[Archive]

i have a birthson who was adopted in 1991,his birthmoher has open visation with the adoptedparents & i was wondering if i have he same rights as she does?

[Archive]

Originally Posted By KSilber

Dear lmmoyer,

The kind of relationship you might be able to have with your birthson depends partly on the open adoption agreement that was made at the time of the adoption. Were you involved at that time? Was an agreement discussed and made, and, if so, what was your role during that discussion? If you were involved at the time of the adoption, and visitation was agreed upon, you can indicate your desire to become involved once again. If relations with the adoptive parents were strained, you can probably anticipate some difficulty in renewing that relationship.

If you were not involved in the adoption arrangements, I would suggest that you contact the adoptive parents and indicate your interest in starting up some involvement in your birthson's life. Perhaps you could write them a letter, sharing some of the reasons you were not involved in the past and your interest in knowing your birthson now. Since you indicate that the birthmother has open visitation with the adopted parents, it is very possible that they will be open to also having a relationship with you.

We have seen many birthfathers who chose not to be involved at the time of the adoption but later find that it does work out for them to have contact in their birthchild's life. It may take time, however, to build a relationship with the adopted parents.

As you pursue these new relationships, you might be interested in reading the book "Out of the Shadows: Birthfathers' Stories" by Mary Martin Mason. This book tells the stories of several different birthfathers in different adoption relationships.

Good luck in developing a relationship with your birthson and his family.

Regards,
Kathleen

[Archive]

[Archive]