMoon
Lucky Mom to Zak and Anastasia

[Vicki H]

Congratulations, meeting your child is like nothing else in the world. The only thing better is actually getting your child. Enjoy this fun time.

Vicki H

[ATwinkleofHope]

Everything will be perfect! But I do know what you mean by the traveling blind. I am sure that as soon as you see and hold your child that everything will be fine.

It is funny that you mention the changing the diaper bit because I am also a bit scared about someone watching our every move when we finally travel. I too am CLUELESS. I am hope some of that mother instinct stuff will jump right in. So let me know if thats what happens. LOL

I am so happy for you!
Another CHI'er soon to be a forever family.

Warmly,
-Jo

Married: 05/02/98
4 years ttc & 2 failed IVF's
Sent in application - 10-03-03
Sent in I-600A - 10-24-03
Homestudy completed - 12/24/03
Homestudy received - 01/21/04
Fingerprinting for INS - 02/10/04
Received the I171-H - 02/25/04
Assigned to Astrakhan region - 03/08/04
Dossier sent to region - 03/12/04
Waiting..

[waitinginnj]

You have received great advice - all I add is Enjoy the Ride that this will be.

[emjay]

Just take one step at a time, and do what feels right for you. Trust Dr. Aronson for the facts, but make the decision based on what's right for your family.

Wishing you a great trip, a beautiful healthy child, and a special experience to remember forever. (And don't worry about the diaper thing! What new parent knows how to do that, anyway?!?!)

- Maura

[Ktates]

Have a great trip! Everything will work out! I know what you mean about the detachment - I really don't think much about the reality of it - have to put my energy in to other things right now - but I know all of a sudden it will hit me - just like it's hitting you now - it will be great - this is what you have been working so hard for!

[Military Momma]

Believe me! I was totally stressed about the first trip and more so on the second trip! Don't worry so much and just enjoy the experience. cherish every moment. Believe me...your motherly instincts will kick right in. I wouldn't worry about it.

Good luck on trip 1 and I can't wait to hear the details when you get back!!!! We are all here for you!

Lisa

[willowbeads]

Thank you for your kind words and support. I knew you all would understand! I'm feeling a bit calmer today now that I've almost finished my "to do" list. I'm just going to try to take everything one step at a time like you suggested. I'm going to be holding my baby in five days! WOW!

If I can I will say hello to everyone from Russia. If not, I'll post the details as soon as we get back!

Everyone take care, and best of luck to all of you who are traveling during these next two weeks.

Wendy

[Javalita]

A little late in my response, but best wishes for a safe trip! May all of your dreams come true! Including the one about figuring out how diapers work! (I'm with ya on that one).

Jeannette

[daisymom]

Trust your heart. Be confident that you will be strong enough to make the right decisions. Wishing you the best!!!!