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Old 07-06-2007, 10:36 AM
KristineM KristineM is offline
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lunch with daughters bmom this Sunday

Just want your thoughts on this...

I am meeting with our daughters bmom this Sunday for lunch. I am going to be discussing some things that have happened in the past two months...

She was planning on getting married on 08/25/2007. Apparently that fell through because his anullment did not go thru. ( From what I have heard, she knew he was still married and pursued him anyways) In addition, she was 2 and 1/2 months pregnant and miscarried on 06/15/2007.

I was very skeptical if she was even pregnant because of how she acted when she called and announced it to me, and then come to find out the day after she finds out his anullment did not go thru and sheis not getting married, she miscarries. I do not mean to sound mean or uncaring. But she has a history of dramatics, and casuing a lot of grief for people in her life.

I just want to talk with her, discuss with her what has happened and find out her side of the story...
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Old 07-06-2007, 12:22 PM
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thanksgivingmom thanksgivingmom is offline
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Is she getting you and your family involved in her "dramatics"? Is it affecting your daughter? (I don't know how old she is or how much she knows).

I understand if you are concerned for your daughters' birthmother or if her actions are affecting your daughter, I'm just not sure about what you hope to gain from this meeting. I don't want this to sound rude at ALL, I promise, but your daughters birthmother does not have to answer to you. If you don't approve of her choices regarding a possible false pregnancy or her choice of partner, that's only her problem if it negatively affects her daughter, IMHO.

As a birthmother, I have to make my own choices and not constantly worry about what what my DD's Mother will think or if she will hold it against me regarding the relationship I hope to develop with DD...
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Old 07-06-2007, 06:15 PM
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mrsred mrsred is offline
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Well said thankgsgivingmom. As an adoptive mom, in open adoption, I do not feel it is my place to "discuss" or judge any of my daughter's birth mother's affairs. As long as she is loving and appropriate with my daughter, we are all in a winning situation.
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