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My son is 7 weeks old..adopted at 22days old. We continue to have contact with the birth mom's mom, and also just recently the birth father's mom. I occasionally talk with the birth mother and send pictures and updates to her.

My question is: Is there a such thing as being too open? My husband and I desire a very open relationship with the members of the birth family who wish to remain in contact. In fact the birth granmother (maternal) is going to keep our son for a few hours while we both work. We have also told them that our door is open if they want to come visit...with a call before they come. Is this too strange or odd? Some of our family members seem to think that this open of a relationship could be detrimental or confusing to our son. We feel that it could only be positive for him if handled in a sensitive loving manner.

Any insight is appreciated!

Stephanie

[Archive]

Stephanie, I saw you message and thought that I would respond. Having an open adoption with ongoing contact is not odd or strange. We have ongoing frequent contact with our daughter's birthmother and members of her extended family. Our daughter just turned 2 and I speak with her bmom at least once per week and we see her at least once per month. She is and will be at any major (or minor, if she chooses) activity in our daughter life. She loves her (and our) daughter with all her life. She does not co-parent our daughter. She co-loves her. In the beginning our extended family was scared. They now see her as part of our extended family and expect her there.

As long has the best interests of your child are the goal the more people to love him the better!

If you have not checked out the Dialogue between Adoptive Parents and Birthparents on this site I would encourage you to do so. There are several birthmothers in open adoptions that frequent to board.

Consider yourself blessed by not only a child to love, but his birthfamily as well. Good luck and enjoy your wonderful son and his birthfamily.

Amber