[jjwilliams]

Looking for someone to chat with about Russian Adoption.

[FamilyBound]

We adopted a wonderful little boy from Russia back in 12/01 -- feel free to ask away!!

[Don Gould]

I am beginning the process of adopting in Russia. What do you wish to know or chat about?

don

[lovingmom2b]

My husband and I are looking into Russia and have been given some negative feed back. How did things go for you?

[lovingmom2b]

have you made any of the trips yet? Are you picking the child before you go or when you get there. Have you ran into anything negative?

[Don Gould]

Yes and no. I have not been to Russia (I go to Petrozavodsk, in the Republic of Karelia, which is near Finland) for the purposes of adoption, and am still gaining info about the process, which agency to use, etc. In fact, if you are aware of an agency that works with Karelia, let me know!

I have, however, been to Russia twice, once for three weeks, the other time for two. As I say, most of the time I have been in Petrozavodsk, and stay with a family with whom I have become very close. To my amazement, the first time I went, I fell in love with the culture, the people, and my cemya russkaya, my Russian family. So, I have been involved in Russian stuff pretty much for the last two years.

There' s sure a lot about Russia which is complex. (I always say to my wife, 'it's not like it's a real country.') But, if you are trying to decide about adoption, I'd go Russian. The kids are absolutely wonderful, and, with older kids, probably pretty well educated. Anyway, I can go on and on, but if you want to hear or read more, you're going to have to reply.

I live outside of Boston, and am a retired hs teacher

don

[eileenlm]

Please proceed cautiously. My husband and I adopted a baby girl from Guatemala. I researched all the programs in depth. When we took our daughter to the foreign adoption medical practice for a thorough checkup (she passed with flying colors), the doctor mentioned to me that "a number" of his patients from Russia had a number of problems. I also talked to a pediatric physical therapist who said that she has quite a few Russian children in her practice, with the older kids have some learning disabilities, etc. I most interesting feedback I got was from a woman neurologist (sp?) I met at the grocery store. She went to a seminar given by European Adoption Consultants and said the Russian children there were obviously "impared." I didn't ask what she meant. She adopted an older child from China. I guess it depends where the children are, what kind of care they received, etc., but I had heard this from a number of sources. We chose Guatemala specifically because of the great health of the babies, the (fairly) fast adoption process, the ability to get an infant and liberal age requirements for parents (we're in our 40s). Maybe talk to doctors in international pediatric practices in your area.

[sofla100]

We just sent in our pre-dossier today. We are told Ekaterinberg
in Russia, but, we might have to wait a little. We are requesting 2 girls, ages from about 1-3 yrs. We are told girls are a bit harder than boys to get and especially with going for two. So we could have a wait up to 5-6 mos, but we are hoping it will be less.

Also, we are hoping to get some referral info back but are not sure what we will get because of how the region operates.

I would say this however, we are using Commonwealth, and I really believe they are squared away with Russia. I think their Russian director is over there now and is making contacts. I hear about people who have to use Amrex or some other brokers (because there agency is not accredited in Russia), and I am very happy we made the decision to go with a Russian accredited agency, I think this can make a big difference.

Anyway, good luck, and ask away from us!

Jackie and Joe

[Don Gould]

Good luck to you both. I am not as aware of agencies as you are, so I ask: what is 'Commonwealth?' How do I know if an agency is accredited in Russia? As you see, even though I know the girls I am trying to adopt, I am still a rookie when it comes to the process, and appreciate any help.

don

[lchurch]

With any adoption you should move with caution and know all the possibilities. I had to jump in at the comment that Russian children are "obviously impared". It is a scary phrase to pre-adoptive parents that is very broad and that can mean many things. There are Russian children in orphanages who are healthy and on-target developmentally. There are also children who are delayed developmentally from being in an orphanage setting. Some are also undersized. Many of these children thrive once they get into a family setting with proper nutrition. Some of the children do have more serious problems that you need to know about before deciding to adopt them. You should definitely have a doctor check over the medical reports before you accept any child. (You will probably have to send the information back from Russia.) My brother is an ENT in New Jersey who has Russian adoptees in his practice. He has been impressed with how healthy many of them are.

(OK, I'm off my soap box now.)

I am also using Commonwealth Adoption International (www.commonwealthadoption.org). Our documents have been in Ekaterinburg since early February.

For more information on Russian Adoption I recommend www.eeadopt.org. To see which agencies are accredited, go to http://www.russianembassy.org/ and select Adoption.

Leslie

[Don Gould]

Don't worry about the soap box-we all feel passion on this subject, would be my guess.

Thanks for the accred. url. I'll check it out

Actually, the two sisters I am considering are healthy, I'm pretty sure. My contact is an American woman who worked in that orphanage, adopted two other sisters from it, and knows these girls well. Neither is developmentally delayed, and both seem, from Angie's accounts, healthy.

My concern about Commonwealth is that they appear to only work with potentially adoptable children of ages l4 or younger. Do you know if that is true?

don

[lchurch]

I don't know about their age limit. We were interested in under 3 so it wasn't an issue for us. Just give them a call and explain your situation. They are very nice and will tell you if they can help or not.

[FamilyBound]

Originally posted by lchurch
With any adoption you should move with caution and know all the possibilities. I had to jump in at the comment that Russian children are "obviously impared". It is a scary phrase to pre-adoptive parents that is very broad and that can mean many things. There are Russian children in orphanages who are healthy and on-target developmentally. There are also children who are delayed developmentally from being in an orphanage setting. Some are also undersized. Many of these children thrive once they get into a family setting with proper nutrition.

Leslie, you are absolutely right. Our son's referral had him diagnosed with heart problems, rickets and other maladies. We brought him home and had him checked out and he was completely healthy, and just small. Now that he's been home for 18 months, he's right on target for his height and weight and is actually tested ahead of his intellectual age!

[PBRTN]

Hello:

My husband adopted our little girl Dec 24th 2002. We are proud to say that she is doing great!!! She turned 3 yrs old on January 14th. Her only physical problems were that she had rickets, (vitamin D deficiency) and she tested positive to TB, which she is currently being treated for. She is beautiful and happy. She has some speech delays, but can communicate beautifully. She has had no issues with bonding, or any emotional problems.

We had some disapointments with our original referrals, but we were prepared to say no. It was very hard to leave behind children that you thought you were going to bring home, but it serves no-one to adopt a child with issues you are not prepared to handle.

We saw lots of children at several orphanages while in Russia. Some had delays and some did not. We have met many children who have been adopted from Russia, and all are doing well.

Adoption, in itself is a risk. There are no guarantees. But it is your heart that tells you this is for you.

We are considering going back to Russia next year for another child. There are so many children there that need homes.

The most important thing to remember is to do your homework on your international agency. And also remember that your agency doesn't have total control. They are only as informed as the information they are given from Russia. As in our case we had to turn down our first referrals. It was heart-breaking, but we also found our daughter and couldn't be happier.

Our agency did a good job trying to accomodate us and were able to get us another referral the next day.

To all who consider Russian adoption, thank you, and my prayers are with you.

PBRTN

[eileenlm]

As a footnote, didn't mean to upset anyone - just wanted to pass along what I had heard. All babies are angels - I'm thankful for a forum such as this to share ideas. Thanks everyone, for educating me