[Archive]

Originally Posted By Liz

How do I know when to give up and call it quits? Bmom was located by confidential intermediary last November, but she "wasn't ready" to get to know me. A few months later, she emailed my CI and told her to tell me "to be patient." Well, that was ten months ago. Should I ask my CI to close my file and forget about my bmom? She has three other daughters (one born before me and two after me) who have no idea I exist. Maybe she doesn't want to tell them. Bmom is divorced, so the husband thing can't be the problem. I do know that last year she was having problems with one of my bsisters (a bsis was going through a divorce) so maybe I was too much to handle at the time. Bmom also sent me a small gift (via my CI) for Xmas last year, so I guess she cares in some way.

My CI says that she has had bmoms/bdads change their minds about contact after as long as three years, so maybe I am too impatient?!!? I am just ticked off and wish sometimes that I had never started all this. Yes, I have been blessed in that I have found two half brother of mine (sons of my bdad), though my bdad is deceased. One accepts me okay, the other couldn't care less about getting to know me.

Any advice would be appreciated. Would also love to hear from a bmom who might be able to shed some light on this situation.

Liz

[Archive]

Originally Posted By Marcia

Hi Liz,
Just read your post and as a birthmom one year into reunion, I wanted to let you know waiting is all part of it, unfortunately. Maybe you can contact your CI and have a not forwarded to your bmom and gently express the desire to have some direct contact from her as you are losing faith that you will ever get the chance to meet her, to know her etc. She obviously is scared, but cares as indicated by the gift she had sent to you.
I was more then ready to be found and now wish my bdau would speed things up, but I feel she did the searching and our reunion will only progress at the speed she is comfortable with.......not easy to accept for this impatient bmom!
I can't offer you nuch advice, but do want you to know you are being heard and hopefully you will hear from your mom very soon. Don't give up though. You both deserve the chance to start over.

[Archive]

Originally Posted By Liz

Thank you, Marcia for your input. It really helps. I sincerely hope that the reunion with your bdaughter goes wonderfully.

Kindest regards,

Liz