[lisaann57]

I am a recently reunited birthmom of a son & daughter. I see both sides. Ive been reading all these post and I have mixed emotions. I was having a nuclear meltdown the other evening, I had reunions with both bkids in one weekend and I was emotionally trashed.I just wanted my life back!,just the way it was this was too hard. But I got some great wisdom from a wonderful friend who saved my butt that night. She said to imagine Pandora's Box. In this box you have put your child(ren) in , all the feelings associated with their birth, anger, frustration,grief,loss,etc. Then one day you find this dust covered box you put aways so many years ago. You open this box to find your child(ren), and all those buried feelings come exploding out , all over you , your family your entire life!. You have to feel all this horrible stuff all over again, only this time you have to deal with it, not put it away, if you're going to have a chance at a successful reunion. S I understand why a birthmother could walk away, its just too **** painful. As bmoms we are programmed to swallow all this garbage in the best interest of the child, and to go on with our lives and just forget. Some are better at it than others. I am not. But I am willing to deal with all my feelings in order to have a beautiful reunion with my kids. For those of you whose birthmom has backed away, don't give up hope, she may just be dealing with her own box, so give her some space and time , she just may come back

[Jackiejdajda]

lisaann57 wrote..Then one day you find this dust covered box you put aways so many years ago. You open this box to find your child(ren), and all those buried feelings come exploding out , all over you , your family your entire life!.

I like what your friend said.. Its like a physical blow.. to me..
I used every bit of self help/emotional learning I could the day I reunited physically with my bson.. I stayed in the moment.. I did not allow negative thinking in.. Nope.. I just took it all in..

After that I ended up in a terribly negative place.. I wanted more.. I had my dreams..

I backed off.. He did not (does not) reply to email's right away.. He does not write long newsy letters that reveal so much.. I wanted that so darn bad.. But he is who he is..

I let him go again.. I had completion..

And he came back as a person who wanted to know me.. I needed to learn that..


What a great topic for a thread..

Jackie

[Cheryl62]

Lisaann

Thank you for sharing this. You really helped me. Alot of us know this, intellectually, but it touches our hearts more directly when we hear it from someone who has been there. Thanks again.

Cheryl