[GAMom2B]

I'd love some advise from "both sides of the fence". I'l start from the beginning:

We met pbmom a few weeks ago. At the end of our meeting with her & parents in the same night, we mentioned that we'd stay in touch with her weekly. Just to see how she was doing, what's new, etc. We have stuck to that and she has been VERY receptive to our calls. We have kept the conversations to subjects relating to HER (after all she is pregnant and it's all about her now) like how her new apt & roommates are, how's her job search, etc.

Last week, she didn't answer & I left her a message. She didn't return the call; however, she made a point to be at a party we were at, knowing we'd be there. She took pics of us/her w/us, etc. She did tell us that she was leaning towards us, but that she was meeting with an agency/couple a few days later.

Her goal for making a decision as to who to place the baby with is coming soon. We'd like to be able to offer to answer any questions about us that may have come up during meeting(s) w/others.

My question is this: Do we continue to keep initiating contact? We don't want to put any additional pressure on her -- making this decision is tough and we respect this. But, on the other hand, we don't want her to wonder what happened to us.

We'd love to hear from amoms & bmoms as to their advise on how to continue! Thanks!

[lahdh4]

Is she due soon? I only ask because I know in the last 2 weeks I had I withdrew from everyone. I don't know if it would have continued but I just went "into" myself and did alot of thinking. Was the party after you called and left the message or before?

I can only speak for myself but I would just make a quick call nothing detailed or anything like that. Just "Hi, how are you?"

[GAMom2B]

She's not due until May. The party was after the 1st message. I forgot to put in last post that my last message (Friday) hasn't been returned.

[tobeafamily]

Here's the thing:

When building adoptive relationships, it is important to create trust. We do this by doing what we say we're going to.

So, in your shoes, I would continue to check in weekly, even if this is unreturned. If you've got more than a few weeks of non-response, leave a final message wishing her luck and giving her a method to reach you. Then, let it go.

She has not committed to making an adoption plan with you, nor you her. Regardless of what she does, until you've got a firm connection, I'd advise you keep yourselves open to other situations that may present themselves.

JMHO

Regina