[tinazimm]

I placed my baby almost 12 yrs ago to a couple while I lived in southern california. In 91 open adoption was very new and the adoptive mother and I where trying to not be so afraid of each other. We two women where total strangers with one thing incommon we loved the same baby. But becouse she saw how much I loved my baby also she opened her heart and let me share in my b daughters life. Throw picture's and letter's and visits which where not common at all back then. We learned to respect each other and I knew who this baby's mother was and what toe's not to step on but it was all in learning from each other. My child will be 12 in april and she know's who I am and she has meet me as her b mom and as far as we can see she is a well rounded younge women with parents who love her more than life itself. Yes in the beginning it was painful to me but becouse I got to see my child in an open relationship with her parents my healing was faster and complete. You can see my story at http://www.picturetrail.com/tinazimm I have been blessed also with two little girls and thay also have meet there half sister. I do not regrett placeing my baby and feel it was all meant to be. Best to all of you in your open adoptions Tina

[woquain]

Hi, I am glad that I found your post. Maybe you can help me out! I just adopted a baby girl 12/27/02. I also am doing an open adoption. My adoption is very open , My daughter will have contact with her birthmother, but will only know her as nannie. This is at the request of her birthmother. I am scared that this will come back to bite me in the rear one day. I do not want to decieve my child in any way. I plan on letting her know who her birthmother is one day when she is older. I at this time cannot say at what age. I am hoping that she will let me know when she is ready. How was it when you finally met your daughter. I am just a little curious. I only want to do the right thing for my child. I have so many questions and am scared to death to make a mistake. Any advice would be really nice!

[tinazimm]

She was 10 and for two yrs prior we talked on the phone alot. When I stepped off the plane I was 6 months pg with my emily and hannah was 6. I did not want to scare her but just wanted to know her. I kept my distance and just let her lead. I hugged her when we first meet but did not overwhelm her. I did notice she would watch me alot the first night and as I did her. She loved playing with hannah alot and we stayed for 3 days. She wanted to sleep with me and hannah that first night and her parents felt that was ok which was a surprise to me. I am her friend but not her mom and she knows that and so do I. If she needs me than I will be there but She has her own life and I respect that. Her mother and I have shared so many fears so we wrote a book about it our journie It is called FOR THE LOVE OF MOLLIE AN OPEN ADOPTION STORY IN TWO VOICES. I would be happy to send you a cope My e mail address is Hildegard@aol.com and if I can help with any more questions I would love to Tina

[tinazimm]

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