[Archive]

Originally Posted By Tammy

Where did the Romanian messages disappear to? I thought there were messages yet for me to respond to and now everything is gone. I guess we'll have to start over.

Our court date is June 19. It's getting closer every day! : ) We were initially going to have our daughter escorted home, but now I'm contemplating traveling. We have four children at home ages 3-8. I'd enjoy the adventure of traveling, yet my mother was mortified that I'd consider leaving my "little children." I also know it will be a lot more work for me to prepare to travel as opposed to just staying home preparing for her homecoming. The money's the same; the time to homecoming would be 2-4 weeks shorter. My husband supports me if I want to, but isn't insisting that I go. Am I being selfish for wanting to go? Is this something most adoptive moms struggle with as the time gets closer? I remember contemplating traveling to bring our older daughter home from Korea, but then we had her escorted like we had planned all along. I do not in any way regret our decision to have her escorted. Her homecoming was incredible!! Do any of you have any insight on this issue?

Thanks,

Tammy

[Archive]

Originally Posted By Jessie

I think some of the messages were deleted because e-mail addresses weren't included...I'm not always crazy about including mine since I've gotten some unsolicited, unkind comments at times.

Anyway, I had my little boy escorted from Romania and it was so exciting to have my family gathered with me at the airport to see his arrival. I thought about traveling as well, but chose escort because I would have had to travel alone (I'm a single mom), and I'm not an adventurous spirit as you say you are! However, I've heard many people say that traveling is a wonderful experience. From what I hear it's a fairly short trip (5-7 days) and I'm sure your husband will take good care of your kids while you're away. Assure your kids that you'll be thinking of them every minute and remind them how neat it will be to see you come home with their new sister.

I liked the escort option also because I was ready and well rested when my little guy came home, as opposed to being worn out from travel, but if you like traveling that might not be a problem. And it will get your daughter home sooner. I'd say if that's where your heart is, go for it! Best of Luck!!

[Archive]

Originally Posted By Cat

First - Congratulations!

Here is MY opinion based on my experience. I am NOT saiding that this is for everyone or that everyone should do it the way I did or that what I did is the best way. We all need to do what we feel is best for us and families. Having clearifies that - I traveled to get my girls and would not have done it any other way. I always thought I would have the child escorted but am glad I had to travel. I was able to see into their lives, get first hand knowledge of their schedual/likes/etc., see how they were treated, get a chance to start bonding with them in a safe enviroment for them, get a first hand look at the culture and get more information then the agency would have provided me or requested.

Romania is a beautiful and interesting country with many wonderful people and a wonderful culture. You are not being selfish. If you like to travel and feel comfortable doing it, I would suggust you go. It is an experience that you will not be able to duplicate at any other time and it will be part of your new daughter's story.

Best wishes.

[Archive]

Originally Posted By Lynn

I am very interested in how long it took you to get your referral. We have just started the process and would really love to have another daughter. When we went to Russia it took 17 months to complete I am hoping it won't take that long this time.

[Archive]

Originally Posted By Tammy

Lynn,

I wish I could help, but our situation is a bit different because Maria was a waiting child with special needs. We learned about her last summer and are still working to bring her home. We had no wait for a referral, but many other long spans with seemingly nothing happening. But I know we have to be getting closer! : )

If you want more details of our adoption saga, please ask. I just don't want to bore or depress you with all the details. I admire your stamina for waiting 17 months! Was that the time from sending your dossier until homecoming or from home study until homecoming?

How old is your child? We have 3 birth sons ages 8, 7, 5 and 1 daughter age 3 adopted from S. Korea.

May God give you a more timely adoption than ours,

Tammy

[Archive]

Originally Posted By Lori

Hi Lynn,

We, too, have just begun the adopting process. We identified a six-year-old Romanian girl by looking through photos posted on the web. New Hope Services (Seattle, WA) is handling the adoption for us, and we HOPE to have Maricica home with us by February, 2001. This is our first adoption, and we are still trying to schedule a home study by an agency here in Texas. We are probably being too optimistic about the schedule, but since Maricica is an older child and also slightly handicapped (she has weak legs with no muscle tone and walks with a very awkward gait), we feel that the schedule might move a little quicker than the average.

With your first adoption, had you already identified a child, or were you waiting for a referral? We would love to hear about your experiences.

[Archive]

Originally Posted By Pat

Hi Tammy,
I don't want to get off topic but, I thought you might shed some insight on our problem. I have not been here to read your prior posts so excuse me if I bring up a topic that you have discussed before. As I read your post it seems that you have adopted internationally before. My husband and I have talked of adoption for many years. We have three wonderful children but, would love to adopt. Our problem, like that of so many others, how can a family with other children afford the costs. I have had many hurtful comments made to me when I have brought up the subject on boards before. Maybe you can give me some tips on how you are able to finance the adoptions.
Thanks Pat

[Archive]

Originally Posted By Pat

Hi Tammy,
I don't want to get off topic but, I thought you might shed some insight on our problem. I have not been here to read your prior posts so excuse me if I bring up a topic that you have discussed before. As I read your post it seems that you have adopted internationally before. My husband and I have talked of adoption for many years. We have three wonderful children but, would love to adopt. Our problem, like that of so many others, how can a family with other children afford the costs. I have had many hurtful comments made to me when I have brought up the subject on boards before. Maybe you can give me some tips on how you are able to finance the adoptions.
Thanks Pat

[Archive]

Originally Posted By Cat

I am not Tammy but I hope you don't mind me responding. I am a single mom of two and am planning on adopting again. Saving, refinance your home, taking out a adoption loan, applying for an adoption grant, asking for help from friends, family or your church. They say that if there is a will there is a way but it IS alot of money. Usually all the money is not due at the same time and spread across the adoption, with helps some. There are a couple of websites with ideas/suggustions. If you do a search you will find them.

Why anyone would make hurtful comments about this is beyond me! It is easier to add one more plate on the table or make one more lunch or buy one more pair of shoes then it is to save the money for the adoption. This is a big issue for a number of familes who wish to adopt.

Good luck.

[Archive]

Originally Posted By darcel

Pat:

I am curious as well as to finances re: adoption. I too, cannot understand why anyone would make hurtful comments. These are very basic questions that most anyone starting the process would ask for.

If anyone can provide some insights I would appreciate it. My husband and I are considering adopting a child, as we are unable to have one. I am especially interested in an earlier e-mail comment pertaining to adoption grants? If anyone has information on this, please share it with Pat and myself.

I would love to adopt a baby, but unfortunately I cannot turn some of the sources mentioned by others. How can anyone living in this day and age afford it? I would hate to think that $ is the only thing separating us for adopting a baby in the US or abroad.

Please shed some light on this aspect for those of us beginning the journey.

Thanks and god bless.

Darcel

[Archive]

Originally Posted By Tammy

Hi Pat!

I'm sorry it has taken me so long to resond to your post. I have been thinking about my response as well as having 3 tee ball/baseball games in the interim! : )

You are not "off topic" at all. Finances are one of the first hurdles families must overcome to adopt. Sadly, it is also one that stops most families before they even start. I'm glad you are researching your options. You may just have the persistence necessary to complete an adoption! : )

International adoption CAN be very expensive, as high as over $30,000 I've heard. Our two adoptions, however, have been under $10,000 each including everything from homestudy to travel/escort. If that still seems out of reach, don't give up. There are a variety of things that can help reduce that amount.

1. Special needs adoptions often have significantly reduced fees. Special needs can include physical needs (from very minor to more significant), siblings, or even age of child.

2. There is also a $5000 federal tax credit that many people new to adoption are not aware of. Note: that is a CREDIT not merely a deduction! There is an income cap to receive the full credit, but that may even change soon with new legislation. For more info go to www.house.gov/bliley/ under Hope for the Children Act.

3. Also Ohio has a Non-Recurring Adoption Expenses Reimbursement for special needs adoptions up to $2000. This includes international adoptions. I would think other states might have something similar.

4. Airline Ambassadors International can help with travel/escort expenses by escorting your child home. They volunteer to use their access to free air travel for escorting. All you pay, I believe, is their expenses while gone as well as your child's airfare. If you've checked international plane fares, that is quite a help! You can learn more at www.airlineamb.org

5. There are adoption grants available through National Adoption Foundation. Their website is www.adopt.org/datacenter/bin/AQ_loans_grants.htm

6. If you're Jewish, there are interest-free adoption loans available. See www.hflasf.org/adopt-loans.html

7. A Child Waits also provides low interest loans, 7% I believe, for adoption. There website is www.achildwaits.org

8. If you own your home, a home equity loan is also an option.

9. Some companies also support their employees in adoption by contibuting funds, most contribute about $2000.

I hope some of this helps. I'll be glad to try to answer any other questions you have. I wish you well with your adoption pursuit. It is definitely worth the challenges!

Tammy

[Archive]

Originally Posted By Mar

Tammy,
You mentioned that the cost of your adoptions was about $10,000. Was this for Romania? I keep hearing 16 - 17k. What agency did you use? Were you able to get the costs down because of grants? I hope I'm not being too personal. It's just that this can be a lot of money and I want to do my research so I know what I'm getting into.

[Archive]

Originally Posted By Tammy

Mar,

Our first adoption was from South Korea 3 years ago. Our current adoption is from Romania through Tree of Life Adoption in Oregon. Our total cost will be about $10,000 including everything from homestudy to travel/escort. Our international fee as well as our agency fee were reduced because of our daughter's special needs.

In order to pay a portion of the $10,000, we are seeking reimbursement of non-recurring adoption expenses from the state of Ohio ($2000). If our salary qualified us, we could also get a federal tax credit for adoption ($6000 or $5000 for a child with no identified special needs). Also we may use Airline Ambassadors International as our escort, thus reducing our escort fee by the amount of the escort's plane fare (at least $1000). Therefore if an Ohio resident with a salary less than $75,000 were to complete our current adoption, it could cost them only about $1000! Even though we don't qualify for all these credits, it will only cost us about $7000 which is not too bad for international adoption. And if the Hope for Children Act passes, increasing the salary cap for the tax credit, our outlay would be decreased accordingly.

I did look into the grants, but did not receive one. I didn't think we would get one considering our salary bracket, but that did not automatically disqualify us nor did it keep me from trying! : ) It may work for you.

One more word for those who think special needs children will cost them more upon their arrival home. Insurance MUST cover your adopted child at placement for adoption just as they would a birth child at birth, thus making the medical costs not seem so scary. Also the Shriner's hospitals give free medical care to those they can help. I believe their specialty is orthopedic problems which includes our new daughter's special need.

I hope some of this helps. If you have any more questions, please ask.

Tammy

[Archive]

Originally Posted By Joanie

Hi Tammy,
I just stumbled into this site while researching the whole adoption idea, which is fairly new for me (since reading an article about Romanian children living on the streets). Anyway, could you tell me the approximate cost of your adoptions, and how you "learn about" certain kids available for adoption. I too have 3 biological children, and I would not rule out adopting a child with some special needs.
Thanks!

[Archive]

Originally Posted By kathy

I'm just starting to look into Romanian adoption. Could you please tell me how you select your child when they are escorted to you. Do u select a child from a photo? Do you just give the age you want and let the qagency select for you? I am still new to this process. My husband and I are thinking about a brother and sister from Romania. Thanks so much for all your help, Kathy