|
do you think that maybe you are too close to the situation with the bmother? is it possible that all the help you are offering isn't really helping and is perhaps only causing stress for your family? could the relationship between you and the bmother actually be unhealthy? i don't ask these questions to be cheeky, but we have just been involved in a similarly close situation and, though our friend didn't have half as many serious issues as your friend, those issues coupled with our close relationship concerned us enough to cause us to bow out of the adoption (and we were present at birth -this month- and had the baby in our home so it was and is no easy thing!). i have helped and sacrificed for my friend for a year... to the point where it was definitely affecting my family... and there just came a time when i really had to wonder if my help was actually hurting her. i stepped away for a period of a few months around Christmas, and i was concerned that she would fall completely apart, very worried, so i left it to prayer. but she actually did beautifully! sometimes the tremendous support and help we offer can actually be a hinderance. weird but true. so perhaps for her good and for the good of your family, you might consider setting your friend free. she placed her child with you so that she (the child) would have a stable life. if your friend causes some serious family stress, then perhaps you can honor your friend by giving her what she wanted initially: a stable life for her daughter... and again, perhaps that means a fair amount of buffering from the crazy, crazy life of your very precious but very unhealthy friend.
may God watch over your situation, give you the courage to make wise decisions for the health of your family, and may He restore your peace. may God also shine the light on your dear but terribly troubled friend. may she find peace, health and happiness.
|
04-24-2006, 12:35 PM
Linear Mode
