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Originally Posted By MaryJo

I was also rejected by my birthmother after finding my grandmother. My birthmother said she was not interested in meeting me and that her three grown children did not know about me although her husband did. He was listed as my uncle in my hospital records. Is it wrong of me to contact my half siblings on my own? I also am looking for a half sister that was given up by my birthmother six years prior to my birth that I would like to locate.

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Originally Posted By Christine

Hi;

I have been in reunion for five years now with my bfamily: bmom & bdad married had two sons and another daughter. The first year was a fantasy but things began to crumble. My sib's, for reasons never expresses to me, pulled away and just cut off contact. My bsis was on again off again which I have to say hurt more than just walking away. She caused a lot of hurt and extra stress. The bparent's felt caught up in everything and ended up siding with the sib's. I lost a lot of months of time with them throughout the five years and it is/was/always will be my second rejection.

As far as searching for your bsib's YES, YES, YES. You don't know if they know of you therefor you cannot determine how they would feel if you found them. Try to locate them. You have the RIGHT!!!!..... to know your family. Keep up the search.

I wish I could say something to help take some of the hurt away but there are no words; perhaps continuing on looking for your siblings will help the healing; and also talking with other adoptee's, bparent's and aparent's helps with the healing.
You can write me anytime, anytime I would love to help if you would like me too.

Best wishes
Christine

[Archive]

Originally Posted By MaryJo

It sounds like we have the same birth family my birthmother married right after I was born and became pregnant again six months later having a son. Then another son and a daughter. They are all in their late twenties. I would really like to see what they look like. I also know that I have a halfsister that my birthmother gave up six years prior to my adoption. I would really like to find her because I feel that we could really bond being in the same situation with the same birthmother. I can understand how some birthsiblings might feel threatened especially if they were the only girl in the family like in our case and along comes an older sister. They just dont understand. I guess you have to go into the situation expecting nothing. Then you arent so disappionted when they don't want anything to do with you. Your right it really can hurt. My birth grandmother sends me letters and xmas cards but says that she has no idea how to get in touch with my birthmom. She has to wait till she calls her for something usually money she says they dont have a great relationship. I feel like I am bothering her though always asking for information. If you would like to talk more you can e-mail me. Sometimes I dont think about this stuff for months then I cant stop thinking about. My husband thinks Im crazy. Sometimes I feel like I have nobody who understands. Does it feel any better at least knowing that you have met them? Do they look like you?

Thanks for your help. MaryJo

[Adoptee100]

I just made a web site about problems with adoption, including stories of adoptees being rejected after searching. I would appreciate it if anybody could take the time to write their story for my site.

The URL for my site is this: http://members.aol.com/adopteeproble.../adoption.html

Thanks