[dede4583]

Well I agree that if you love/d someone that much that you could not forget their birthdate. But my niece and nephew has been in their current foster home for the past three years and she stated that she LOVES THEM LIKE HER OWN AND WANTS TO ADOPT THEM but yet she can not remember his birthdate it was also off by a year she thought that he was a year older then what he was and even after she was told she was still not sure. I have and will never forget the birthdates of my nieces and nephew who were lost to the system. I know how you feel

[kune]

dede

Well I agree that if you love/d someone that much that you could not forget their birthdate.

If you read the thread postings on the previous pages you will see that at least 30% of birthmothers DID have the birthdays wrong - I found out 33 years afterwards that I too had the wrong date.

Love can't be judged by remembering birthdays - Love just is.

I have no idea of your family's situation with neice and nephew but hope that somehow everyone pulls together so they can have some permanency in their life in a loving and caring family.

ps - I have a 32 and 30 year old children who I often have to stop and think ...."Now how old are they". To me they are always so much younger than they really are.

Ann

[keds]

Hi there, as most of you know me, I am not to judge. I only remember every detail as I was blessed or cursed with a great memory. I think we remember that which we are capable of handling therefore I will never forgot anything about my bson. Those that don't wish them peace as I feel they are worse off as they went through the same journey as I but were protected. for one reason or another, from the devestation that is not knowing.

[Jackiejdajda]

I know I was traumatized by my sons birth and relinquishment.. They drugged me for the birth so I did not see him being born.. I was out cold..

I did not see him.. I did not hold him.. that was the policy back then..

I forgot as best I could.. I did not speak about him.. I did not speak about the relinquishment..
When I finally found his birth date I started to grieve the loss..
I had to call the agency and ask..

Jackie

[kakuehl]

Do you all remember the song, "Memories"? One line (that always pops into my head first) is "What's too painful to remember, we simply choose to forget." I suspect that even when our minds don't remember the exact date, our bodies do! That's why many of us (and not just bparents) find different times of the year to be difficult. There are dates I remember easily and others I don't. Of my various nieces and nephews (whom I love) I can only be definite about 2 of the dates: one is a niece born July 2, the other a nephew born July 16. (and that's because of the birthdates of S & J). I will usually be very close for the rest. It doesn't mean I love them any less.

I was just thinking (dangerous!!!) that D was born on my birthday which makes it hard to forget, but given the way labor goes he could easily have been born on the next day (the actual birth was about 10pm) and I would still have thought he was born on the 4th. I certainly wasn't watching the clock at that point! Again, that wouldn't mean I love him any less, even if I had the date wrong.