[March]

We are planning to adopt a baby girl due in 5 weeks. We have been very involved with pbm for the past 7 months and live in the same area etc. etc.

We have been talking about what an open adoption means to both of us. I said we are willing to do whatever she would like. She said she would like to be the family friend and see the baby every 6 months or so. She is worried about explaining to the child as it gets older the relationship. Our kids already know she is having a baby and we are adopting it and I am only for complete honesty.

I told her how I was adopted as a baby and my parents always told me at an early age I was chosen and very special. I know only a few pieces of very non-identifying information.

Does anyone know of a great book or books that would explain to a child (that I could show pbm too) an open adoption and how they really have 2 mommies that love them etc.

We are not going through any type of agency so we aren't working with a counselor so a book would really be appreciated.

Thanks so much!

March

Mom to 3 biological boys
foster mom to 10 month old baby girl
waiting for sweet baby girl edd 3-8-06
adoptee

[tobeafamily]

We love:
Tell me again about the night I was born - Jamie Lee Curtis, available both as a board book and as a regular book. Use that to talk about how our story was the same and how different.

Adoption is for Always

Check out Tapestry Books (google it). They've got a whole category on books for younger children.

HTH

Regina

[taramayrn]

I also like "Pugnose Has Two Families".

[tsmaman]

I love "Tummy Mummy" (got in on-line here)

Pugnose is good too.

[bromanchik]

I haven't read the book "Tummy Mommy" But I have to tell you I don't know too many birthmoms that like the term. I personally find it insulting. My son has always used birthmom.

[tsmaman]

I think that my little guy is too young to be worried about semantics. We use every opportunity we get to discuss how we all became a family. We always speak respectfully of his birth/first/ other/ etc. family.
His birthmom & birthfather don't mind this terminology

The book (Tummy Mummy) , I feel, is very age appropriate for little ones. My preschooler understands he grew in another woman's stomach. When we read this book, we name his birth mom. As his language ability matures, so too will our terminology. He understands tummy; he understands mummy; he kind of undestands that babies grow in tummies

the flip side of this book: there is no birth father. the characters are cc.

I feel glad that at least the birthmother has a significant and visible role in this book.