[kma_0911]

I am wonder would you consider obesity an issue?

pbm with a BMI of 35.
Research shows a risk of stillbirth, prematurity, neural tube defects, large gestational size and increase risk of childhood obesity.

Would this be an issue for you???

[JGarrick]

Something to be aware of, or cautious about later as the child grows, probably so, but for me, it wouldn't be a reason not to proceed now.

[jaenelle]

Absolutely not a concern.

If I was a PBM I'd be pretty offended that you were worried about it, honestly. But that's probably not something she'd know about, because the agency probably wouldn't tell her the reasons adoptive couples had turned her down.

But then again, I'm fat, which I'm assuming you're not or you wouldn't have asked this. I'm well over 40, BMI-wise, and I still work part-time, go to school full-time at a large university which requires a lot of walking, take care of my mom who is starting to age, and take care of my baby. I live a full, happy life and there's no reason to expect that your child couldn't even if they were fat.

Also, Yuna's birth mom is 5 feet tall and weighs well over 300 pounds, if the medical information we got on her was correct. Judging from the photo I've seen of her, I'd say it is. But she is healthy, has had all healthy pregnancies (one miscarriage excepted, and thin women can have miscarriages too) and Yuna is beautiful and healthy. She was a normal weight at birth and continues to be, if anything, on the small side.

I can't imagine rejecting someone based on their weight, but I suppose a lot of thin people would see it as a much bigger (pun most definitely intended) issue than it really has to be. I've been fat most of my life and have grown up to be okay. If the PBM is otherwise healthy, I'd go for it. I'd sure as heck rather have a fat PBM who was otherwise healthy than a skinny one who drank, smoked, or did drugs, for example.

[gigigeorge]

Originally Posted by kma_0911

I am wonder would you consider obesity an issue?

pbm with a BMI of 35.
Research shows a risk of stillbirth, prematurity, neural tube defects, large gestational size and increase risk of childhood obesity.

Would this be an issue for you???

I know you asked a serious question but honestly I find the 'research' stuff laughable... all the women in my family (aunts, grandparents) have had completely healthy children with absolutely no childhood obesity and we are talking moms who are on the highest end of the obesity scale. Ive never even heard those 'research' points and id be curious where they are from. My stepdaughter has a BMI of 38 and has given birth to two (with another on the way) exceptionally healthy, full term, mid range birth rates, with no birth defects or evidence of any childhood obesity.

g.

[HBV]

I want to copy Leigh1313's answer from another thread about smoking, because I think it is applicable here, too:

You can't expect this to be likeyour ideal pregnancy. There are many things that we can't control as adoptive parents.

I wouldn't worry about this at all.

[jaenelle]

I also wanted to add --

Everything you consider an "issue" and decide to reject a PBM based on will likely increase your wait time. Are you prepared for that?

If so, go right ahead and be as choosy as you want. Just be aware of the likely added wait time.

[EmmaLeigh2882]

I guess this might be phrased as a question- is the BMI based on her pre pregnancy weight/ muscle/ body fat ratio- or her current state of pregnancy?

Many women retain water or even gain extreme amounts of weight while they are pregnant and are a healthy weigh both before and after pregnancy...

If weight is a family issue and you are worried about genes in your potential newborn- well there certainly are worse genes to get...

If you are worried- teach your children to eat healthy, play all the time ( I hate the word exercise- I prefer physical play time)
and remember- you control what your child eats- you buy the food, prepare the food and serve the food... YOU set the example for healthy lifestyle and your chances of having a high BMI child will be a lot less...

It can be done.

[loveajax]

As an ahem...overweight woman myself, I would just ask some other questions. For example, I have diabetes Type II -- THAT could be a problem. But if everything is otherwise healthy, etc., I am not sure I would have any pause in this situation. (By the way, my mom (bio) was skinny, skinny, skinny and I did not get that "gene"!!).

[kma_0911]

Thank you for you all for your responses.
It was posed to us a potential issue.

BTW - I am not skinny, thin, or afraid of having an overweight child. Just wondering about how others felt regarding the potential health risks.

I was just wondering how others felt about this scenario.

Thanks again.

[myccg2004]

I have to say I feel that obesity should be looked at as a possible health risk. Just like all other factors, smoking, drinking, drugs etc... It can be dangerous for the pbmom. If it's potentially harmful for the pbmom how can it not be harmful ( in some way ) for a baby she is carrying?? It's probably pretty low on the risk chart compared to drugs , smoking, alcohol, malnutrition... But I still might be concerned. I wouldn't pass up on a situation because of it ( unless there were other risks along with obesity) but we are all different in how we feel about things. I try to respect everyones opionions and concerns.

[Emberbit]

I have to say that this post really scares me.

Will a-parents refuse to match with me because:

-My BMI is 30.
-I didn’t start folic acid until early in my 5th week of pregnancy.
-I have a family history of migraines
-I have a family history of seasonal and pet allergies
-I have a family history of myopia (needing glasses for distance vision)
-My mom had her first heart attack at 36.

Am I going to have trouble finding a match because of these things? Another thing to worry about…

[DianeS]

Originally Posted by Emberbit

I have to say that this post really scares me.

Will a-parents refuse to match with me because:

-My BMI is 30.
-I didn’t start folic acid until early in my 5th week of pregnancy.
-I have a family history of migraines
-I have a family history of seasonal and pet allergies
-I have a family history of myopia (needing glasses for distance vision)
-My mom had her first heart attack at 36.

Am I going to have trouble finding a match because of these things? Another thing to worry about…

Will you have trouble finding a match because of these things? That's not at all likely. Most adoptive parents aren't that strict about what they'd want and not want.

But could you possibly be turned down by prospective aparents once or twice? Sure, that is possible. But likely you wouldn't even hear about it. If the aparents are being that picky, they would have refused to be shown to you, so you wouldn't ever even know they existed.

Remember on these forums, when you hear "questions" like this one, sometimes the prospective aparent decides "it's OK", and sometimes they decide "it's not OK". Asking the question doesn't automatically mean its not OK. But they have to ask the question before they can reach an answer.

[MamaS]

My son's mother was 5'1" and weighed over 200 pounds pre-pregnancy. She had a history of high blood pressure and high choresterol from childhood. Nevertheless, she delivered by c-section a full-term, heathy 8lb. 7oz. baby boy.
Knowing her history, I was very careful with my son's diet. Nonfat milk, no french fries, no peanut butter, no sodas, lots of fresh fruits, limited carbs and very limited sugar and every package read for the lowest amount of fat and trans-fat. Because of his mother's history we had a blood test done when he was four years old. He was borderline critical for high cholesterol. The doctor told me what to cut out of his diet and I told the doctor nothing he listed had ever been IN his diet. It is heredity. We are doing blood tests every six months, hoping we will not have to put him on medication at this young age. So, it may seem unkind to be concerned about the pbm's weight, but it is not unreasonable.
P.S. I am obese and would not qualify for a China adoption now. So I am not looking down at anyone.
If anything, it is because my weight got out of control that I have tried to be so careful with his eating habits.

[srusse24]

Originally Posted by Emberbit

I have to say that this post really scares me.

Will a-parents refuse to match with me because:

-My BMI is 30.
-I didn’t start folic acid until early in my 5th week of pregnancy.
-I have a family history of migraines
-I have a family history of seasonal and pet allergies
-I have a family history of myopia (needing glasses for distance vision)
-My mom had her first heart attack at 36.

Am I going to have trouble finding a match because of these things? Another thing to worry about…

If these are the worst things in your medical history, I'd you are okay. These, as well as obesity, are minor issues in my book!

[HBV]

Originally Posted by DianeS

Remember on these forums, when you hear "questions" like this one, sometimes the prospective aparent decides "it's OK", and sometimes they decide "it's not OK". Asking the question doesn't automatically mean its not OK. But they have to ask the question before they can reach an answer.

Diane makes a good point here. We, like many aparents, dealt with infertility. When you realize that you aren't going to be able to carry a child yourself, there's a definite sense of loss. When you make the decision to adopt, you realize that you don't have any control over all of the things that you saw yourself doing to have a healthy child---those things are in someone else's hands. Coming to terms with that loss, that loss of control over the pregnancy and determining what risks you're OK with takes some time.