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Originally Posted By Karen

well, i guess I found a place with people that fell like I do,I found my birth mother when I was 33,she lived 3 hours away and came to visit right away,she was stand offish a glass half empty kind of person.she brought me geneology info and told me my fahters name and I didnt speak to her for 2 years.she clearly stated when I called her on my birthday that she didnt want anything to do with me.why what was wrong with me ,also I have my beloved Jaime 16 a granduaghter any one would be proud to call theirs,what ,after I had finally found her could ever keep us apart?I never dreamed that the amswer would be the woman herself by her own choice.I felt cheated oh sure before I found her I told myself it wouldnt matter I would take what ever I got but in the bottom of my heart I trully believed I was going to get ......well I think you know what I mean,cause we didnt get it ,those other people did the ones on tv coming down the airport gangway with a whole slew of family that has been waiting for this day just as bad as you were.I was her only child,I am trying to put this behind me but I think about things like would if she dies how will I know?noone in her life not one person knows of me the 2 other people who did are dead they never new I found her before they died I had there number Should I have called ? ?#2I found my Father about 5 mounths later and a D.N.A. test later and its a girl!!!we were good buds for 2 years it made up for my mother he has been promising me for 3 years that he will tell my brothers and 2 sisters about me.well he didnt and know his wife was almost killed in a car wreck (she knows Before her) and he says its because he doesnt like my hubby and hes buzy with wife before it was 16 year old sisters baby the relationship has cooled much,should I try to keep pleasing himm and have my sibs kept from me or should I tell them their all over 18,he always said he would but something always came up I mtierd of being put off,Help

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Originally Posted By Mary

Dear Karen,
I think your siblings have a right to know they have a sister. If your father is unable to tell them, and how long has it been? I think you have every right to contact them and tell them of your existence. I met my birth mother 12 years ago along with my siblings and then it was too much for me to handle and I stopped all contact with them. 5 months ago I connected with my sister and it is the best thing I ever did. We are really bonding and I consider her a true sister. You might be missing out on something wonderful. You should do it for you!!! Mary

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Originally Posted By Sharon

Dear Karen,

Adoptees are placed in a very hard situation when birthparents haven't told other family members about their existence. I'm very new in reunion, I have spoken with 2 brothers, 1 sister,1 brother yet to speak with. So far the welcome has been warm with my 2 brothers, not sure about my sister yet. But my true brother, the relationship is fantastic!!!!!!!! I was fortunate though, my birthmom gave their phone numbers to me one at a time, and I appreciate the way she did this.

Maybe you can mention to your dad that you will give him another chance to do the right thing, then you must contact your siblings. If he doesn't prepare them it won't be as easy for them, but you have a right to know them and form a relationship with them, and his help would make it a lot easier on everyone involved.

Good luck and God Bless you all, but my opinion is, for what it's worth, you do have the right to meet your brothers and sisters.

Sharon