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Originally Posted By Kathy

Hi, I would appreciate any information you could possibly give me about any support group for the birthfamily and or adoptive family in Northern California area. My daughter gave her child up for adoption a year ago. It is a open adoption But us not bieng aware at the time that there was an an independent adoption agency that would help support an open adoption the adoption was handled privatly. Though it has been going well there have been times I think a support group or mediator would have been appreciated. Plus I think it would be beneficial for my daughter to maybe meet other birthmothers in a similar situation. Thank you I would very much appreciate any information. The books you have suggested were a great deal of comfort and full of knowledge that helped me understand the first couple months after the adoption of my grandson. I am so glad I finally found this sight. Thanks!!

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Originally Posted By KSilber

Dear Kathy,

It's great that you have recognized the importance of having support from others when going through the emotional process of an adoption. Grieving is a common experience for birthparents, and it is important to have support during the grieving process. Many adoption agencies, including ours, provide professional counseling and group support to birthparents before, during, and after the adoption. Since this was not available to you in your adoption, it is a good idea to pursue the support you and your daughter need now.

Our Center regularly offers a support group for birthparents who have placed through the Center, and we open it up to other birthparents in the community. However, that support group is on a break now, but plans to resume meeting in a few months. We are located in Pleasant Hill which is in the East Bay area. If you live in the Sacramento area, I would recommend a group in which several of our birthparents have participated, through The Birth Connection. Their phone number is 916-451-9868. If you would like a recommendation for a private therapist near you, please e-mail me directly and let me know where in Northern California you live.

You also asked about support groups for the adoptive family. RESOLVE, a national infertility organization, offers continuous adoption support groups in San Francisco, the South Bay and the East Bay. These groups are for RESOLVE members and do involve a fee. For more information about these groups, you can call RESOLVE of Northern California at 415-788-6772.

Finally, there are several books I can recommend. For your daughter, I recommend "Saying Goodbye to a Baby: The Birthparent's Guide to Loss and Grief in Adoption" by Patricia Roles. For you as a birthgrandmother, I would suggest "My Child is a Mother" by Mary Stephenson. My book "Dear Birthmother" might also be helpful, as well as "The Open Adoption Book" by Bruce Rappaport.

Best wishes as you and your family adjust to the adoption of your birthgrandson.

Regards,
Kathleen

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Dear Kathy,

It's great that you have recognized the importance of having support from others when going through the emotional process of an adoption. Grieving is a common experience for birthparents, and it is important to have support during the grieving process. Many adoption agencies, including ours, provide professional counseling and group support to birthparents before, during, and after the adoption. Since this was not available to you in your adoption, it is a good idea to pursue the support you and your daughter need now.

Our Center regularly offers a support group for birthparents who have placed through the Center, and we open it up to other birthparents in the community. However, that support group is on a break now, but plans to resume meeting in a few months. We are located in Pleasant Hill which is in the East Bay area. If you live in the Sacramento area, I would recommend a group in which several of our birthparents have participated, through The Birth Connection. Their phone number is 916-451-9868. If you would like a recommendation for a private therapist near you, please e-mail me directly and let me know where in Northern California you live.

You also asked about support groups for the adoptive family. RESOLVE, a national infertility organization, offers continuous adoption support groups in San Francisco, the South Bay and the East Bay. These groups are for RESOLVE members and do involve a fee. For more information about these groups, you can call RESOLVE of Northern California at 415-788-6772.

Finally, there are several books I can recommend. For your daughter, I recommend "Saying Goodbye to a Baby: The Birthparent's Guide to Loss and Grief in Adoption" by Patricia Roles. For you as a birthgrandmother, I would suggest "My Child is a Mother" by Mary Stephenson. My book "Dear Birthmother" might also be helpful, as well as "The Open Adoption Book" by Bruce Rappaport.

Best wishes as you and your family adjust to the adoption of your birthgrandson.

Regards,
Kathleen

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