[InBlindFaith]

((((Browneyes))))

When you feel comfortable and safe you will be able to tell your parents. You know I'm here for you sister!!

[DebCsMom]

In the adoption wit our 4 year old, the BDad wasn't told for about a year & the BMom's extended family STILL doesn't know. Her parents & sister are the only family members that know. When our daughter was a few months old & her BMom was visiting, we got a call that her Dad was betting his kidney transplant. We drove back to the hospital. When we got there BMom's Mom met us in the lobby. She told us that BMom's Grandma was upstairs. She was told that we were friends from church & that they were our daughters Godparents!!!!!! I sat there in the room watching with such sadness as our daughter GREAT GRANDMA ooohhhhed & ahhhhed at her. She even held our daughter! It tore my heart out, this poor woman had no idea she was holding her very first great Grandchild!

This Summer our daughters BMom got married. We were asked not to come to the wedding so that no one would accidently find out who we were. I was so hurt! We have such an AWESOME relationship with BMom & her parents. It hurt us to not be invited to such a special event. BMom had always talked about our daughter being the Flower Girl at her wedding. But they still hadn't told anyone.

BMom is pregnant again. Everyone is sooooooo excited about the "First Grandchild". BMom tells me it's time to tell everyone, before the baby comes. I hope they all understand why it took her 4 years to do it.

Deb

[loveajax]

DebC'sMom, that must have been surreal!! I hope that everything works out well...

[ABWY]

We are in a similar situation. Immediate family knew about the pregnancy/adoption but not extended family. The birthmother was going to get married and had asked our daughter to be the flower girl. Our daughter is an exact replica of her birthmother and I did tell the birthmother and birthgrandmother that they needed to tell the people who were going to be at the wedding or they were going to have some people fainting in the aisle....In all seriousness, it is not your place to tell them and in my opinion it is totally up to them to make that decision. I know how you feel about your child being a "secret" but I think this is just one of the aspects of open adoption that we have to deal with.

[Aimee25]

In 1994, my husband found out he had a 7 year old daughter.Although she was not given up for adoption but 19months ago she gave my husbands first grandson up. Back in 1994, fathers rights were nil, once DNA proved he was the father they took child support but would not give visitation. It took us until October 30, 2006 to find his missing daughter. After talking to her we found out that she had been on her own since she was 16. Her mother would not help her find her dad. All she had to do was type his name in any search engine and it would give his number at work, home, cell phone and email. But she was not given a full name. When they were doing the adoption for her son, we came up in conversation but apparently no search was done to locate us. We understand and respect the importance of adoption as my husband himself was adopted at birth and we are trying to find his bmother and bfather. We have a little different of values, we would have cared for her son at the drop of a hat. The adoption was finalized in february 06. We are extremely saddened with the fact that we were not contacted. We will miss out on his precious life. My husband is taking it very hard. We have 6 children including his daughter that we have just located, they range from the age of 3-18. I also just lost what would've been our 7th. We have a very unique family and we love it. I agree that every child should have one mom and one dad, but children can never have too many Grandparents. I hope that our story helps all of you make the best choice for your babies. We are patiently waiting for the decision of the family who adopted our grandson. I thank everyone for doing their part in giving every child a happy home. That is everyone's job. Happy babies are very important.